Advice Please

  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 04, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    So this actually has nothing to do with sexuality or being gay but I thought this was a good forum to get advice.

    So I work at a school...And I love being around all the teenagers and giving them advice ect ect. They kids can be serious pains in the Ass but I love them and they can make me have a great day even when Im having my issues.

    Their is a Kid whos in 9th grade that im close with...I actually was best friends with his uncle growing up and know the kids mom and family ect ect.

    Such a Smart kid who in my opinion could do BIG things with his life...Hes very intelligent..Makes people laugh...Prob can have any girl he wants...just has a lot going on for him and I look forward to talking to him and giving him advice on a daily basis...Im helped him through some stuff last school year and I try to be there for him and not be hard on him is he gets in trouble and he is aware of that.

    Sometimes he can make stupid decisions in school...like walking out of class or coming in late...even swearing...nothing major,but he can sometimes lose focus...I have a soft spot for kids like that and it can bother me when he does these things because I see ALL the potential in him.

    Hes in 9th and the next couple of years are very crucial parts in his life...he can either go one way or the other and I wanna make sure he stays focused and does great.


    So my question is this...

    Im going to make a pact with him this week...that if he does well in every class and get atleast an 85% OVERALL (honor roll)every qtr.(4 per year) I will get something for him or get a business to possibly donate something to me to give to him...Im going to run it by his Mom and my boss as well.

    Now if all goes according to plan...and he does well...

    Will companies such as Target,Regal Cinemas,Cheesecake factory ..donate gift cards or things for me to give him...I would like to believe in my heart they would...I mean I know this is an independent thing im trying to do but it plays into a bigger picture and because I know the kid IT WOULD WORK.

    I really want him to know that if he works hard you can get rewarding in many ways in Life.

    So Im SO sorry for how long this is but I love sharing ideas with all of you.My main question I guess from this mini novel is:

    Will Business's/companies support me and donate things for me to give him if he does well in school.

    Everyone should check out Boostup.org...thats one of the organiztions that motivates me to do things like this and I love kids and helping them.

    Thanks Guys!!!!
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    Nov 04, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    It sounds to me like this is way outside of your best professional interests...

    While advice and mentoring show how great of a teacher you are, specifically focusing on one kid in this way can be looked down on, especially offering gifts (Bribes, rewards, whatever you want to call it).

    I would advise you to maybe tell his parents about the idea you had. Tell them about the immense potential you see in him. If his parents want to give him a monetary incentive, great! I know that many students in my school had a similar setups with their parents (Scottsdale, MIRITE?), and it worked very well.

    As his teacher, it's not your place... What if other parents heard about this? The school board? Teachers bribing specific kids with gifts doesn't sound too good in a district newsletter, does it?
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier saidIt sounds to me like this is way outside of your best professional interests...

    While advice and mentoring show how great of a teacher you are, specifically focusing on one kid in this way can be looked down on, especially offering gifts (Bribes, rewards, whatever you want to call it).

    I would advise you to maybe tell his parents about the idea you had. Tell them about the immense potential you see in him. If his parents want to give him a monetary incentive, great! I know that many students in my school had a similar setups with their parents (Scottsdale, MIRITE?), and it worked very well.

    As his teacher, it's not your place... What if other parents heard about this? The school board? Teachers bribing specific kids with gifts doesn't sound too good in a district newsletter, does it?


    Im not a Teacher.

    Also..i dont think my Co-workers would think that this Idea is that Odd seeing as 3 years ago the Principals made a pact with a student that if they graduated they would get him a Wii....And that they did ...they actually presented it to him at graduation in front of the whole audience.

    Its not meant to be innapropriate...its meant to be proactive and to keep on a child/teen who might be at Risk ya know what i mean?

    At the end of the day if I give him some small reward for doing good...is it that bad of a thing if it gets him to do good and graduate high school? The dropout rate is sickening
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    I hope more people can Help me out and give advice
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    Nov 05, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    I used to get $10 for As. $5 for Bs. Nothing for Cs. I'd have to pay $5 for a D or $10 for an F. I raked it in at report card time.

    My most efficient mother contracted with me. Chores around the house for allowance. All of that was written up, signed, sealed and delivered.

    The only downside is now that I'm 54 and back in school. with mom gone and no one to brag to, I got A's in my last classes so I sent a copy of my transcript to my brother to send me money for my grades but the cheap bastid didn't send me any. I'm very upset about this, obviously.

    I think what you are doing sounds wonderful. Can I send you my grades?
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    theantijock saidI used to get $10 for As. $5 for Bs. Nothing for Cs. I'd have to pay $5 for a D or $10 for an F. I raked it in at report card time.

    My most efficient mother contracted with me. Chores around the house for allowance. All of that was written up, signed, sealed and delivered.

    The only downside is now that I'm 54 and back in school. with mom gone and no one to brag to, I got A's in my last classes so I sent a copy of my transcript to my brother to send me money for my grades but the cheap bastid didn't send me any. I'm very upset about this, obviously.

    I think what you are doing sounds wonderful. Can I send you my grades?


    Well im happy for you that your doing good in school and give you props as well...Its good that you got paid for your good grades and funny when you had to pay...I loved when I got money for good grades its motivating in my opinion.

  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Nov 05, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    That a principal was allwoed to give a single student a Wii is offensive.

    If anyone had done that at my school I woulda bitched. I didn't bust my ass to get a 96% average, so that some other kid who was too lazy todo shit, should get a present for doing what? well but less well than me? or as well?

    The fact that they can goto a good school should be enough. In elementary school I got a few dollars for and A and B, and a video game store gave you an extra day for every A you got.

    Honestly, no company will donate stuff toyou so you can motivate one kid. It makes no sense, and they don't really care. NOW maybe start up a foundation for underpriviledged kids, and start going to companies. That might work.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    mizu5 saidThat a principal was allwoed to give a single student a Wii is offensive.

    If anyone had done that at my school I woulda bitched. I didn't bust my ass to get a 96% average, so that some other kid who was too lazy todo shit, should get a present for doing what? well but less well than me? or as well?

    The fact that they can goto a good school should be enough. In elementary school I got a few dollars for and A and B, and a video game store gave you an extra day for every A you got.

    Honestly, no company will donate stuff toyou so you can motivate one kid. It makes no sense, and they don't really care. NOW maybe start up a foundation for underpriviledged kids, and start going to companies. That might work.


    I understand your POV.Im just saying some kids need to be motivated especially if they are not getting rewarded at home for the good behaviro or good grades...Im not suggesting this to rile any feathers...just thought it was a good idea to motivate a kid and show them that someone cares...its meant to help
  • Import

    Posts: 7185

    Nov 05, 2011 2:03 AM GMT
    the whole things seems a bit awkward.

    How will u present ur idea to the donating company or business?
    Why will they care?

    I doubt any kid would be motivated by a gift card to the cheesecake factory or something small like that....


    besides, i bet u cherish this relationship more than the kid does. The kid prob couldn't care less
    Just mentor and guide him as u can. Unless u can buy him a h2 hummer for his super sweet 16, i doubt anything u can offer will motivate

    perhaps u have like a secret crush on him? and want him to think of u as this cool guidance counselor and awesome cool adult who "gets it" . . . icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 05, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    Import said
    perhaps u have like a secret crush on him? and want him to think of u as this cool guidance counselor and awesome cool adult who "gets it" . . . icon_confused.gif


    Glad you said it before I did.
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    Nov 05, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    Seems like a total conflict of interest to me regardless of the manner of intention.
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    Nov 05, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    Import said
    perhaps u have like a secret crush on him? and want him to think of u as this cool guidance counselor and awesome cool adult who "gets it" . . . icon_confused.gif


    Glad you said it before I did.


    Glad you said it before I did as well.
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    Nov 05, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    I am a high school teacher. Ninth grade is the age at which kids often get "lost." It's good to have someone looking out for him. But...if I was his father, I would really question why you are paying such attention.

    It's really easy to get close to kids, but important never to cross the line. They often don't have the maturity to understand the line, so the adult has to be extra vigilant in the relationship. The thing is, even if the relationship is totally innocent does not mean it will be perceived that way, even by the student himself.

    If you were simply a friend of the family, I wouldn't see such a problem. As a school employee, you will not only risk the obvious, but you may also create problems with other students who will question why you do not do the same for them. It doesn't matter that you are not a teacher.

    It will do a lot more for this boy to know an adult in the school cares about him than some kind of pact or award will do. It's amazing what that can do. Many kids this age feel lost because they think no one cares about them. They convince themselves this is true.

    To cite a phrase in your post:

    comical44just has a lot going on for him and I look forward to talking to him and giving him advice on a daily basis


    Watch out for this! Firstly, teenagers rebel against unsolicited advice. I used to resent it when I was a teen. Secondly, this can really lead you over the line. Be really careful.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    Import said
    perhaps u have like a secret crush on him? and want him to think of u as this cool guidance counselor and awesome cool adult who "gets it" . . . icon_confused.gif


    Glad you said it before I did.


    I cant believe this was even said...Completely offended by that..Thankyou
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 05, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Talk to your chief administrator, first (I think you are treading-on-thin-ice).
    If, by chance, s/he likes the idea, GET THEIR ANSWER IN WRITING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    S/He may have a more appropriate program to try out & offer you. ( I think you are on the verge of outing yourself, & causing great problems for yourself tho-.)
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    Nov 05, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    I am not sure how this going to work out esp. because you are hoping that a business organization may offer him a gift card for nothing. After all they are a "business" organization.

    I think you should google the business development office of the organization and present the idea to them. They might see it as good PR for them.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    Thankyou all for your opinions and advice...Some of you seemed to take this topic to level that it isnt....This idea of mine is strictly with good intentions and to try and help a teen that I know and keep him motivated with school when at times he can seem "at risk" or unfocused
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Nov 05, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    While your intentions are good, I wouldn't do anything to visibly favor one student over another.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Nov 05, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    wellwell saidTalk to your chief administrator, first (I think you are treading-on-thin-ice).
    If, by chance, s/he likes the idea, GET THEIR ANSWER IN WRITING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    S/He may have a more appropriate program to try out & offer you. ( I think you are on the verge of outing yourself, & causing great problems for yourself tho-.)


    I dont understand how your last sentence even makes sense or is even relevant
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 5:04 AM GMT

    Bridge of Credibility is sooooo slippery!!!!!!!!

    human-centipede-2_320.jpg
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    Nov 05, 2011 5:24 AM GMT
    jpBITCHva said
    Cash said
    Bridge of Credibility is sooooo slippery!!!!!!!!

    human-centipede-2_320.jpg

    But enough about yo' momma.


    You've been nipping at the NyQuil again haven't you?!?!??!

    I LOOOOOOVE the latest Diva Main Pic btw!!!!!!

    Where did you ever find a pic of Totie Fields wearing a wife-beater?!?!?!?!?!?
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    Nov 05, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    This just sounds like a VERY slippery situation, that could go downhill FAST.

    In MY 9th grade math class, the teacher got preggers half way through the year, so she stopped teaching half her classes and they got a temp. BUT, she was still there half the day. Well, one of the students who's mom worked at the school didn't like the new Temp teacher, so she would just not go to class and would have the regular teacher tutor her privately.

    Needless to say, that shit did NOT last long before there was a huge school-wide debate and almost lead to firings etc etc.

    You're in a very sensitive area.. anything that can appear to be favouratism, preferential treatment (especially where you have a 'history' of familiarity with the family...) that can all be taken to mean more than it actually might. I'd tread lightly, do NOTHING without the consent (preferably written) of the teacher/principal/boy's parents etc. etc.

    We also had a teach in my school who was privately tutoring a girl after hours in the building (which is illegal in MA.. private tutoring needs to be arranged out of public buildings)... Turns out he was also sleeping with her...
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    Nov 05, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    s-HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-2-large300.jpg
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    Nov 05, 2011 6:53 AM GMT
    I see why you're wanting to do what you want to do. I lecture at university and I see kids who are smart but are wasting their brains just scraping by, and I often wonder what incentive I could give to get those students to work harder.

    But it's not my job. My job is to help them learn and help prepare them for life after uni. In the real world you get a job and you get paid to do that job. You might get a bonus for going above and beyond, but the reward, the gift card so to speak, is keeping your job.

    If anything you should help this kid develop instrinsic motivation rather than introduce extrinsic motivation.