Would you, or wouldn´t you date an HIV+?

  • tittan

    Posts: 28

    Nov 06, 2011 1:30 PM GMT
    There is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)
  • guyindc78

    Posts: 24

    Nov 06, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    Hi there,

    I was in a similar situation and it was tearing me apart.

    After lots of talking to friends, family, therapists, doctors etc..... here are a few things to consider.

    1. Are you ready for a relationship with someone who is HIV +. Be fair to him and let him know up front yes or no.
    2. Will you be able to compromise with his needs also (medical bills etc...)
    3. There are some very successfully relationships out there where one was positive and the other was negative...... it can be done.
    4. Read up about HIV transmission. From what I gather, it's not really that easy to transmit it. Unless you're doing full blown aggressive unprotected anal sex where semen and blood may come into contact. But oral is quite safe. And then there is the factor of being undetectable.

    I wish you luck. It's not all about the sex...... it can get very emotional if you guys get into a relationship.

    Hope this helps

    Best

    K
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 06, 2011 2:01 PM GMT
    you prolly already have; your (or he) just doesn't know it yet.

    icon_idea.gif
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    Nov 06, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    tittan saidThere is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)


    I've been HIV+ for 27 years (undetectable for 14), and the conversation about HIV is always a "filter moment". To this day, it still hurts a little when guys reject me because of my HIV+ status, but it's much better for me to know sooner rather than later. Why? Because it's obvious that if another guy can't handle my HIV+ status, he's not going to be as good a choice as a sex partner, as a possible friend, as a possible bf, and as a possible life partner. Guys show me how much or how little they are enlightened by how they handle the HIV conversation.

    In my view, you missed an opportunity to build trust with somebody who is funny, hot and real. He trusted you and showed vulnerability by sharing an important truth about himself with you. You freaked out.

    If you play safe anyway, then your risk of contracting HIV (or any other STD) is mitigated. And yes, you've probably already slept with HIV+ guys who just didn't have the balls to tell you.

    If the guy who you were dating really liked you, and if you really do like him, then I suggest giving him a call and asking him out for a cup of coffee, tea, or such. Get real and tell him that you're sorry you freaked out and that you'd like to get to know him some more. Maybe he'll give you another chance. Don't be surprised if he doesn't pick up the phone, or if he tells you to fuck off. Don't forget. You rejected him. Think about how you feel when you are rejected for who and what you are.

    If he gives you another chance, then open the dialog about HIV. Ask him how long he has known. Ask him if he is on treatment and if he is "undetectable". This will give you more of an idea of the risk of transmission you face, and it will also give you the opportunity show genuine interest in a funny, hot, and real guy.

    If the conversation goes well, and you feel the warmth (or fire) between you, then make the move and kiss him on the lips. Go for tongue if you're really hot for him. This will prove with your actions that you really do accept him for who his is, and that you're willing to take risks in at least sharing spit with him. Keep rubbers with you at all times. Because, you never know when you two may just want to fuck. Be like an Eagle Scout and "Always Be Prepared!"

    There are so many men in this world. And, from my experience there are so few who are worth my time. Tossing out the "keepers" just because they are HIV+ (or have herpes, or anal warts, or freckles, or whatever) is a sure way to a lonely, loveless life.

    Ultimately, you'll decide which factors are deal breakers for any guy who you date. Just be careful not to have too many or you'll never find anybody who fits your criteria. You'll be all alone.
  • tittan

    Posts: 28

    Nov 06, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    KC78 saidHi there,

    I was in a similar situation and it was tearing me apart.

    After lots of talking to friends, family, therapists, doctors etc..... here are a few things to consider.

    1. Are you ready for a relationship with someone who is HIV +. Be fair to him and let him know up front yes or no.
    2. Will you be able to compromise with his needs also (medical bills etc...)
    3. There are some very successfully relationships out there where one was positive and the other was negative...... it can be done.
    4. Read up about HIV transmission. From what I gather, it's not really that easy to transmit it. Unless you're doing full blown aggressive unprotected anal sex where semen and blood may come into contact. But oral is quite safe. And then there is the factor of being undetectable.

    I wish you luck. It's not all about the sex...... it can get very emotional if you guys get into a relationship.

    Hope this helps

    Best

    K

    Thanks dude
  • tittan

    Posts: 28

    Nov 06, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    tittan saidThere is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)


    I've been HIV+ for 27 years (undetectable for 14), and the conversation about HIV is always a "filter moment". To this day, it still hurts a little when guys reject me because of my HIV+ status, but it's much better for me to know sooner rather than later. Why? Because it's obvious that if another guy can't handle my HIV+ status, he's not going to be as good a choice as a sex partner, as a possible friend, as a possible bf, and as a possible life partner. Guys show me how much or how little they are enlightened by how they handle the HIV conversation.

    In my view, you missed an opportunity to build trust with somebody who is funny, hot and real. He trusted you and showed vulnerability by sharing an important truth about himself with you. You freaked out.

    If you play safe anyway, then your risk of contracting HIV (or any other STD) is mitigated. And yes, you've probably already slept with HIV+ guys who just didn't have the balls to tell you.

    If the guy who you were dating really liked you, and if you really do like him, then I suggest giving him a call and asking him out for a cup of coffee, tea, or such. Get real and tell him that you're sorry you freaked out and that you'd like to get to know him some more. Maybe he'll give you another chance. Don't be surprised if he doesn't pick up the phone, or if he tells you to fuck off. Don't forget. You rejected him. Think about how you feel when you are rejected for who and what you are.

    If he gives you another chance, then open the dialog about HIV. Ask him how long he has known. Ask him if he is on treatment and if he is "undetectable". This will give you more of an idea of the risk of transmission you face, and it will also give you the opportunity show genuine interest in a funny, hot, and real guy.

    If the conversation goes well, and you feel the warmth (or fire) between you, then make the move and kiss him on the lips. Go for tongue if you're really hot for him. This will prove with your actions that you really do accept him for who his is, and that you're willing to take risks in at least sharing spit with him. Keep rubbers with you at all times. Because, you never know when you two may just want to fuck. Be like an Eagle Scout and "Always Be Prepared!"

    There are so many men in this world. And, from my experience there are so few who are worth my time. Tossing out the "keepers" just because they are HIV+ (or have herpes, or anal warts, or freckles, or whatever) is a sure way to a lonely, loveless life.

    Ultimately, you'll decide which factors are deal breakers for any guy who you date. Just be careful not to have too many or you'll never find anybody who fits your criteria. You'll be all alone.


    Thanks for your advice dude. Actually we have not meet yet, it has been everything online so far, we life in different cities... However I do not feel I rejected him. Did I freak, yes, but I did not reject him. I told him I knew I should not freak because I quite updated on the disease, but I did. I asked him for time to organize my mind. I kind a find that despite having tones of information about the disease, and been a disease that is controllable and shortly it´ll be most likely erradicable, myself and society may still react as if it was still a deadly epidemic outbreak. And I want my decisions to make sense and be correct, not to be based of impulses
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    Nov 06, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    tittan saidThere is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)

    You now know this guy is honest. And, I would guess, more willing to be safe with you than others might be. Remember, many others THINK they're neg, or will even lie to you, when they're really poz. That why Safe Sex means assuming EVERY new guy is poz, and acting accordingly. Even a new guy may not know his own HIV status himself, if only because it take several months for the HIV indicators in the blood to appear that the common tests rely upon.

    I became a partner with a poz guy, who told me his HIV status from day one. We had safe sex over a several year period, and I remain negative. I was even the bottom, which is the most risky activity.

    But... I was already 53. I wasn't as worried about my long-term prospects if I did contract HIV -- my long-term prospects were already not all that long, by virtue of my age and other health issues I have. I also faced the risk that he would die early of AIDS and leave me alone, which, it turned out, he did. Some live for a long time, some don't, but it's a valid consideration, and again, perhaps a risk consideration relative to your own age. In 20 years HIV may be cured, but I can't predict.

    Finally, I deeply loved this guy, knew him for a year before we became partners. Your heart is also a factor. I think you could at least date him, with safe sex mandatory. It's OK to kiss him, but I wouldn't blow him without a condom, despite that being considered a low-risk activity.

    But don't treat him like a leper -- he's not contagious just to have ordinary interactions. I think you should appreciate & value that this guy is honest.
  • tittan

    Posts: 28

    Nov 06, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    tittan saidThere is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)

    You now know this guy is honest. And, I would guess, more willing to be safe with you than others might be. Remember, many others THINK they're neg, or will even lie to you, when they're really poz. That why Safe Sex means assuming EVERY new guy is poz, and acting accordingly. Even a new guy may not know his own HIV status himself, if only because it take several months for the HIV indicators in the blood to appear that the common tests rely upon.

    I became a partner with a poz guy, who told me his HIV status from day one. We had safe sex over a several year period, and I remain negative. I was even the bottom, which is the most risky activity.

    But... I was already 53. I wasn't as worried about my long-term prospects if I did contract HIV -- my long-term prospects were already not all that long, by virtue of my age and other health issues I have. I also faced the risk that he would die early of AIDS and leave me alone, which, it turned out, he did. Some live for a long time, some don't, but it's a valid consideration, and again, perhaps a risk consideration relative to your own age. In 20 years HIV may be cured, but I can't predict.

    Finally, I deeply loved this guy, knew him for a year before we became partners. Your heart is also a factor. I think you could at least date him, with safe sex mandatory. It's OK to kiss him, but I wouldn't blow him without a condom, despite that being considered a low-risk activity.

    But don't treat him like a leper -- he's not contagious just to have ordinary interactions. I think you should appreciate & value that this guy is honest.


    Thanks for your words, and I am sorry for your loose. I can not imagine how hard it was... was he on meds? I thought meds could control the disease in every person. However I do not know the health system in States. In my home country I think everyone has free access to those medications.
    On the other hand I am aware its safer to have sex with a poz person (since you can take apropriate measures) than with many neg or unknown people. So I guess it will end been about feelings.
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    Nov 06, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    tittan said
    GAMRican said
    tittan said...


    Thanks for your advice dude. Actually we have not meet yet, it has been everything online so far, we life in different cities... However I do not feel I rejected him. Did I freak, yes, but I did not reject him. I told him I knew I should not freak because I quite updated on the disease, but I did. I asked him for time to organize my mind. I kind a find that despite having tones of information about the disease, and been a disease that is controllable and shortly it´ll be most likely erradicable, myself and society may still react as if it was still a deadly epidemic outbreak. And I want my decisions to make sense and be correct, not to be based of impulses


    Asking him for time to organize your mind was a smart and sensitive thing to do. I wish you had shared that in your original post. Personally, I respect when somebody says something like that to me when we have "The Conversation".

    Whether or not HIV is ever eradicated, don't wait for it. Another "HIV" will come along (whatever the name it may be). That is the nature of biology and virology.

    Also, any person may suddenly find themselves forever on the other side of the fence when it comes to something like HIV. Compassion now may come back to reward any person in the future.

    Good luck with the dude. I hope it works out for you two. Even if it doesn't, it sounds like you've become a better man because of the experience. Kudos!
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    Nov 06, 2011 3:14 PM GMT
    tittan saidThanks for your words, and I am sorry for your loose. I can not imagine how hard it was... was he on meds? I thought meds could control the disease in every person. However I do not know the health system in States. In my home country I think everyone has free access to those medications.

    On the other hand I am aware its safer to have sex with a poz person (since you can take apropriate measures) than with many neg or unknown people. So I guess it will end been about feelings.

    Thank you for your thoughts. Yes, he was on meds, and his viral load and all other indicators were excellent. But he'd had HIV for 12 years, and an opportunistic disease can strike without warning.

    In his case it was the "JC" virus, which 70% of all Americans carry in their kidneys, and whom it doesn't ordinarily threaten. But with a weakened immune system it can cross into the brain, where it is 100% fatal. JC in turn causes an AIDS condition known as PML (Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy). Progressive meaning it cannot be stopped, multifocal because it can strike many areas of the brain, and leukoencephalopathy because of the layer of the brain infected (the "white matter").

    I had to learn about this horror when my partner contracted it, going into a state of dementia almost overnight, and literally dying in my arms 6 weeks later. And no medicine or treatment could save him, and I believe that remains true today.

    And yet I personally know men who have had HIV for over 20 years and are still thriving. You just never know when a fatal opportunistic disease will strike, due to the weakened immune system.
  • Keras

    Posts: 10

    Nov 10, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    I would not date a HIV+, maybe I will when Im 40+ and the life is over. Haha, not over but you know, I dont wanna spend my young years being sick and infected.

    Ive been worried about my HIV status in 6 months before I dare get tested, thankfully Im negative, but that fear is not worth it, and that feeling about being infected even tho you not actually feel it but mentally is not worth it.

    He can fimd anothet great already HIV+ guy and play with.
    And you can find one HIV- and dont have to be worried!

    Lev livet och tänk på att det är kort - bättre att njuta! (swedish hehheeee)
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    Nov 11, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    The thing you really need to do is educate yourself from a reliable source. You live in Toronto, so that AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT) is a great place to start. Once you have the facts, then you can make a educated decision from there.

    You are right -- in the past you may have had sex with someone who was HIV+ and didn't know it...and maybe they didn't even know it.
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    Nov 13, 2011 8:43 AM GMT
    Art_Deco saidI think you should appreciate & value that this guy is honest.


    Ummm, not to be insensitive, but legally, it is a felony in most states if you do not disclose your HIV+ status to your partners. So the guy has no choice but to reveal the truth...so don't take this as an honesty trait.

    Tittan, you live in Toronto. When I lived there, there was a recent news about this idiot who was infecting other people on purpose by not disclosing his status. He was referred to as the "ticking time-bomb."

    Here goes:
    http://www.torontosun.com/2011/09/02/aids-infected-man-accused-of-assault

    Personally, I wouldn't but that is my choice. You can make your own after your research.
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    Nov 17, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    I've been HIV+ for 27 years (undetectable for 14)


    I truly despise when HIV+ men say they are undetectable. This is perhaps the 100th time I've heard an HIV+ man utter such nonsense. It almost sounds like a free pass for them to have unprotected sex when they say such things. "I'm undetectable, there's nothing to worry about!".

    After infection, HIV virus presence, either by detection of the viral RNA or the ELISA test, that detects the presence of reverse transcriptase (induced by the virus in the nuclei of the infected cells in the host), the test would still be positive.

    As a matter of fact (I am a doctor), when we find a POSITIVE Enzyme Linked Immuno Absorbency test, we do repeat the test at once, and if still positive, we do reconfirm the presence of the RNA from the HIV virus, by means of the western blot test. As you can see, not even heavy loads of antiretrovirals such as azidovudine, lamivudine, or inhibitors of the protein synthesis of the virus, such as ritonavir, saquinavir, etc, are capable of reversing the lab, results...Its a fallacy. The treatment DOES NOT change positive tests. There is truly no such thing as "undetectable HIV".

    Did you doctor actually tell you, that your HIV is undetectable? If so..he should lose his medical license.
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    Nov 19, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    I have a friend today, that I met in a club. 2 weeks after, he told me he was HIV +. All we did was kissing and cuddling.

    I was really shocked and mad when he told me, but after I was fine with that. I went to get tested and I'm HIV -.

    I still see him, but we are not kissing (even if there is a very very very minimal risk, I just don't want to play with %), just cuddling. We go out often in clubs and eat, but I don't think I'll ever be able to have a relationship with him icon_neutral.gif . Yes, I find myself very ugly and sad.

    It's up to you, if you are not able to be over his status, then at least be his friend.
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    Nov 19, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    I was in a similar situation. I'd go for it. I wouldn't let it get in the way.
  • camofchris

    Posts: 73

    Nov 19, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    tittan saidThere is this guy I have been chatting with. He is funny and really hot. We talked about dating and at that point he told me he is HIV+. And then I freaked... but should I? Probably I have dated other HIV+ guys without knowing and I did not worry because I always keep everything I do safe. Thus, should I appreciate this guy been honest with me and stop worrying? Do you guys think knowing about it would allow us playing safer than if I wouldn´t know? I think I need to clear my mind to take a decision... What do you guys think about this? What would you do? Do you think I am over reacting? (Actually I think I might be...)


    I contracted HIV in my late teens. It's frustrating that the guys who are truthful essentially take the fall, get rejected. But as someone previously stated, I use it as a filter. I'd rather someone tell me up front if they can handle it or not. If they can't, there's a slight 'bummer' moment.

    Back to your question. Imagine that you begin dating this guy. Would you treat him any differently than someone who you thought was positive? If the answer is yes, you should let him go. If the answer is no, then sounds like there's potential.

    The last thing anyone wants to be treated as is a science experiement.

    Good luck,
    Cam
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    Nov 20, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    StinkyHitler said
    GAMRican said
    I've been HIV+ for 27 years (undetectable for 14)


    I truly despise when HIV+ men say they are undetectable. This is perhaps the 100th time I've heard an HIV+ man utter such nonsense. It almost sounds like a free pass for them to have unprotected sex when they say such things. "I'm undetectable, there's nothing to worry about!".

    After infection, HIV virus presence, either by detection of the viral RNA or the ELISA test, that detects the presence of reverse transcriptase (induced by the virus in the nuclei of the infected cells in the host), the test would still be positive.

    As a matter of fact (I am a doctor), when we find a POSITIVE Enzyme Linked Immuno Absorbency test, we do repeat the test at once, and if still positive, we do reconfirm the presence of the RNA from the HIV virus, by means of the western blot test. As you can see, not even heavy loads of antiretrovirals such as azidovudine, lamivudine, or inhibitors of the protein synthesis of the virus, such as ritonavir, saquinavir, etc, are capable of reversing the lab, results...Its a fallacy. The treatment DOES NOT change positive tests. There is truly no such thing as "undetectable HIV".

    Did you doctor actually tell you, that your HIV is undetectable? If so..he should lose his medical license.


    Well, then, let's face it, let's run and get the doctors at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and collectively take away their medical licenses! What with the article below? Irresponsible!

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/treatment/resources/factsheets/art.htm

    Of course, it could also be that your doctorate is in theology and not in medicine, and that you should read up before giving advice. Both ELISA and Western Blot are antigen tests and do not measure actual viral load, but simply that the immune system responded to an infection.

    There is such a thing as undetectable viral load, and people that are infected with HIV but have undetectable viral load are much less likely to infect others than those that haven't.

    @tittan: Good luck, man! I know it's hard to deal with the emotional issues raised by HIV and AIDS. I freaked out just like you the first few times I found out my date was HIV+, and I am still ashamed of it. I did so despite knowing better.

    I read up on HIV and AIDS - thankfully there is a ton of quality information available. I am HIV- and plan to stay that way, but I have completely given up my irrational fears of HIV+ people. Now all I see is the pain I caused in them years ago, when they felt rejected by me for no good reason, because I was too lazy to research.
  • maxxbot

    Posts: 9

    Nov 23, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    krispera saidI have a friend today, that I met in a club. 2 weeks after, he told me he was HIV +. All we did was kissing and cuddling.

    I was really shocked and mad when he told me, but after I was fine with that. I went to get tested and I'm HIV -.

    I still see him, but we are not kissing (even if there is a very very very minimal risk, I just don't want to play with %), just cuddling. We go out often in clubs and eat, but I don't think I'll ever be able to have a relationship with him icon_neutral.gif . Yes, I find myself very ugly and sad.

    It's up to you, if you are not able to be over his status, then at least be his friend.


    Have you ever had sex before? with anyone? ever?

    If so that act was probably far more likely to have given you HIV than your kissing of the poz guy.

  • emptyattempt3

    Posts: 14

    Nov 23, 2011 9:44 PM GMT
    i had a relationship with a + person before and it was the best relationship i ever had.. the only reason were not still together is because i had to move many states away
  • DR2K

    Posts: 346

    Nov 26, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    Sure, as long as they're monogamous and practice safe sex.
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    Nov 26, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    Is he undetectable and healthy? If yes, then probably.
  • tittan

    Posts: 28

    Nov 29, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    Guys thanks a lot for your opinions, the subject was quiet for a while and now suddenly more people got to write and share their thoughts.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 09, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    Given a choice I would rather date a guy who is HIV negative. Given a choice I would rather date a guy who is physically and mentally healthy, happy, grounded, employed, fun, energetic, etc.
    We make a bunch of choices about what we will negotiate on when we are dating someone and who we would allow ourselves to fall in love with. Funny, I would not date a drug addict, but I would date a positive guy, weird place to draw the line.
    These are all such personal choices, and we all get to make them on our own set of guidelines. For me, HIV would be a smaller issue that some other things, especially as I get older. A spectacular man of substance with an incurable infectious disease beats a well hung idiot with a problem with meth everytime.
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    Dec 26, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    StinkyHitler said
    GAMRican said
    I've been HIV+ for 27 years (undetectable for 14)


    I truly despise when HIV+ men say they are undetectable. This is perhaps the 100th time I've heard an HIV+ man utter such nonsense. It almost sounds like a free pass for them to have unprotected sex when they say such things. "I'm undetectable, there's nothing to worry about!".

    After infection, HIV virus presence, either by detection of the viral RNA or the ELISA test, that detects the presence of reverse transcriptase (induced by the virus in the nuclei of the infected cells in the host), the test would still be positive.

    As a matter of fact (I am a doctor), when we find a POSITIVE Enzyme Linked Immuno Absorbency test, we do repeat the test at once, and if still positive, we do reconfirm the presence of the RNA from the HIV virus, by means of the western blot test. As you can see, not even heavy loads of antiretrovirals such as azidovudine, lamivudine, or inhibitors of the protein synthesis of the virus, such as ritonavir, saquinavir, etc, are capable of reversing the lab, results...Its a fallacy. The treatment DOES NOT change positive tests. There is truly no such thing as "undetectable HIV".

    Did you doctor actually tell you, that your HIV is undetectable? If so..he should lose his medical license.



    I was thinking the same thing, I'm a medical student and was confused by all this undetectable malarky. If ur positive, ur +ve, the antibodies are there and are going to be detected in lab results, thats why those lab tests exist, If there were a significant number of people in the HIV + population that wouldnt test as +ve using the ELISA and western blotting tests, then those tests wouldnt even have been passed as safe to use. I assumed, when people say 'undetectable' they mean a really low viral load. But HIV can always be detected I thought.