Entering a new chapter.

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    Nov 08, 2011 8:58 AM GMT
    Well I finally faced myself, It was a long time coming, but I finally faced myself. I am gay. I can accept it. I can be it. In fact theres nothing else that I can or want to be. For the 1st time since I can remember I feel completely honest. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I have just ended a 9 year marriage. I love my wife dearly. I love her enough to respect that she should be with someone who wants her 100%. Someone who is sexually attracted to her, and doesnt have to get ridiculously drunk to get things done in the bedroom. It wasnt always this way, but became progressively more so as I started to explore who I am. We are the best of friends, and luckily are not scrapping that friendship. She understands that this is not a "choice", but a matter of self identity, and for that I am grateful. I have a few friends that have been nothing but supportive, and amazing during all of this; some damn good friends, and I look forward to my new life.....my new chapter.
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    Nov 08, 2011 8:59 AM GMT
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    Nov 08, 2011 11:13 AM GMT
    I am in the same situation mate... kind of.
    I grew up in Soviet Union, where homosexuality was punishable by law.
    Hence when I started being attracted to men, I was convinced that I had a perversion, that I must kept secret.
    I was brought up to be straight.
    When I got married, I thought I was bi, but can't be married to both sexes, so tough!
    I got on with my life.
    Now after 19 years of marriage, I accepted to myself, that I am not bi or pervert... I am bloody gay!
    The thing is... I still love my wife dearly and my 2 sons.
    Though now our sex life is absolutely non-existant!
    I never met anyone, who was still in love with their wife, but got the courage to come out.
    You are the first one I heard of...
    It sounds like it turned out alright for you.
    I am just worried that I will destroy their life and would not be able to support them.
    Don't know what is the right thing to do, but I'm on the verge of coming out!
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    Nov 09, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    I had to come out for my own sanity. I was tired of being 2 different people. The one in my head, and the one others see. It cant last forever and the longer it goes, the harder it is. I got some great advice from guys on here that helped me thru the hard times. This was a while ago under a different screenname. I cant say it was easy, but I am the happiest ive been since I can remember.
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    Nov 09, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    gemini503 saidWell I finally faced myself, It was a long time coming, but I finally faced myself. I am gay. I can accept it. I can be it. In fact theres nothing else that I can or want to be. For the 1st time since I can remember I feel completely honest. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I have just ended a 9 year marriage. I love my wife dearly. I love her enough to respect that she should be with someone who wants her 100%. Someone who is sexually attracted to her, and doesnt have to get ridiculously drunk to get things done in the bedroom. It wasnt always this way, but became progressively more so as I started to explore who I am. We are the best of friends, and luckily are not scrapping that friendship. She understands that this is not a "choice", but a matter of self identity, and for that I am grateful. I have a few friends that have been nothing but supportive, and amazing during all of this; some damn good friends, and I look forward to my new life.....my new chapter.


    What a beautiful story...thanks for sharing. Very proud of you...be happy.
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    Nov 09, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Congratulations and here's wishing you the best of everything as you move into your new life. Glad to hear you're feeling better about the direction your life is headed. Lots of living to catch up on. It just gets better & better.

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    Nov 09, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    gemini503 saidWell I finally faced myself, It was a long time coming, but I finally faced myself. I am gay. I can accept it. I can be it. In fact theres nothing else that I can or want to be. For the 1st time since I can remember I feel completely honest. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I have just ended a 9 year marriage. I love my wife dearly. I love her enough to respect that she should be with someone who wants her 100%. Someone who is sexually attracted to her, and doesnt have to get ridiculously drunk to get things done in the bedroom. It wasnt always this way, but became progressively more so as I started to explore who I am. We are the best of friends, and luckily are not scrapping that friendship. She understands that this is not a "choice", but a matter of self identity, and for that I am grateful. I have a few friends that have been nothing but supportive, and amazing during all of this; some damn good friends, and I look forward to my new life.....my new chapter.

    Very inspiring and moving story, bud. I'm sure the transition into your new life ain't gonna be easy. But rest assured that the secret to happiness is to be true to oneself. And that's exactly what you're doing right now. You're most definitely on the right track. You're a brave man and I commend you for your courage. Feel free to reach out to your fellow RJ'ers anytime you need a friend to talk to. I for one will be honored to hear you out.
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    Thanx guys. The thing that i love the most about this community is that there are more decent and genuine people here than any other site I've ever been on. I had been here previously under a different screenname, and made a lot of good friends. I've got a lot of catching up to do here. Ive never had to actually date before either, so Any advice is much appreciated!
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Nov 09, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    gemini503 saidWell I finally faced myself, It was a long time coming, but I finally faced myself. I am gay. I can accept it. I can be it. In fact theres nothing else that I can or want to be. For the 1st time since I can remember I feel completely honest. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I have just ended a 9 year marriage. I love my wife dearly. I love her enough to respect that she should be with someone who wants her 100%. Someone who is sexually attracted to her, and doesnt have to get ridiculously drunk to get things done in the bedroom. It wasnt always this way, but became progressively more so as I started to explore who I am. We are the best of friends, and luckily are not scrapping that friendship. She understands that this is not a "choice", but a matter of self identity, and for that I am grateful. I have a few friends that have been nothing but supportive, and amazing during all of this; some damn good friends, and I look forward to my new life.....my new chapter.
    that is good for you buddy. i am glad you two could come to a understanding. welcome to the family. ha ha ha
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    Totally understand. Standing on the edge but still can't seem to jump...
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    Wannabe saidTotally understand. Standing on the edge but still can't seem to jump...
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    Nov 09, 2011 4:00 PM GMT
    Anduru said
    Wannabe saidTotally understand. Standing on the edge but still can't seem to jump...


    Oh my... =]..

    Btw, i hope it will be a whole damn great new chapter for you ^_____^
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    Nov 09, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    Congratulations brother. You are living your truth with honour. May many blessings come your way.
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    Nov 09, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    gemini503 saidWell I finally faced myself, It was a long time coming, but I finally faced myself. I am gay. I can accept it. I can be it. In fact theres nothing else that I can or want to be. For the 1st time since I can remember I feel completely honest. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I have just ended a 9 year marriage. I love my wife dearly. I love her enough to respect that she should be with someone who wants her 100%. Someone who is sexually attracted to her, and doesnt have to get ridiculously drunk to get things done in the bedroom. It wasnt always this way, but became progressively more so as I started to explore who I am. We are the best of friends, and luckily are not scrapping that friendship. She understands that this is not a "choice", but a matter of self identity, and for that I am grateful. I have a few friends that have been nothing but supportive, and amazing during all of this; some damn good friends, and I look forward to my new life.....my new chapter.


    Echoing the congratulations.
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    Nov 09, 2011 4:20 PM GMT
    Hey man, congratulations, that's great news. Glad to hear that everything is going so well for you. The only advice I'd give you is to take it all slowly and be responsible and careful. You said you've got "a lot of catching up to do." Not totally sure what that means to you but there's no rush. Good luck man and keep us posted.
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    Nov 09, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    gemini503 saidThanx guys. The thing that i love the most about this community is that there are more decent and genuine people here than any other site I've ever been on. I had been here previously under a different screenname, and made a lot of good friends. I've got a lot of catching up to do here. Ive never had to actually date before either, so Any advice is much appreciated!

    Congrats! Several of us here have been through this same life saga as you. You have nothing to fear.

    When I first came out, very suddenly, I was warned that I was going too fast, I'd have all kinds of remorse, regrets and relapses, might even become suicidal. NONSENSE!

    I've never been happier. If there's any regrets it's about how damn long it took, how stupid I was, and the mistakes I made trying to convince myself I was straight.

    You're gonna love being gay! The happiest people are those who live the sexual orientation into which they were born. And as for gay dating, sometimes the late bloomers do the best, because we bring more common-sense life skills & experiences to the party. Vote us least likely to be conned & misled, exploited & hurt, our judgment of others more highly attuned.

    You just gotta learn some of the routines & rituals unique to gay society, and you'll pick them right up. What I did for my first few months was virtually nothing, except to go to gay clubs, be quiet & observe. I had a few encounters but they were almost accidental, not deliberate on my part. I had a plan, and first it was to educate myself, including online and reading books and gay periodicals, before trying my wings. Worked like a charm, and it will for you, too. icon_biggrin.gif
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Nov 09, 2011 5:38 PM GMT
    Congratulations on overcoming the largest hurdle in your life. I'm sorry you obviously had to go through the hardships you did, but that is part of the self learning process of life. There will be just as many challenges ahead and I'm sure you'll be able to overcome them with no problem at all =)

    Here's to hoping you find that special someone~
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    Nov 09, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    Thx guys. Going out for the first time in years this fri. Its some club downtown havin an 11-11-11 party. Supposed to be a pretty varied crowd there. Lookin forward to cuttin loose and meeting some new people.
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    Nov 14, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    I hope you had a great time.
    Did you manage to have some fun afterwards as well? *wink, wink*
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    Nov 14, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    congratulations man. Welcome!
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    Nov 14, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    nottsguy33 saidI hope you had a great time.
    Did you manage to have some fun afterwards as well? *wink, wink*


    had a great time. Didnt meet anyone new... But partied till 5am and surprised i still can hang that late! Lol