The Gay Hierarchy- Where Do You Belong?

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    Nov 10, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    I found this to be kinda entertaing....I actually found myself trying to see where I am.





    The Gay Hierarchy : A case study by Michael Derouin

    **In the meaning of gay hierarchy, this is towards gay men.



    The bottom level of the “ladder” contains undesirables.

    The “undesirable” gay man contains many different categories. Gay men over 60, overwieght men, very ugly men, men who aren’t kept nice (I.E. Bad hair cut or wearing clothes that don’t fit them). Usual Drink: Whiskey Sour

    The next level in the ladder is the “Newbie” catagory.

    “Newbie” is a term for men who are reasonably young that have just come out of the closet. They are reasonably eager to please and usually going through their slut phase. The slut phase usually lasts about 6 months; The newbie will usually sleep with anyone who shows them any affection or buys them a drink, when the newbie is under drinking age. *Note: Newbies have a tendancy of having their heart broken after the six month phase because most of the time in the gay community Sex=Love. Usual Drink: Anything their sex partner for the night will buy them.

    The next level on the ladder is the boy next door.

    The boy next door is usually moderately good looking, normal body (not overly muscular) and can come in handy when you need help doing something. Usually carrying groceries or mixing cement. Usual Drink: Diet Cola w/ Lime

    The next level is the Flamboyant Gay Male.

    The Flamboyant Gay Male is higher on the ladder because they are higher in numbers. The usual signs of the this type of gay man is usually a high pitched voice, tighter than normal pants, persistent finger snapping, repetitive use of the phrase “Bitch, please” or calling anyone no matter what their gender “Girl”. They tend to be more feminine than most women. Usual Drink: Cosmopolitan

    The following level is that of the Hot Jocks.

    Hot jocks tend to wear their school colors or their favorite teams colors. They also, depending on the sport they play wear a baseball hat with their favorite team’s mascot on it. They don’t like to dance and usually only drink beer because they’ve grown accustomed to beer because of beer busts at college frat parties. Most like to think they are tops (The givers in the sexual relations.) but that’s usually their macho ego’s getting in the way. 9/10 times they are usually a big bossy bottom (The receiver in the sexual relationship). Usual Drink: Miller Lite or Bud Lite

    The next rung in the dysfunctional gay ladder is the twink.

    By definition a twink is a gay man who is usually thin and hairless. They have no real concept of dieting and/or exercise because they’ve always been thin. They tend to be in high demand in some cultures. They are usually wanted by other twinks or older men who are willing to pay for their services. They tend to listen to infectious pop like Britney Spears, Cascada or Justin Timberlake. Usual Drink: Sex on the Beach

    The next to last rung in the ladder is the club/dancing queen.

    Usually if these gays go to a club they will be dancing the entire night. They don’t go to cruise (checking out guys) or to drink a lot of liquor. They are the ones if they are on a water break and Kelly Clarkson’s “Since you been gone” comes on they will run over anyone in the way to get to the floor before the first bit of lyrics comes on so they can act out the lyrics with their god awful dancing. They are also usually thin, they are dancing 5 out of 7 days of the week. Usual Drink: Bottled Water

    The final and highest position of the Gay Hierarchy, is the Power Queer.

    Power Queers tend to know every bouncer at the top clubs so they usually skip the lines and usually don’t pay any cover because they are always on the guest list. They also know (or have blown) every bartender in the joint so they usually get free drinks. They can fuck who they like. They can make fun of who they like. They also have the “designated dance area” ( which is usually the most well lit area or the highest part of the room; if it has a raised dance floor.)Usual Drink: Martini, Flavored Vodka and Cranberry or Pineapple juice.

    There are separate parts of the Hierarchy which are their own collective state.

    Fag Hags:

    Fag Hags are the gay man’s best friend. They are the only women allowed into the hierarchy. It’s a usual ratio if you are going out to have one gay man to every two fag hags. They are the support and conscience for the normal gay man. They have a tendancy to fall in love with their designated homosexual. These women usually went to the prom with said homosexual. More than likely, they were the first girlfriend to said Homosexual. Therefore they have a whole different connection between each other.

    Ex-Boyfriends:

    If the male in the relationship who was dumped is in a lower class than the upper level partner, the laws and rules that covered the lower level partner are null and void. They are to return to their original class and they aren’t allowed to speak to the upper level partner. Only if a conversation is struck by the upper level may the lower level speak to him.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    Dumbest. Thread. Ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    I have no place on this list.

    jpmusmc85Dumbest. Thread. Ever.

    Also this^
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    Where are the transvestites / cross-dressers? They're not (gay) people? This is discrimination.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidDumbest. Thread. Ever.




    Hahahahaha. CUNT.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    Yeah, I don't belong anywhere. I'm a total outcast.

    MXfIU.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    Xhris_19_FL said
    jmusmc85 saidDumbest. Thread. Ever.




    Hahahahaha. CUNT.


    Worst. Comeback. Ever.
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    Nov 10, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Xhris_19_FL said
    jmusmc85 saidDumbest. Thread. Ever.




    Hahahahaha. CUNT.


    Worst. Comeback. Ever.



    Thanx darling. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 6:14 AM GMT
    Bitch please, this gurl would never touch diet cola and lime!

    Like OMG eeew
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 7:05 AM GMT
    Fail to dissect the full gay culture.
    Minus ten cool points.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2011 7:09 AM GMT
    Twink here!!! icon_cool.gif Twinks FTW but I sleep with older men but they've never paid me, icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    Dancing Queen for sure and Twink since im kinda skinny/fem looking.

    I never go to clubs to pull, just to dance for four hours straight !

    I think I need to go out with a Power Queer...........icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 12:27 PM GMT
    Hot jock with MD-Phd?

    I missed that one icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 1:14 PM GMT
    Cityaznguy saidWhere are the transvestites / cross-dressers? They're not (gay) people? This is discrimination.


    Actually, I don't think transvestites and cross-dressers typically are gay people. Aren't they usually straight guys who get something out of being dressed like a woman?
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    Nov 10, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR said
    Cityaznguy saidWhere are the transvestites / cross-dressers? They're not (gay) people? This is discrimination.


    Actually, I don't think transvestites and cross-dressers typically are gay people. Aren't they usually straight guys who get something out of being dressed like a woman?


    icon_lol.gif

    And they enjoy being screwed like a woman (or, a bitch) too; they're just really straight women trapped in "straight" men's bodies. icon_wink.gif

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    Nov 10, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    Oh, good lord. Captures some "types" but not nearly all, and I have no idea how the order came about. I sneer at the shallow "power queers" defined here.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    Under that scale, the category most descriptive of me is "undesirable".

    .... sigh....

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    icon_sad.gif


    icon_cry.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 10, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    As usual, I don't fit in a category and I'm happy with it!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • fitginger

    Posts: 64

    Nov 10, 2011 2:14 PM GMT
    I dont fit in to any of those catergories?

    Did I just become un-gay? Or am I not gay enough to be an offical gay?!

    TAKE AWAY MY GAY CARD NOW!
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Catagorized thinking indecates a simple mind. Categories are easier to understand then the diverse range of abstract, idiosyncratic people, so those who focus on categories aren't allowing the differentials in personalities to uniquely manifest, or simply can't comprehend how to define a person without the parameters fed to the individual by society.

    Some food for thought.
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    Nov 10, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    axbuddy saidCatagorized thinking indecates a simple mind. Categories are easier to understand then the diverse range of abstract, idiosyncratic people, so those who focus on categories aren't allowing the differentials in personalities to uniquely manifest, or simply can't comprehend how to define a person without the parameters fed to the individual by society.

    Some food for thought.



    <3
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Nov 10, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    axbuddy saidCatagorized thinking indecates a simple mind. Categories are easier to understand then the diverse range of abstract, idiosyncratic people, so those who focus on categories aren't allowing the differentials in personalities to uniquely manifest, or simply can't comprehend how to define a person without the parameters fed to the individual by society.

    Some food for thought.


    I don't think categories are bad in and of themselves. We typically use categories to manage and organize large amounts of information. Science, for example, frequently depends on thinking in terms of categories (genus, species, subspecies, etc.). One problem is when the categories stop being used as tools to describe reality and instead become the reality. Another problem is when the categories are just nonsensical shit, like the "hierarchy" laid out here, which makes no sense at all, unless it is "A hierarchy of trashy gay people that I want nothing to do with." Still it's more of a taxonomy than a hierarchy.

    edit/(side note: what's with all the hot Canadians? Yes, axbuddy, I'm talking about you. )
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    Nov 10, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidDumbest. Thread. Ever.


    DITTO.
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    Nov 10, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    You forgot:

    Social Butterfly

    Ones that join as many gay organizations/clubs/etc. as possible. Would know everyone in the gay scene, usually with one or two bf's on the go. Quite charming, but very shallow and snarky.


    This one would fit between the power queen and club/dancing queen.
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    Nov 10, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    Dancing queen taking the dancing spot of the power queer.. without doing any of the other things the power queer does