believe in relationships and love?

  • Marynyca

    Posts: 9

    Nov 08, 2011 4:48 PM GMT
    believe in relationships and love?
    there such a thing?
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 08, 2011 5:39 PM GMT
    Yes it happens - a lot.

    However most love relationships are victims of the fairy-tale romance.

    One of the most terrible myths we have in our society (both gay and straight) is that love has to be hot and passionate all the time, once love starts to cool and move into other stages, people feel love is lost and they give up and move on, always in search of the impossible.

    http://l-pawlik-kienlen.suite101.com/love-love-me-do-a12516 is one such site on the subject, there are many others:

    http://www.ask.com/web?q=stages+of+love&search=&qsrc=0&o=0&l=dir

    Another love killers is that couples, people, don't really know how to communicate. Everyone knows how to talk, few of us know how to talk about that which is really important.

    We humans have deluded ourselves into thinking we are wolves, that we meet a mate and are bonded automatically for live. The reality is that we humans are naturally serial monogamists, designed for 'shorter term' relationships of temporary monogamy. We are able to have long term monogamy, we are able to reason and think and make long term goals, however few of us understand that that requires a bit of work and we have not been trained in how to deal with our yearnings and desires to 'move on'.

    So yes, love and relationships is possible, even for the gay community who has been brainwashed into thinking that men can't really love each other.

    It requires work and some education that our society fails miserably to provide.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 5:10 PM GMT
    Both

    perfect love, perfect relationship = perfect relationship , perfect love
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 5:15 PM GMT
    Bowyn, perhaps an example of a 'fairy tale romance' would make things a little clearer?

    "However most love relationships are victims of the fairy-tale romance. "


  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 11, 2011 5:51 PM GMT
    meninlove said Bowyn, perhaps an example of a 'fairy tale romance' would make things a little clearer?

    "However most love relationships are victims of the fairy-tale romance. "




    Two people meet, fall madly in love and everything just works out... they live happily ever after.

    Few people understand that healthy relationships need work, many operate under the assumption that if the love is 'right' it all works out.

    Few people are actually taught how to communicate, most of us talk, sure, but we do not articulate our feelings. Males are even more especially prone to not communicating since most of us are still raised to believe that 'emotions' are 'bad' and men don't talk about those.

    People also have no idea that there are stages of love. Most assume that that hot, passionate love early on in a relationship is 'real' love and that when it cools becoming deeper and less 'needy' that somehow love has been lost.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 8:27 PM GMT
    My partner and I have our 25th anniversary coming up next month and Incan say this is right on point. Relationships are a lot of work, but the rewards of spending your life intimately bonded to someone can be incredible.

    People and relationships change over time. If you don't leave room to adjust, the relationship can suffer greatly.

    Bowyn_Aerrow said
    meninlove said Bowyn, perhaps an example of a 'fairy tale romance' would make things a little clearer?

    "However most love relationships are victims of the fairy-tale romance. "




    Two people meet, fall madly in love and everything just works out... they live happily ever after.

    Few people understand that healthy relationships need work, many operate under the assumption that if the love is 'right' it all works out.

    Few people are actually taught how to communicate, most of us talk, sure, but we do not articulate our feelings. Males are even more especially prone to not communicating since most of us are still raised to believe that 'emotions' are 'bad' and men don't talk about those.

    People also have no idea that there are stages of love. Most assume that that hot, passionate love early on in a relationship is 'real' love and that when it cools becoming deeper and less 'needy' that somehow love has been lost.
  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 11, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    I think/believe loves a very powerful power...

    I'm a believer, Yes I believe...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 8:40 PM GMT
    Yup
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 8:42 PM GMT
    seems to be a trend with pic-less profiles posting similar threads...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    Hmmm...I was looking for a fairy tale as an example; while there is the odd one where everything is just perfectthroughout the story, there are many fairy tales where romances that work out in the end are fraught with all kinds of life lessons and problems before that happy ending occurs.

    -Doug icon_wink.gif


  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 11, 2011 11:10 PM GMT
    However much I believe in love I'm not sure if I can fall in love with another man, not sure though because I never was in a position to be tried. But I can lust for a mans attention and think I could show a passionate effection for a man whom would show me attention in a sexual way.