What about american behavior?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:17 AM GMT
    I'm coming from France to study at the UCLA. I've been here for 10 months and basically still lost in the culture, ...
    Last weekend I went to a gay bar (my second time in one here!!!) and met a super nice guy. He invited me to go to his place, but I was drunk and also he. I refused the invitation and explained the reason. Then he gave me his phone number and asked me to call him for a dinner. But I didn't call him until today. I'm really scared about if he is bottom, since I'm bottom. I anytime he stayed at my back.
    One of my colleague told me that in the America the top always goes for tale. The bottom are always picked up. Is that true?
    I don't know what to do... I'm sure that I'll be really embarrassed if he tells me he is bottom.
    What would you do in my case?
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:19 AM GMT
    Ask him, top or bottom?
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:32 AM GMT
    Put this handkerchief 3/4 of the way in to your back LEFT jeans pocket, folded in half only ONCE.
    h5581d16a.jpg

    This will tell people that you are a submissive bottom with a delicate touch.

    If you are wearing skinny jeans with this Handkerchief combo, this will tell people that you are French and require extra care....
    Be careful not to EVER wear this one with boot-cut jeans though, just trust me. You do NOT want to attract a dangerous crowd.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    Dinner sounds complicated ne c'est pas
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    Nov 09, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    Double-ended dildo. Problem solved. icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 09, 2011 7:49 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier saidPut this handkerchief 3/4 of the way in to your back LEFT jeans pocket, folded in half only ONCE.
    h5581d16a.jpg

    This will tell people that you are a submissive bottom with a delicate touch.

    If you are wearing skinny jeans with this Handkerchief combo, this will tell people that you are French and require extra care....
    Be careful not to EVER wear this one with boot-cut jeans though, just trust me. You do NOT want to attract a dangerous crowd.


    lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
  • Kjonyou

    Posts: 93

    Nov 09, 2011 10:44 AM GMT
    All kidding aside, you could go to dinner with him and instead of confronting him with the question, you could casually mention that you are a bottom during the conversation like everyone knows that already and see how he reacts.

    If he is a bottom, chances are he will make a similar comment after he hears that or tell you outright how he identifes himself. Or, he may be a bottom but still want to hook up and play top for the night.

    On the other hand, they also say, "two bottoms don't make a top" LOL
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    Nov 09, 2011 11:54 AM GMT
    How do French guys tell one another apart?

    In my experience - and feel free to ignore this bit of mysticism - bottoms tend to psychically sense I'm a top. Tops too for that matter (I hung out with two guys last week who randomly insisted that they were tops... kinda out of the blue). It's probably some kind of personality thing.
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    Nov 09, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    xrichx saidDouble-ended dildo. Problem solved. icon_lol.gif
    Or pickup a top and share him.
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    Nov 09, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    Alansf2001_UCLA saidOne of my colleague told me that in the America the top always goes for tale [sic]. The bottom are always picked up. Is that true?

    I don't know what to do... I'm sure that I'll be really embarrassed if he tells me he is bottom.

    What would you do in my case?

    Not true. I have been picked up by bottoms. Fortunately I'm versatile, so it's not all that important to me.

    I do try to work into the conversation a question about what he likes to do, nevertheless, because it's not all about top or bottom. He may like to do other things that I really do not.

    And in those cases I offer him something else. I'm not embarrassed to tell him that I don't perform certain things, and if that ends the evening, so be it. I like many forms of sex and am willing to be flexible with him to a point, but he must be as well, and meet me half-way. You'll find than many US men are very set in their sexual ways, very rigid & limited to what they will do. That's their problem as I see it, not mine. C'est la vie, je trouvera d'autres.
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    Nov 09, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    I love that your biggest fear is that you're both bottoms.

    Sometimes I feel like that guy in American Beauty staring at plastic bags blowing in the wind when I'm on this site.
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    Nov 09, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    ^ i get picked up by both if I get picked up..... I dont really know how it works if you're one or the other in any country
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    Nov 09, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    iguanaSF saidI love that your biggest fear is that you're both bottoms.

    Sometimes I feel like that guy in American Beauty staring at plastic bags blowing in the wind when I'm on this site.


    There's so much beauty in the world, I can't take it!
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    Nov 09, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    iguanaSF saidI love that your biggest fear is that you're both bottoms.

    Sometimes I feel like that guy in American Beauty staring at plastic bags blowing in the wind when I'm on this site.


    Um, a thing doesn't go in a hole? Is that the worst thing in the world?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    What your colleague told you about tops always picking up bottoms is nonsense.

    Dude, you just need to relax and stop worrying about everything. If it turns out you're both bottoms, you can still have fun together. You're just going a date, not getting married.
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    Nov 09, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    What is MOST surprising about this is that I learned there are tops in France!
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    Nov 09, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidHow do French guys tell one another apart?

    In my experience - and feel free to ignore this bit of mysticism - bottoms tend to psychically sense I'm a top. Tops too for that matter (I hung out with two guys last week who randomly insisted that they were tops... kinda out of the blue). It's probably some kind of personality thing.


    This, 9 times out of 10 I will tell if a guy is a bottom or a top and interested in me.

    The usual signs are-if taller and bigger than me and interested, usually a top.

    If smaller and shorter than me and interested, usually a bottom.

    Problem solved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    Ahem, two bottoms can have very strong chemistry and
    play together sexually. Vive la ressemblance, les amis!
    "Fun". Very possibly an American invention, like "chill".
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    GrowAPair saidWhat is MOST surprising about this is that I learned there are tops in France!


    Hahaha...lol that was a good one.

    The french are lie cats, kinda bitchy and crazy.

    Le Chat horrible!!!! (I don't know how to spell horrible in French)
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Nov 10, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier saidPut this handkerchief 3/4 of the way in to your back LEFT jeans pocket, folded in half only ONCE.
    h5581d16a.jpg

    This will tell people that you are a submissive bottom with a delicate touch.

    If you are wearing skinny jeans with this Handkerchief combo, this will tell people that you are French and require extra care....
    Be careful not to EVER wear this one with boot-cut jeans though, just trust me. You do NOT want to attract a dangerous crowd.


    ^^This is why I love ThePenisMyTier^^

    To the OP my advice would be if your date turns out to be a bottom, try hitting it, you might like it. That might be bad advice, but it's all I've got.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    If you think that's the weirdest part of behavioral patterns in the US you're gonna be in for a shock, especially in LA.

    Don't forget: Californians shave where the French don't icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    None of these people know what they'e talking about...



    Do the Handkerchief thing.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Nov 10, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    Only a few people have given you an honest answer. The top doesn't always pay for the bottom or pick him up. Most just pay their own way.

    If you are worried about his sexual preference, ask him, or casually mention what you like.
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    Nov 11, 2011 7:10 AM GMT
    Tops doing the picking up? That's a blatant lie. Maybe lie is a harsh word... but still!

    I've been "picked up" by bottoms more than tops when I'm at the bar.

    A lot of the guys I perceive as tops tend to just stand in the corner and rub their pecs awkwardly.

    Anyways, what I'm saying, I feel, is moot because I believe no one is a strict top or a strict bottom. You can try to convince me, or anyone else for that matter, all you want, but I will never believe it.
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    Nov 11, 2011 8:13 AM GMT
    nocturnus saidTops doing the picking up? That's a blatant lie. Maybe lie is a harsh word... but still!

    I've been "picked up" by bottoms more than tops when I'm at the bar.

    A lot of the guys I perceive as tops tend to just stand in the corner and rub their pecs awkwardly.

    Anyways, what I'm saying, I feel, is moot because I believe no one is a strict top or a strict bottom. You can try to convince me, or anyone else for that matter, all you want, but I will never believe it.


    YEP, there are!!! I'M ONE STRICT BOTTOM!!! :p