Topless Butler

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    Nov 10, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    Hi everyone, next week i am doing this topless butler event, i am just wondering for some tips for myself such as clean shaven? baby oil? hairless chest? etc
    also to loose some weight fast to tone up, any tips will be really helpful

    also any tips on how to deal with women / men or who ever as i have not done this befor so need a little help and tips, many thanks :-)
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    Nov 10, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    If you need to practise you can come and be my naked butler for the weekend.

    Topless. Whatever

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    Nov 10, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    Put baby oil on while you're still wet from the shower (or if you can do dampen yourself right before "going on"), then dry off gently. You will have some shine but won't look or feel greasy. Leaves your skin feeling nice.
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    Nov 10, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    At first I thought the title read "Topless Butter" and now I'm hungry. icon_lol.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 10, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    Im pretty sure u will do fine no matter what icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 10, 2011 11:33 PM GMT
    Holy crap! Are you Ben Affleck? That cleft chin is a dead giveaway.
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    Nov 10, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    No oil and do it in a a black boxer brief with a bow tie and see if you can buy those things that go around your wrist with cuff links that look like they come from a shirt.
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 11, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    If this is not an event for bear lovers, shave. Actually don't shave, shaving is bad for the skin. Find a gentle chemical hair remover. READ the label, most of them strongly urge you to not put them on things like nipples.

    It puts the lotion on the skin, or else.... Just keep saying that and doing that every day, twice a day if time allows (once in the morning, once in the evening) it should lead to a 'glow' and 'shine'. On the day of the event, just before 'butlering' apply more lotion.

    Lotion, something with a nice vitamin E content should do nicely. on the day there of if outside, wear one with some UV protection.

    Lose weight fast - cut something off.... Lose fat and tone up, exercise and diet. I think you already know this. BTW if your photos are current, you do not need to lose anything.

    As for how to deal with people.

    Assuming there is no 'Do Not Touch the butler' rules, you will have to nicely direct the attention upward and out of your way when serving if 'touching' is taking place. Gently, but firmly remind the 'guest' that there is a rule about touching. If this is an organized event, you most likely will be coached on how to say the right things to disarm the handy guests.

    If its their first time and they are sober, they most likely will just look - hard, but be too 'shy' to touch. If they are drinking, expect grouping.

    If this is not one of those places that require showing tube in the pants, I suggest wearing a cup to protect your "junk" from the drunk. There are some who will grab a hold without mercy. Also expect the drunks and more wild ones to twist tits and do other things like ass slap and maybe even try to bare more.

    Again I have no idea what the ground rules may be, if they are strict you most likely will have no to little problem. If they are no strict 'rules' given to guests, then expect to go home feeling used and abused physically and even emotionally. Stripper, dancers, posers, half nude people tend to get poorly treated by lots of the 'guests' unless there are strict rules, even then the rules don't stop drunks and just 'wild' crazy people.

    Smile, and smile and smile some more. DO expect lots of crude comments, 'sly' whispers and suggestions. Just keep on smiling, I don't care if that guy is 105 years old, 5'4 tall and 6' wide. Smile.

    Winking - Bad. Unless you know the guest is shy, or not going to maul you. If there is any doubt about how drunk or how willing this guest is do not provoke him or her with a wink.

    Careful of drunk husbands/wives who see you paying attention to their spouses. While most are not very jealous when sober, jealousy can flare up when drunk. A few don't need a drink to get 'upset' that you just looked at their spouse.

    I will assume this is an organized affair, organized by a person who has had some experience. S/he will most likely tell you pretty much what I told you, most likely a bit more and some solid, practical advise how to deal with 'restless natives'.

    Since you are a week away, I would strongly suggest you discuss protocol BEFORE the big day. Different parties have different rules and expect different things from the help (you).

    Lastly, do try to have fun.
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    Nov 11, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    Ha if it is Ben... oh me oh my... still got a shot! lol jk no but I would actually say you check out Andreson Cooper's rant about the Victoria Secret Fashion Show Diet.Seems to work wonders!

    The video is funny!
    Model Diet
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    Nov 11, 2011 12:07 PM GMT
    cool, i am currently on a strict diet high protein low carbs , weights in evening , cardio in morning, will veet on the day then get spray tanned, (my rommie is a beaty therapist) she will apparenlty in her words (make me a sexy reem fucker) i have no idea but apparently she said i will get attention, which is odd as i hardly get attention, getting well nervous tho lol,