Cheating, being a douche, or innocent of any wrong doing?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 07, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    I heard this discussion on the radio today about a this couple that broke up around noon (the time is important) and he ended up sleeping with someone around 12:30 that same day. Later that day the couple reconciled. Question is:

    Did he cheat because he slept with someone 30 minutes after they broke up?

    Was he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up?

    Did he do anything wrong as they were broken up?

    Curious to hear the responses!
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    Nov 07, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    rugbyguyfl saidI heard this discussion on the radio today about a this couple that broke up around noon (the time is important) and he ended up sleeping with someone around 12:30 that same day. Later that day the couple reconciled. Question is:

    Did he cheat because he slept with someone 30 minutes after they broke up?

    Was he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up?

    Did he do anything wrong as they were broken up?

    Curious to hear the responses!


    I would go with douche. He either a.) had a Plan B already lined up and thus was probably cheating already, or b.) was unfeeling enough about the person he was with that he was ready for a no-strings hookup half an hour after what would be for most people an emotionally taxing event, or c.) both.

    Of course if we knew how serious of a relationship this was to begin with, it might temper my response somewhat.
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    Nov 07, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    I don't get it who does that! I have one question did he come clean about tha hook-up? If so when that would be very telling to me and it would determine for me if we would stay a couple, if it was me. I would be like how could you hook-up with someone so soon after the split...icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
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    Nov 07, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
    Douche. And what about the other person? He/she is an idiot! Sounds like they deserve each other.
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    Nov 07, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    douche
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    Nov 07, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    Uber-douche.

    The hookup thirty minutes later wasn't the first time. Won't be the last either.
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    Nov 07, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    rugbyguyfl saidI heard this discussion on the radio today about a this couple that broke up around noon (the time is important) and he ended up sleeping with someone around 12:30 that same day. Later that day the couple reconciled. Question is:

    Did he cheat because he slept with someone 30 minutes after they broke up?

    Was he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up?

    Did he do anything wrong as they were broken up?

    Curious to hear the responses!


    Did nothing wrong. They were broken up
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    Nov 07, 2011 9:47 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    rugbyguyfl saidI heard this discussion on the radio today about a this couple that broke up around noon (the time is important) and he ended up sleeping with someone around 12:30 that same day. Later that day the couple reconciled. Question is:

    Did he cheat because he slept with someone 30 minutes after they broke up?

    Was he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up?

    Did he do anything wrong as they were broken up?

    Curious to hear the responses!


    Did nothing wrong. They were broken up


    Sadly, so many people see it this way.

    They clearly had a little fight "broken up" obviously meant nothing to them...
    He had this shit lined up, and it will happen when they are "together", if that means anything to them either.
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    Nov 07, 2011 9:48 PM GMT
    tahoebackpacker saidDouche. And what about the other person? He/she is an idiot! Sounds like they deserve each other.

    This.
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    Nov 07, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    Wasn't this a plot line on Friends, one of the worse shows ever?
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    Nov 07, 2011 10:01 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidWasn't this a plot line on Friends, one of the worse shows ever?


    Yes. "But we were on a break!!!!"

    My opinion: It depends on how committed of a couple they were and whether "broken up" really meant "broken up" or whether they often "break up" when they fight, only go "get back together" 10 minutes later.

    If they were really a broken up, expecially if the "cheated on" person was agreeable to the "break up," I think that he ought to give it a rest if he really wants the relationship to survive.
  • BCSwimmer

    Posts: 209

    Nov 07, 2011 10:21 PM GMT
    rugbyguyfl saidQuestion is:

    Did he cheat because he slept with someone 30 minutes after they broke up?


    No, by definition if they are legitimately broken up then he didn't "cheat".

    rugbyguyfl said
    Was he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up?


    Yes, I would say that is pretty douchebag-gy

    That being said what is the appropriate time to wait after breaking up? One week; One month; One year; does it depend on the length of the relationship? One week for every year we were together???

    The general consensus is that 30 minutes is douche-baggy - I am curious what length of time, people who feel that way would say, is an acceptable wait???

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    Nov 07, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    Douche... The level of douchiness depends on the seriousness of the relationship.

    I don't think it's necessarily a douche move to have someone on backup. The nature of having gay friends I think automatically creates a catalog of possible backups. I know I have friends who will happily be my rebound in the event of a breakup. That's why, when my last boyfriend and I broke up I specifically avoided going over to a certain friend's house to "talk about it" or whatever.

    But that's the thing... An immediate rebound is only heartless if your heart was in the original relationship. I think most of us can think of someone who would be a good rebound if - Heaven forbid - a breakup happened.
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 07, 2011 10:58 PM GMT
    He acted/reacted on complex emotions of rejection.

    Some of us turn to ice cream, he turned to sex to 'verify' that he still had 'it' - it being whatever he felt he had to attract the person who dumped him.

    Males are prone to show their emotions by overly expressing other emotions. Such as fear being reinterpreted in anger, sadness being reinterpreted in near manic laughter/joking.

    Assuming he found this other person in 30 minutes (If gay, then most likely he found somebody new in minutes), then is actions were most likely deeply tied into attempting to over compensate for the emotions that the break up caused him.

    If he had that person sitting in the wings, then yes it is cheating and hes he is a douche. He already premeditated the act, and most likely used the break up as an excuse to do what he did, most likely knowing full well that this wasn't really a break-up

  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Nov 07, 2011 11:02 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidDouche... The level of douchiness depends on the seriousness of the relationship.


    This, but...

    I know a few guys who've had spite-flings immediately after a breakup or big fight. It's still douchey, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as having everything planned out ahead of time.
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    Nov 08, 2011 6:42 PM GMT
    My next question would be...because they were technicially broken up, does he have a right to tell the other person what he did? I wouldn't think so unless the other person asked.
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    Nov 08, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    he a douchebag for sleeping with someone so quickly after breaking up
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    Nov 08, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    rugbyguyfl saidMy next question would be...because they were technicially broken up, does he have a right to tell the other person what he did? I wouldn't think so unless the other person asked.


    I think he has a practical obligation to do so. The other person should be able to make an informed choice whether to have sex with him again and what precautions to take. That has nothing to do with their emotional relationship; the douche now has a "prior partner". Regardless of how "safe" the sex was, there is still an inherent risk.
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    Nov 08, 2011 7:18 PM GMT
    njmeanwhile said
    rugbyguyfl saidMy next question would be...because they were technicially broken up, does he have a right to tell the other person what he did? I wouldn't think so unless the other person asked.


    I think he has a practical obligation to do so. The other person should be able to make an informed choice whether to have sex with him again and what precautions to take. That has nothing to do with their emotional relationship; the douche now has a "prior partner". Regardless of how "safe" the sex was, there is still an inherent risk.


    Good Point!
  • Latenight30

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    Nov 08, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Douche and he cheated.
    Time apart, is not usually a one time thing, he had this lined up.
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    Nov 09, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    A bit of a douche but out of hurt. At very best he may have slept with someone else because he wanted to spite his ex but that confirms my point really- he'd have used the guy he slept with and added more issues to the he'd obviosuly have some feelings about 30 minutes in.
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    Nov 09, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I feel more information is needed such as how long were they together before they broke up, where they living together, who was it that the slept with 30 mins after the break up? EIther way I do think he was probably a douche but I would like to know other contributing fatcors that may have lead to the sex. I know that after a brake up it takes a lot longer than 30 mins for me to jump back on the wagon but maybe thats just me