Finally came out to my grandmother today

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    Nov 06, 2011 8:45 PM GMT
    So, I went over to my grandmother's house today... I picked up some food on the way over, and then we sat down and had lunch together, which was good. After lunch, we sat on the couch, and she started talking about the family and all the grandchildren getting married and having kids (I am the last unattached grandchild on that side of the family). Then, she says to me, "I really hope I live to see you find a new girl. When are you going to get a girlfriend?" These two comments, finally just made me come out with it, and I said "I'm not attracted to women, I'm more attacted to men". She then says to me, "So you like members of the same sex eh?" I said "Yes". Then she says, "Well, I've kind of always suspected it... were you worried about telling me?" I said "Yes, absolutely". She said, "what difference would it make you are still the same person, for a woman of my age (she's in her 90s), I would say I have very liberal ideas about the world. It is 2011, and if you can't be who you are today, then there is seriously something wrong with the world. Surrogacy has come a long way, so you'll still have kids, and the nice is that I still love you just the same as I did before, and I still want you to come by whenever." She then proceeded to ask me how long I knew, and she said she understood why it took me so long to come to terms with myself. It just shocked me because, I was not expected a 90-something year old, British Immigrant who grew in an ultra conservative family to be so accepting. So it makes me hopeful the other people in my life who don't know will be just as accepting. Anyways, that is my rant!

    One more thing that shocked me was she said "when you find the right guy, bring him around and we can all have tea together!!!!!!" WHAT THE HELL???!!!!!!!!!
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Nov 06, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    Good for you man. What a great story! It warms my heart.

    I've only told my immediate family I'm gay and everyone seems to agree that my nan doesn't need to know because she's so old and might not understand.

    Your story blows that theory out of the water!
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    Nov 06, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    Thank you for sharing that man... I still have to tell my grandfather. I hope it goes as well as it did for you!
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    Nov 06, 2011 9:40 PM GMT
    gym_business saidOne more thing that shocked me was she said "when you find the right guy, bring him around and we can all have tea together!!!!!!" WHAT THE HELL???!!!!!!!!!

    Lucky for you in Canada! If you lived in a US Southern State, granny would take out a shotgun and shoot you both! And the courts would acquit her!
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    Nov 06, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    sbwlguy saidGood for you man. What a great story! It warms my heart.

    I've only told my immediate family I'm gay and everyone seems to agree that my nan doesn't need to know because she's so old and might not understand.

    Your story blows that theory out of the water!


    My parents both told me not to saying to her because he's in her 90s, but I would seriously regret it, if I never was truly honest about who I was to her.
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    Nov 06, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    In my experience, folks in their 80's+ tend to be the most accepting...probably because they've already lived long enough to see a bunch of crazy shit, and realize that being gay is nothing compared to the other shit they've seen.

    PS. Congrats! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 06, 2011 11:04 PM GMT
    Your grandma's awesome icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 06, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    I laughed out loud when I heard this adorable story!! It is precious! Your grandma sounds like a real character. Stay close to her and enjoy her for the years you have her. Enrich her life and let her enrich yours!
  • matt13226

    Posts: 829

    Nov 10, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    congrats bro
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    I wish I couldve told nana... but I don't think she would've understood... (dementia)
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    Yay Gramma! Mine was the same way when I told her last Xmas. Shes Roman Catholic, and Welsh born and raised so I was worried. Especially since my Grandpa died less than a year before then. She told me she just wanted me to be happy and find someone who treated me like I deserved to be treated. And she said my Grandpa would have been just fine with it too, which was nice to know, since I had to "tell" him at his viewing. I'll always regret that. Congrats man, I bet its a bit of a weight off your shoulders.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    lovely story, lucky you. will come out to my grandmother soon, hope things go well.
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Nov 10, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIn my experience, folks in their 80's+ tend to be the most accepting...probably because they've already lived long enough to see a bunch of crazy shit, and realize that being gay is nothing compared to the other shit they've seen.

    PS. Congrats! icon_biggrin.gif


    I think this is right on.
    After you've seen many of the horrors that life can throw at you (wars, your family members dying, etc.) who's gay and who's straight doesn't seem like such a big deal. The old-timers could teach some of the middle-aged fundie haters a thing or two.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    aww maaan ... gz ... i envy u haha ;)
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    A very touching story! I'm glad that she's very accepting.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    You have a wonderful grand mother and I so happy to see such love between the two of you.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    gym_business saidSo, I went over to my grandmother's house today... I picked up some food on the way over, and then we sat down and had lunch together, which was good. After lunch, we sat on the couch, and she started talking about the family and all the grandchildren getting married and having kids (I am the last unattached grandchild on that side of the family). Then, she says to me, "I really hope I live to see you find a new girl. When are you going to get a girlfriend?" These two comments, finally just made me come out with it, and I said "I'm not attracted to women, I'm more attacted to men". She then says to me, "So you like members of the same sex eh?" I said "Yes". Then she says, "Well, I've kind of always suspected it... were you worried about telling me?" I said "Yes, absolutely". She said, "what difference would it make you are still the same person, for a woman of my age (she's in her 90s), I would say I have very liberal ideas about the world. It is 2011, and if you can't be who you are today, then there is seriously something wrong with the world. Surrogacy has come a long way, so you'll still have kids, and the nice is that I still love you just the same as I did before, and I still want you to come by whenever." She then proceeded to ask me how long I knew, and she said she understood why it took me so long to come to terms with myself. It just shocked me because, I was not expected a 90-something year old, British Immigrant who grew in an ultra conservative family to be so accepting. So it makes me hopeful the other people in my life who don't know will be just as accepting. Anyways, that is my rant!

    One more thing that shocked me was she said "when you find the right guy, bring him around and we can all have tea together!!!!!!" WHAT THE HELL???!!!!!!!!!



    niceicon_wink.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    My Nanna at age 90 was telling all of my family members, from parents, siblings, aunts, uncles etc, what an amazing couple my bf and I made. Going on to say we were her favourite. Thing is, we weren't out to anyone so she pretty much outed us.icon_smile.gif My sister called to ask after a visit. It was awesome... took off any pressure to have to tell anyone. For that we will always be grateful!

    Sadly she passed away a couple years ago at the age of 94 ago and we miss her all the time! icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    I liked your story about how your told your grandmother - who is in her 90's. Enjoy her as often as you can, and someday you'll have great memories of all those fun visits, which will cause you to smile as you get older and think back.

    I grew up being raised by my grandparents, and when I told them about my sexuality and they took it beautifully. They were formal conservative perfectionists, but they were also very well educated, thinking people, who traveled the world all their lives. They embraced my sexuality - just so long as I behaved myself and studied / worked very hard. What helped me also were the gay people they knew socially, especially a male couple who were in their 70's - very debonair and popular party givers in SF. When I told my grandparents my news, they were a little surprised, since they'd seen me with women. They soon were happy with my boyfriends - as long as they were bright, well spoken, educated, well dressed & well mannered. I got to have my grandparents in my life all the way up until about ten years ago.

    I'm glad your grandmother is on board with your news. Congrats for having such a great relationship with her.

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    Nov 10, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    Congratulations Man! You are an inspiration to all of us who CAN'T come out to our families. May YOU find the MAN of your dreams and have that tea party with Grandma. Thanks for sharing.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Nov 10, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    That's an awesome story and go grandma! It reminds me a little bit of my mom. She passed away a few months ago, in her mid 80's, after suffering with Alzheimer's for several years. I came out to her years ago when I was in college, but one day a few years ago, I reminded her it was my brother's anniversary and asked her if she wanted to call him. Out of the blue she instead asked me when I was going to get married and I told her, "when gay marriage becomes a reality in South Carolina". She was like, "why would you need a gay marriage"? I was like, don't tell me she forgot I'm gay and she had. I had to keep coming out to her over and over again. Sometimes you have to find humor in a bad situation.
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    Nov 10, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Good for you! You have just made the bond between you and your grandmother even stronger. icon_smile.gif

    God bless grandmothers. There is something deeply special about grandmothers and their place in the family.

    I am occasionallypleasantly reminded that so many older (grandmother age) people are surprisingly more accepting of gays than would be expected.


    So beautiful.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 10, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    I am convinced that grandmothers are a special gift. Yours is a great example. Visit her often. It will be precious to both of you.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 10, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    Granny Rocks; Can I join you for Tea?
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    Nov 10, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    Give your Grandma a warm hug and a kiss.

    She sounds wonderful. icon_biggrin.gif