I'm dating an older dude and now I'm so confused.

  • StevenNewman

    Posts: 1

    Nov 05, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    Hey there everyone. Well, I'm 20 and I met this dude a couple of months ago. We were co-workers at the US open. We started to talk and everything was just okay, nothing but normal. I think that he is in his mid 30s or so... Anyway, while we were working, he was a very serious gentleman, still nice though. So one Monday, we were talking just as usuall, then he said "mmmm well, would u like to hang out this Friday?" wow, I was so surprised and kinda excited because I was waiting for him to ask me out. So I said "sure"

    Well, that friday we got off work and took the train at about 3 pm. I really thought we were going to have a coffee or something, but he was kinda tired and he needed to go to his place to change his clothes and get ready to go to some place or something. So while we were on the train he asked "do u mind if we go to my apartment? I really wanna change this clothes and perhaps take a shower." well, it was understandable, it was summer and work wasn't easy. And since I had the chance to go to my place before and change my clothes so I thought it was ok to wait for him, so I said "okay, no problem."

    We got to his apartment. He had a bunch of stuff just like books and pc softwares and stuff like that all over the apartment which was interesting. Anyway, instead of going out we talked the whole time in his apartment, he showed me the books and then his movie collection. He had plenty. Once he showed me that I didn't know what else to say. I was running out of words. So I sat on his bed facing the tv. So quiet. Well, then so suddenly he kissed me! I was like "wtf!!!" I said "don't you think we r going so fast?" he said, " no, we r just relaxing, is it that bad?" well, it was nice, so after the kiss we watched a movie and then at 11pm I went home.

    Well, since then we've been hanging out... Well, not quite, I always go to his place, we never go out. Anyway, one night after watching a movie, he said " mmm, we haven't talked about this yet but, do you know how old am I?" damn, I was avoiding that topic... I said " well, mmmm let's say that I don't want to know." my guess would be that he is mmmmmm 35?

    Well, I feel weird because he's been revealing info about himself and I thought I was starting to know this guy but now I feel that I don't know him at all. A week ago he told me he was in a band many years ago, which was cool to know. And c'mon, his personality is not as I thought it was! He used to be kinda crazy and silly, but due to his work and obligations he became kinda boring (that's what he says) but lately he's been acting kinda different.

    Anyway, last night I was at his place, we were going to watch a movie as usuall but he said that a friend of his was going to stay over that night so he wanted me to meet her. She was the manager of the band that they had many years ago. Ok, so at about 9 she arrived. Such a nice lady, well, while we were talking, I saw pictures of them in the band and pics of him when he was 25! (OMG OMG!!!! I didn't know he was a model! He used to be extremely HOT!!!! Well, he's still hot but not that HOT as before... So, ok, I saw pics of the band and stuff... Man, I saw the date! 1991.............. He was in his early 20s...... So I did the math... I'm afraid he is in his 40s! Well, that confusing to me because he looks way younger...

    I feel that I don't know him at all. But I'm afraid to ask further questions because it might freak me out. He is twice my age. anyway, he is a nice fellow, Lovely dude, am I too young for him?? Should I have to get to know him better? He's a box full of surprises, I'm afraid to discover something I don't like.

    We haven't had sex yet... Well, mmm kind of, I've slept with him plenty of times but no sex... It's been 2 months since I met him... I guess... So, is it time?
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 05, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    Yes. It is time for you to stop living in fantasy land and stop trying to titillate yourself with nonsense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    DanNewman saidHey there everyone. Well, I'm 20 and I met this dude a couple of months ago. We were co-workers at the US open. We started to talk and everything was just okay, nothing but normal. I think that he is in his mid 30s or so... Anyway, while we were working, he was a very serious gentleman, still nice though. So one Monday, we were talking just as usuall, then he said "mmmm well, would u like to hang out this Friday?" wow, I was so surprised and kinda excited because I was waiting for him to ask me out. So I said "sure"

    Well, that friday we got off work and took the train at about 3 pm. I really thought we were going to have a coffee or something, but he was kinda tired and he needed to go to his place to change his clothes and get ready to go to some place or something. So while we were on the train he asked "do u mind if we go to my apartment? I really wanna change this clothes and perhaps take a shower." well, it was understandable, it was summer and work wasn't easy. And since I had the chance to go to my place before and change my clothes so I thought it was ok to wait for him, so I said "okay, no problem."

    We got to his apartment. He had a bunch of stuff just like books and pc softwares and stuff like that all over the apartment which was interesting. Anyway, instead of going out we talked the whole time in his apartment, he showed me the books and then his movie collection. He had plenty. Once he showed me that I didn't know what else to say. I was running out of words. So I sat on his bed facing the tv. So quiet. Well, then so suddenly he kissed me! I was like "wtf!!!" I said "don't you think we r going so fast?" he said, " no, we r just relaxing, is it that bad?" well, it was nice, so after the kiss we watched a movie and then at 11pm I went home.

    Well, since then we've been hanging out... Well, not quite, I always go to his place, we never go out. Anyway, one night after watching a movie, he said " mmm, we haven't talked about this yet but, do you know how old am I?" damn, I was avoiding that topic... I said " well, mmmm let's say that I don't want to know." my guess would be that he is mmmmmm 35?

    Well, I feel weird because he's been revealing info about himself and I thought I was starting to know this guy but now I feel that I don't know him at all. A week ago he told me he was in a band many years ago, which was cool to know. And c'mon, his personality is not as I thought it was! He used to be kinda crazy and silly, but due to his work and obligations he became kinda boring (that's what he says) but lately he's been acting kinda different.

    Anyway, last night I was at his place, we were going to watch a movie as usuall but he said that a friend of his was going to stay over that night so he wanted me to meet her. She was the manager of the band that they had many years ago. Ok, so at about 9 she arrived. Such a nice lady, well, while we were talking, I saw pictures of them in the band and pics of him when he was 25! (OMG OMG!!!! I didn't know he was a model! He used to be extremely HOT!!!! Well, he's still hot but not that HOT as before... So, ok, I saw pics of the band and stuff... Man, I saw the date! 1991.............. He was in his early 20s...... So I did the math... I'm afraid he is in his 40s! Well, that confusing to me because he looks way younger...

    I feel that I don't know him at all. But I'm afraid to ask further questions because it might freak me out. He is twice my age. anyway, he is a nice fellow, Lovely dude, am I too young for him?? Should I have to get to know him better? He's a box full of surprises, I'm afraid to discover something I don't like.

    We haven't had sex yet... Well, mmm kind of, I've slept with him plenty of times but no sex... It's been 2 months since I met him... I guess... So, is it time?


    Next you'll find out that his favorite color is red, and that he loves any kind of pizza topping, except anchovies.

    O, THE SCANDAL OF IT ALL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 6:55 PM GMT


    Also, read this: http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/

    Be blessed and well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    You joined this site today. No profile. No pic. But you posted a 500 word essay about...nothing.

    Grow up.



  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Nov 05, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    So what's the problem? he's hot, he likes you, you like him... where is there a problem? Also i want bad ass tickets to the next US open.. and I'm being serious
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Nov 05, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    PHLmuscle8 saidYou joined this site today. No profile. No pic. But you posted a 500 word essay about...nothing.

    Grow up.







    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:00 PM GMT
    Show your 40-something hottie this post.
    That should solve everything.
    (He'll dump your immature ass).

    PS: if you think a kiss is shocking, GET OFF THE MAN'S BED, FOOL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    his ages scares you? just that? i would have hit the road when the ass said, "no, we r just relaxing, is it that bad?". If i dont want to kiss and he says that WE are just relaxing, he hasn't a clue or doesn't care what I'm feeling. The bitch might be relaxed but if I reacted like did, that would mean I'm not relaxed and chill with his advance!

    second, the guy is 40 and working the us open for what reason? don't 40's have real jobs to get to? oy vey! get me out of there, Last thing you need is to be stuck with a 40 yo with no direction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    If the age difference is going to be a large problem for you, I say be honest with him about it now. Otherwise, the learning new things about one another is pretty much a normal part of dating.
  • bigtits

    Posts: 113

    Nov 05, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    STAY AWAY FROM HIM !!!! HIS NAME IS CALEB AND HE'S A VAMPIRE!!!icon_eek.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Nov 05, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    i will not say anything because i believe at that age you should be with someone closer to your age. a dude in his mid 40's messing around with someone who is barely 20 is not a good thing for me. but that's just me. i am sure others will say go ahead and date him. i say not
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:25 PM GMT
    LJay saidYes. It is time for you to stop living in fantasy land and stop trying to titillate yourself with nonsense.



    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    What I want to know is which forum regular is always sitting around creating these phantom accounts with all these zany stories.

    I mean, this story can't be actual can it? Are people really this naive?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    And it's always their first pictureless post ...............icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    The OP wins my 599th forum block.

    What other picture-less gay fantasy novelist will win the prize and be my 600th forum block? Tune in next week and find out!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    Stupid useless boring amateur troll trying to pretend his life is interesting can't even make up interesting fairy tale story.

    This is RJ - OUR TROLLS ARE PROFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!!!

    Amateurs need not apply.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGO34D3FPuPBNcTplEjJR
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Cash saidStupid useless boring amateur troll trying to pretend his life is interesting can't even make up interesting fairy tale story.

    This is RJ - OUR TROLLS ARE PROFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!!!

    Amateurs need not apply.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGO34D3FPuPBNcTplEjJR
    Cash, you're starting to become almost as redundant as Jack.


    blahblahblahblahblahblahblah

    It's like the same person over and over again. So why be all that original.

    I have no problem with interesting Trolls btw.

    For the record Jack is frequently a hill-billie asshole but he is NOT an Amateur Troll. And he seems to really know his facts and details. HE is actually fun. Sorta.

    Plus I just love the pics of that dude from HC2.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    You guys didn't eat your honey bunches of oats...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    DanNewman saidWe haven't had sex yet... Well, mmm kind of, I've slept with him plenty of times but no sex... It's been 2 months since I met him... I guess... So, is it time?
    It was time on the first date. You're late.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    DanNewman said...I feel that I don't know him at all. But I'm afraid to ask further questions because it might freak me out. He is twice my age. anyway, he is a nice fellow, Lovely dude, am I too young for him?? Should I have to get to know him better? He's a box full of surprises, I'm afraid to discover something I don't like.

    We haven't had sex yet... Well, mmm kind of, I've slept with him plenty of times but no sex... It's been 2 months since I met him... I guess... So, is it time?

    You've found an older friend, not a serious lover. Have sex if it comes to that, but he is out of your price range. As you are for him. You need a man closer to your own age, as he does.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    AlphabetSoup.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    DanNewman saidI'm dating an older dude and now I'm so confused.
    Add your ages together. Then you can get senior citizen discounts and AARP stuff.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Nov 05, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    I'm going to treat this seriously despite the fact I was rolling my eyes the whole time.

    Ask the man his age. Then if it freaks you out and you don't feel sexually attracted to him, stop seeing him.

    Two months of seeing him without sex is a really long time! I would wonder what was up with him, to be putting up with a 20 year old without sex to even things out. Perhaps he has a Peter Pan syndrome?

    A lot of guys in their early twenties have crushes on older guys. That's no big deal. Whether you will be compatible as partners is something that only experience can show. Age is not necessarily an obstacle depending on the dynamic.

    He sounds a bit boring to me, maybe he is a little afraid of social situations, crowds? If you are bored just hanging out with him, another indication that you are not compatible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    This reminds me of a story of my youth.... My Youthier youth.

    I was a lad of merely 19, innocent and curious about the ways of dating. My father was moving to Oklahoma and I was to be driving through on my way to deliver my sister her car in Kansas City, Missouri. I decided to help him with his big move, I loaded up my sisters car and drove a day ahead of him, I drove until I could barely see straight... I was young and stupid and fearless, I drove for 22 hours. I arrived at the house in Oklahoma and dropped off my father's belongings inside of the covered porch behind his house.

    From there I was set to finish my cross-country journey to Missouri and hopefully fly home the next morning... until it happened... I stopped for a mid-day sushi snack at an upscale restaurant just off the highway, I noticed they had fishy delights a-plenty, but I digress... Across the empty restaurant was the most beautiful man of roughly 33 and a half. I locked eyes with him, he locked eyes with me. He stood up, ever so slowly, and walked over to my table and punched me square in the jaw... I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air" I whisteled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought, "NAW FORGET IT YO HOME TO BEL AIR!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cab, "YO HOMES SMELL YA LATA!" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel Air