13 year age gap

  • realdeal86

    Posts: 47

    Nov 07, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    Hey guys, I'm lookin for some insight from anyone who is or has been in a relationship with an age gap of 10 years or more about. Not looking for a "should I, shouldn't I" just looking for any words of wisdom from anyone whose been in that type of relationship.

    All the guys I've dated up to this point have been around my age and they have all seemed immature, unfocused and seemed to have no goals or direction in life. I know all guys around my age aren't like that, I've just had bad luck. The past week this guy 13 years my senior has been chatting me up, he seems like a great guy, overall I'm very impressed with him. Other then age, at this point we seem to have a ton in common, I am financially sound and can take care of myself so It's not like I'm looking for a sugar daddy. I'm definitely giving him a shot, no question. This would just be a first for me, just curious what RJs who have been there have to say. Would love to hear from somebody who has been in a LTR like this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    My boyfriend is 30 years older.

    I have always been into older guys (though he is my oldest) because they're more accepting of certain aspects of my personality than guys my age are. They're also generally not as stupid, drunk, slutty, or annoying. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of stupid drunk slutty annoying oldfags, but there's more stupid drunk slutty annoying youngfags.
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Nov 07, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    my boyfie is 15 years my senior, at 35.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Nov 07, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    I think it depends on the situation and the guy involved. Sometimes two people like one another and get along, if that's the case go for it. But you do have to watch out for the type of older guy who only dates younger men, you don't want to end up with somebody who likes the thrill of being with a young guy more than he actually like you as a person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    My first "husband" (deceased) was 12 years older than me. My second (amicably split) was 14 years older than me. The man I ended up with is 7 years younger than me. The numbers are irrelevant. It is about life experiences and common ground and chemistry.

    Every relationship will have issues. Birth certificates should not be among them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 8:03 PM GMT
    For me, the age gap with a 13 year-old would only be 9 years...

    But you older guys, it would be much more...



    I wouldn't condone it in either case. What a sick concept. I'm ashamed you even made this thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    What about the age gap as one ages? A 25 & 38 year are both in the prime of thier lives, and capable of maintaining the same levels of activities. The gap would seem more pronouced at say 47 & 60. if one is thinking long term, should that be a consideration? (don't mean to usurp this op's thread).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 10:58 PM GMT
    I've dated a guy 13 years older than me... and he was incredibly immature.

    Age isn't the real factor here. Personality and maturity are.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 07, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    TriAthInCA saidWhat about the age gap as one ages? A 25 & 38 year are both in the prime of their lives, and capable of maintaining the same levels of activities. The gap would seem more pronounced at say 47 & 60. if one is thinking long term, should that be a consideration?


    For any relationship with an age gap, it all depends on the personalities and desires of the individuals. I have a friend who is 80, who has a relationship with his lover who is about 30 years younger. They have been together for about 30 years, since the younger one was about 20. From what I can see, they still have an active sex life, and are happy together. The younger one has lots of friends his own age. My 80 year old friend has a much younger outlook on life than most guys his age. My own partner is 10 years younger than me, and says that I act like I am younger than him.

    à chacun son goût
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2011 11:12 PM GMT
    Cash saidMy first "husband" (deceased) was 12 years older than me. My second (amicably split) was 14 years older than me. The man I ended up with is 7 years younger than me. The numbers are irrelevant. It is about life experiences and common ground and chemistry.

    Every relationship will have issues. Birth certificates should not be among them.


    This.

    TriAthInCA saidWhat about the age gap as one ages? A 25 & 38 year are both in the prime of thier lives, and capable of maintaining the same levels of activities. The gap would seem more pronouced at say 47 & 60. if one is thinking long term, should that be a consideration? (don't mean to usurp this op's thread).


    In this, you're only quoting "average" and "typical", which like all statistical averages, is only meaningful when talking about the population as a whole. When talking about an individual person's readiness for a relationship (or an individual house's value, or an individual's job prospects, etc.), the only thing that is meaningful are the factors specific to that particular data point -- the average is meaningless.

    There are guys who are 70 years old and conform to the "average" 70 year old. There are other 70 year olds who are outliers and are healthier than a 40 year old and are swimming the English Channel (I've known one of these data points). Let's not confuse single data point analysis with true, but ultimately meaningless, statistics about a large population.

    I speak from some experience on this. My (only) two relationships were with a guy 20 years younger than me and another 26 years younger. In both cases, the physical age wasn't really the issue at all in why they both ended. Part of that is because I don't really conform to the "average" 51 year old, and neither did my partners conform to the "average" behavior for their ages either. In both cases, we rather comfortably met somewhere in the middle of both of our respective ages.

    But regardless of the reasons that a relationship might end (which is all these threads on age difference seem to be about -- predicting how and when they might end), let's not forget that until that day comes, there's a lot of value in two people relating to each other in an intimate way. My two relationships ended, sure, but they were both amazing and wonderful and I'm extremely lucky and grateful to have experienced them.

    So I say fuck the age difference and anyone whose advice is all about how your new relationship will end. Listen to those who tell you how to make a relationship last. In all cases, the answer is relatively simple. Just keep talking to each other.

    Good luck. In my view, it's almost always worth trying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 17, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    I'm 30 and my boyfriend is 41. We've been together for a year and two months. It's funny because I never thought I'd date a guy so much older than me and end up in a LTR with him, but we clicked from the beginning and have been together ever since. The relationship is not perfect, but he and I continue to learn things from each other. Our sex life is awesome. Interestingly, my last boyfriend who was just two years younger than me did not connect with me well on a sexual level at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 17, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    My bf is 13 1/2 years younger than me. We've been together five-plus years now. It's been great. Don't even thing about the age gap. It's never been an issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 17, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier saidFor me, the age gap with a 13 year-old would only be 9 years...

    But you older guys, it would be much more...



    I wouldn't condone it in either case. What a sick concept. I'm ashamed you even made this thread.


    Someone needs to take a reading comprehension test and possibly repeat several lessons in their english book.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 17, 2011 7:45 AM GMT
    If you think it's a problem, it is.

    I had to read your message just to make sure that the guy you were dating is 13 years older than you, otherwise I would not be telling you to follow your heart.

    Some people might give you two weird looks or make comments, but if it's not a problem with you then have fun.
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Nov 17, 2011 8:23 AM GMT
    Age is just a number. Who cares about the age difference? If you're attracted to someone, then who cares what other people think. If you're hot, then you're hot. Age doesn't define one's sexiness or desirability, muscles do! LOL... Just kidding. Well, to some it may.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 17, 2011 8:34 AM GMT
    KyleAD said
    ThePenIsMyTier saidFor me, the age gap with a 13 year-old would only be 9 years...

    But you older guys, it would be much more...



    I wouldn't condone it in either case. What a sick concept. I'm ashamed you even made this thread.


    Someone needs to take a reading comprehension test and possibly repeat several lessons in their english book.




    yup