Kinda down on my fitness and nutrition plan right now :(

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2007 12:52 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    This is going to sound real lame, but I'm feeling real down and out of it right now. I can't seem to get back into the diet and exercise swing of things at the moment, and it's pissing me off. I've accepted that I'm feelin' like crap, but wonder what you guys do when you're feeling like this?

    Also, I was planning on joining a gym this week, but because I'm saving money so I can afford school this fall - I can't now. :( That's bumming me out hardcore, and almost making me want to say "screw it...if I can't work out, then this isn't going to work."

    I'm kinda proud of myself though..instead of just saying "screw it", I'm saying something (even if it's on an internet board). So...any words of advice?

    Thanks,

    J
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 18, 2007 2:10 PM GMT
    Why not doing some free activities. You can go jogging for free , put some music on and start dancing , aerobic . , save you money for school . Maybe you should look , into why you are feeling like this...school stress, boyfriend problem, financial ...then only you can find the solution.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jul 18, 2007 3:24 PM GMT
    Good advice from Zak there. But sometimes we can feel down and unmotivated and not have a reason. It may be something like an unbalance of chemicals in your body.

    In your case menu2 I think you're right to congratulate yourself on saving towards your education. Investment in that will pay dividends in the future.

    But don't beat yourself up about not being motivated towards a healthy lifestyle. You're probably going through a phase, most of us do.

    Like Zak says, why not be constructive and look at ways to get fit that don't involve a gym? On one of the other forums there's discussion about exercise at home, read that and look at getting a routine that doesn't cost money. Why not invest in a stability ball? they're only a few quid and you can download exercises off the internet.

    Once you start to do some productive exercise you'll be surprised how your attitude will change.

    Good luck

    Loz
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2589

    Jul 18, 2007 6:03 PM GMT
    You don`t need to belong to a gym to get or stay fit,menu2!Like Zak says,you can go jogging for free.that`ll help your down mood.I`ve never been with a gym,occaisionally dropped in for advice,but I`ve made great progress in aerobic fitness and muscle gain/definition.I`ve had my down moods,too.If you keep a consistent exercise regime up,they`ll pass,and you can get on and enjoy the workouts.Good luck!Hugs,John.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 18, 2007 6:35 PM GMT
    Also, most schools have some sort of gym that your tuition should cover.
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    Jul 18, 2007 7:09 PM GMT
    There's lots you can do without heading to the gym. Google "bodyweight training" and you'll find some great info on how to leverage your own body weight for a kickass workout. No equipment = no money spent.
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    Jul 19, 2007 12:50 AM GMT
    Heya,

    I'm feeling a little better today - I went out and bought a stability ball last night. Back when I belonged to a gym, I loved that thing. So the gym situation is resolved...until school starts then I will be using their facilities ;)

    I wondered mostly about the mood thing, though. Are there days when ya'll just feeling like saying "screw it?" How do you prevent yourself from doing that, and eating a whole pizza or skipping your cardio? What is the process that goes through your mind?

    J
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2589

    Jul 19, 2007 12:57 AM GMT
    Strangely enough,the days when I feel like "screw it" are often the days I run the best!I try to remember that feeling of positive,near limitless energy I develop after fourty odd minutes of running,and how I`ll come in from the run in a much better mood than I went out.Try to think on the benefits you`re gaining from the workout.Also,do you have a workout buddy to go with?Having one can be a great motivator!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2007 1:53 AM GMT
    My boyfriend is out of town until August, so no. :(

    I do feel kind of pleased with myself when I go for my cardio for an hour. But it's hard to remember how good that feels all the time.

    You know, suddenly I realized I don't really have a motivating factor for all of this, except to look hot in clothes and naked. Maybe that's not enough?
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2589

    Jul 19, 2007 2:10 AM GMT
    Maybe you could find another buddy....A friend,work mate,family member?Anyway,August isn`t that far away...Try doing cardio workouts regularly,say every other day,so the good memory lingers on.It helps me through the "do I have to?" days to think of exercising as long term investment in my health.A good routine of exercise is best set up when you`re young,it becomes a good habit,and you just carry on doing it.Later on you reap the benefits.Time`s on your side,menu2.Don`t waste it.

    Looking good in clothes might seem a bit trivial to you,but you always look better when you`re healthy,so even if that`s your motivation,it`s still something to work on,to aim for...

    I hope this is some help to keep you moving.Hugs,John.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2007 3:07 AM GMT
    Well, I hope it's enough, Menu2 ;). That's MY whole reason!

    I want to look good, now, while I'm still young. But -ALSO-... I look at all of the guys who looked thin, and great when they were in their 20's, and are now really fat 40-50 year old guys... and I think, "It's time to start now, before I ever have a problem to deal with."


    Plus lets face it: The healthier you are, in terms of body and diet, the less likely you are to be affected by some things. You'll be less likely to break bones, you'll be better able to defend yourself should someone physically attack you, you'll have more energy to get through your day-to-day... and from what I understand, it reduces the risk of some diseases and heart conditions.
  • atxdavid

    Posts: 15

    Jul 19, 2007 9:36 AM GMT
    I dare say that looking good is at least *part* of the motivation for all of us!!!

    Some of us have additional reasons (personally, for me, I have a family history of rampant adult-onset diabetes, and am determined to avoid/delay that as long as possible).

    That said, no matter your motivation, everyone has times when we our motivation dips. For me it's when my travel schedule gets exceptionally crazy (i.e. more than 2 cities in a week). The key is not to let a temporary dip completely derail your efforts. So what if you miss a day or two of cardio? Yeah, you'll feel down on yourself, but that's no reason to say "screw it" altogether.

    There's some good advice above re: bodyweight training and using the school gym.

    Good luck with it!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2007 7:16 PM GMT
    Here, here to everyone telling you you don't need a gym to get into and stay in shape. Depending on your goals, at some point you will need to do some resistance training to build size but that's where, as suggested, bodyweight training can come in. Look at a gymnast, they work with their bodyweight all the time and if I could look like that...I'd never lift a weight (not to say they don't incorporate resistance training in their programs too).

    Even if you work out in your house or apartment there are plenty of things you can do to get in shape without spending money on a gym. Get your education and as far as working out goes, do whatever you enjoy and do it regularly, walk, jog, run stairs, hike or bike. Do pushups, pull ups, lunges, calf raises on the edge of a step, use chairs, gallon jugs of water, bricks, whatever you can get your hands on (spend a little money on a set of dumbbels for home if you can) that will provide resistance to your movements.

    It will all produce results if you stick to it!

    Scott
  • hotversguy

    Posts: 155

    Jul 20, 2007 5:20 AM GMT
    If want long term motivation don't think of your muscles think of your bones. I have great respect for the elderly, but watch the old business guy walking around versus the old guy who worked in construction or was in the military.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2007 6:07 PM GMT
    Coming here for advice was a good idea.

    You are in what is known as the "plateau efffect". We all have one specially tailored to our body.

    I had one just last week, but making minor to drastic changes is key. Listen to your body, and step it up a bit.

    The whole idea of that P90X seminar is to shock your body into different types of workouts to advance your physical fitness levels. Don't go out and buy it, all I did was research the subject on the internet and got valuable information for free.

    It's the same workout regimine, just not so much hype or flare. Just pure, plain truth and tesimonials of muscle training.

    If you need to buy something to make you "feel better" about your physical fitness, then get the basics: A medicine ball 12 pounds or higher, a jump rope and adjustable dumbbells up to 25 pounds. Total cost: $50 tops. Considering that fitness is a multi-billion dollar industry, you'll only be spending a fraction of what typical Americans spend in a year. Your investment will last you long enough to enjoy considerable results. I know mine did.
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    Jul 22, 2007 8:06 AM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I wondered if you guys ever experience this.

    Today, I was having a great day. I'm down to 203 and I really think I'll hit my mini-goal of below 200 by my birthday (August 3).

    Tonight, I went out with a friend. I wore a t-shirt I thought was nice and a pair of jeans that I thought looked good. I felt real confident as we went out to a gay bar with him.

    You know, I felt like I was fittin' in real well among the crowd. Felt real good, was enjoying myself - and then the "sarcastic humor" began with my friend. I'm not really into that kind of humor, but he is. I tried to play along, making a joke that had no basis in truth about my friend. He stepped it up by saying "well, at least I'm thin."

    First off, at 203 and 6'3", I don't think of myself as not thin. Today, I really felt good about myself and thought I looked very fit and decently built. But that comment just seemed to cut right to the heart.

    Normally, I would let it bottle up inside. It probably would cause me to say "fuck it, what's the point? what more can I do?" But instead I registered a little displeasure at the statement. I felt like he was controlling me with the statement, telling me a different reality to believe than the one I was experiencing.

    Later, I felt like I needed to say something, so I told him "you know, I'm not fat." He said "I didn't call you fat." "The statement implied that you are thin, and I am not." He said "you're being too sensitive". I said "no, I'm not. I'm letting you know that I don't like that and it's not okay with me." We kind of moved on after that, but there was a twinge of uncomfortability.

    Later, another friend of mine gave me a big lecture about how it was okay to be confident, but not cocky. It was in response to a joke. I laughed a bit, because I'm the last person to think too highly of himself.

    So, my question: what is it about gay men that causes them to say such things at times? This is not the first time this has happened. And it seems to really cut me down to the bone. Why does it bug me so much? And as Diane Lane says in "Under The Tuscan Sun," "What MORE can I do?"

    In other words, when have I changed enough that I'm insulated from this kind of stuff? Or will it never end with gay men? And what's a good way to still go out and about to interact, without being so shocked by it?

    Thanks

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 22, 2007 2:28 PM GMT
    I would take that guy comment as a challenge to prove him wrong. One day you will have better body that him, so he will shut up.
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    Jul 22, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    Menu, it will never change. In fact, it will probably get worse. The more confident and comfortable you get with who you are, the more people are going to try and tear you down one way or another and it's not cocky to be self confident. There can be a fine line sometimes between the two but they are not mutually inclusive.

    You're friend is an insensitive jerk and you had every right to tell him how that comment made you feel. However, it's probably not going to change him and you can't change him. Maybe eventually enough people will tell him he's an insenstive jerk and he'll get it and do something about it but you've got to take care of yourself. You need to look at your feelings about this and see if there is anything there for you to learn and grow from. Maybe you still have some deep insecurities about yourself and hearing something like that just brings them all flooding to the surface....it's what we call pain in counseling (from a patients perspective, not a professional) : ) Hence the statement, from pain comes growth...nothing could be truer when you are talking about healing yourself. You are taking positive steps to make you feel better about who you are but remember, your body does not define you. No matter how our society objectifies beauty and forces a certain physical aesthetic on us (men and women), we must each learn to see that for what it is....marketing, no more no less. Having a "beautiful" body, only makes one physically appealling and says nothing about who you are.

    I'd find a new friend and let this guy learn for himself that if he continues his insensitive and passive aggressive behaviour, no one will hang around him. Then he'll have to look at himself and decide what he's going to do!

    Take care of yourself first, then you'll attract people to you that appreciate that you know who you are and are happy with that. You'll have happier more positive people around you who are comfortable enough with themselves that honestly sharing your feelings about something will be appreciated and not turned back on you as some character flaw.

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    Jul 22, 2007 4:54 PM GMT
    Menu, it will never change. In fact, it will probably get worse. The more confident and comfortable you get with who you are, the more people are going to try and tear you down one way or another and it's not cocky to be self confident. There can be a fine line sometimes between the two but they are not mutually inclusive.

    Your friend is an insensitive jerk and you had every right to tell him how that comment made you feel. However, it's probably not going to change him and you can't change him. Maybe eventually enough people will tell him he's an insenstive jerk and he'll get it and do something about it but you've got to take care of yourself. You need to look at your feelings about this and see if there is anything there for you to learn and grow from. Maybe you still have some deep insecurities about yourself and hearing something like that just brings them all flooding to the surface....it's what we call pain in counseling (from a patients perspective, not a professional) : ) Hence the statement, from pain comes growth...nothing could be truer when you are talking about healing yourself. You are taking positive steps to make you feel better about who you are but remember, your body does not define you. No matter how our society objectifies beauty and forces a certain physical aesthetic on us (men and women), we must each learn to see that for what it is....marketing, no more no less. Having a "beautiful" body, only makes one physically appealling and says nothing about who you are.

    I'd find a new friend and let this guy learn for himself that if he continues his insensitive and passive aggressive behaviour, no one will hang around him. Then he'll have to look at himself and decide what he's going to do!

    Take care of yourself first, then you'll attract people to you that appreciate that you know who you are and are happy with that. You'll have happier more positive people around you who are comfortable enough with themselves that honestly sharing your feelings about something will be appreciated and not turned back on you as some character flaw.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2007 4:54 PM GMT
    Sorry about the double post everybody. Don't know why that happened.
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    Jul 22, 2007 4:55 PM GMT
    hi menu2 i think u r very cute...n yr so called friend is just jealous. Gay men tend to be like that all the time especially the bitchy sissy ones just wanted to say something to make them feel good by demeaning others. I'm so used to it already n what i do is just ignore them n n at the same time make it a challenge 4 me to look better n sort of like a wake up call coz sometimes i lost track of how i look n need someone to tell me even tho it hurts like hell. so my advice is if u r confident enough with how u look then thats all that matters, if not well...exercise more n eat better! To get me motivated, every time i feel lazy n uninspired i go online go to realjock n read all the great articles n the pics of the members n walla! damm i wanna be like them! better get a moving!
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2589

    Jul 22, 2007 9:04 PM GMT
    menu2,you`re probably going to get this kind of thing because of jealousy like iskandar says.You`re achieving something more than your "friend" is.His only response is sarcatic comments in your direction,then when you stand up to them,he calls you too sensitive.
    Sadly,I`ve met gay men like this as well over other issues.I`m not into putting other guys down,but it used to cut me up badly when I professed ignorance of something,then became the butt of clever,clever jokes.I think these guys` quick wits hid a deep insecurity over many things that they couldn`t really deal with,so they struck out at any available target,making themselves feel temporarly better.But wounding me in the process.I kind of developed a gentle pity for them to help myself.
    There does seem something destructively competitive about gay men and our culture that leads to this kind of situation;and,unfortunately,I can`t see it changing much.You need to think better of yourself.
    Maybe you need to see less of this "friend",and find a more congenial one.Also,try to concentrate on your achievements,not their criticisms.You should set your own agenda,not let them do it.
    Don`t let this put you off your goals.It`s temporary.We all have bad days,etc.,feel useless.I`ve been through much of this crap!
    Remember,you`re not unique in suffering this.Hope this is some use for you.Hugs,John.
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jul 22, 2007 10:28 PM GMT
    Your friend knew that his comment would sting. If there's one thing we tend to know about our friends, it's what their buttons are, and sometimes when we're mad or feeling bitchy or whatever, it's tempting to just use that. I'm no angel, I've done that before, but then I've immediately regretted it. I was playing cards with some friends the other day, one of whom had recently been burglarized (people broke into his house and stole a bunch of his shit) and he made some play in Hearts, deliberately gave me the queen of spades, or something, and laughed about it meanly. And I made some cutting remark about how he'd better watch it or I'd break into his house again or something.

    I felt like a jackass immediately afterwards; I was mad, but it was a game of cards, and my comment was completely uncalled-for. I apologized about it after the game was over.

    I'd say your friend's crime isn't so much the "At least I'm thin" remark, but that he didn't apologize for it, and told you you were being hypersensitive. He knew that would push your button, and when you called him on it, he was being defensive. He knows you weren't being overly sensitive, he got the reaction he was looking for. If he won't admit it was his mistake and apologize sincerely, that's just immature.
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    Jul 23, 2007 8:51 AM GMT
    Thanks for the replies.

    There definitely is some kind of insecurity at work here. I do see a pattern that when I start getting in good shape, or things are going well in my life, or I'm overtly happy, certain people seem to put me down. I'm not much of one to do that to others. It's good I'm learning to be assertive when these people show up.

    You know, it's not so much what they say to me at that moment, but the self-doubt that ends up rearing its ugly head afterwards. Today, after the incident last night, I was so very self-conscious and feeling down on myself. If you'd told me I was looking good today, I would have thought you a liar. I suppose that's what bothers me so much about it...I could give a shit less what he thinks...but it triggers this doubt thing I can't seem to arrest immediately.

    So, as a result, today was a "bump" in the road. My nutrition schedule sucked badly...and I didn't get the exercise I needed. I hate when people say shit like that because it causes these bumps and I don't have time for it. I gotta get back on the horse...my birthday goal has to be reached in less than two weeks.

    It's a bit better, though. At least I see it for what it is now...but damn, the idea that it will never end? That sucks. It's nice having a place to talk about it, like RealJock. I have to admit...I've been coming on here more lately for support, and it's nice. A different group than what you find out there.

    J
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    Jul 23, 2007 11:39 PM GMT
    I sometimes feel the need to surround myself with positive people.

    If that means cutting ties with negative engery, than maybe it's for the best.

    Words are a very strong weapon, and some people find it hard to block them from their heads. Don't take it too hard, but take it as your motivation to drive your ambition.

    I TOTALLY understand the phases you are experiencing because your story rings all too familiar.

    Hang it there, it gets tougher!!