Travel To Australia - ROFL!!!

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    Nov 11, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    319507_10150441826983338_626898337_10588

    These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, hehehehe

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    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
    __________________________________________________

    Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

    A: What did your last slave die of?
    __________________________________________________

    Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

    A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
    Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
    ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
    __________________________________________________

    Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
    _________________________________________________

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
    A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
    __________________________________________________

    Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
    Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
    A: You are a British politician, right?
    __________________________________________________

    Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
    Milk is illegal.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
    All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
    __________________________________________________

    Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

    A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
    You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
    __________________________________________________

    Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

    A: Only at Christmas.
    __________________________________________________

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    The one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Back before globalization was so popular, every country would create their own maps and center themselves in the center of it. If you ever image google an old map of Australia, you see Aus in the center and the world is upside down.
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Rest of the questions are just ignorant dumbasses lol
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    Nov 11, 2011 8:35 AM GMT
    Regardless.. its the answers that make me ROFL
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    Nov 11, 2011 8:40 AM GMT
    This is outstanding. Thanks for sharing. Kangaroo taste like beef and crocodile taste like chicken. Just saying lol
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    Nov 11, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    LOL I have to say, I've lived in Australia my entire life and have never seen this map.
    The thing about the the drop bears or were bears as I've heard them called is familiar. My relatives from the U.S kept asking me about them and I was like "... seriously wtf are you on about? ... oh koalas?" haha

    The Austria/Australia mix up reminds of Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber lol but yeah I still am surprised at some questions I'm asked. Happens once every blue moon or so.
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    Nov 11, 2011 10:05 AM GMT
    Haha this stuff is quality!
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    Nov 11, 2011 10:27 AM GMT
    Triver89 saidThe one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Back before globalization was so popular, every country would create their own maps and center themselves in the center of it. If you ever image google an old map of Australia, you see Aus in the center and the world is upside down.
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Rest of the questions are just ignorant dumbasses lol

    I love the way people make things up on the internet as if it's fact.

    Look at any old maps of Australia - as per any other map North is at the top.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 11, 2011 10:52 AM GMT
    Haha, I want a drop bear!
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    Nov 11, 2011 11:11 AM GMT
    funnily enough... that map isn't really too far off the truth!
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    Nov 11, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    Triver89 saidThe one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Um... no. icon_neutral.gif
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    Nov 11, 2011 12:18 PM GMT
    No mention of hot men on that map? I don't know why but like 99% of Aussies are scorching HAWT! Hugh Jackman & Charles Mesure anyone?

    220px-Charles_Mesure_by_Gage_Skidmore.jp
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    Nov 12, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    ChrisInLDN said
    Triver89 saidThe one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Back before globalization was so popular, every country would create their own maps and center themselves in the center of it. If you ever image google an old map of Australia, you see Aus in the center and the world is upside down.
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Rest of the questions are just ignorant dumbasses lol

    I love the way people make things up on the internet as if it's fact.

    Look at any old maps of Australia - as per any other map North is at the top.



    Yup, I also love being right.

    world-map-by-australia.jpg

    Which way is north on that map? Exactly, not always at the top.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Nov 12, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    Those Ozzies have a bloody good sense of humor. Thanks for sharing mate.
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    Nov 12, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    Triver89 said
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Lol. At which point was this, precisely? I'd like to see some cold hard evidence, please.

    Triver89 said
    Which way is north on that map? Exactly, not always at the top.

    So you're arguing your point on the basis of a technicality then? If that's what you're doing, then congratulations - you're a winner.

    best_in-show_abl.jpg

    Trololol.
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    Nov 12, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    Ironman4U saidThose Ozzies have a bloody good sense of humor. Thanks for sharing mate.


    They DO dont they? Imma rethink which country has my fave sense of humour now...

    "What did your slave die of?".. bloody BRILLIANT!!!
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    Nov 12, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    I WANT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA.

    (the adorable accent alone is worth it!)
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    Nov 12, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    freaking hilarious! thanks for the laughicon_exclaim.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 12, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    Triver89 said
    ChrisInLDN said
    Triver89 saidThe one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Back before globalization was so popular, every country would create their own maps and center themselves in the center of it. If you ever image google an old map of Australia, you see Aus in the center and the world is upside down.
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Rest of the questions are just ignorant dumbasses lol

    I love the way people make things up on the internet as if it's fact.

    Look at any old maps of Australia - as per any other map North is at the top.



    Yup, I also love being right.

    world-map-by-australia.jpg

    Which way is north on that map? Exactly, not always at the top.


    That's not an old map of Australia, that's sold in tourist shops as a joke. Looks like the joke's on you though.....

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    Nov 13, 2011 12:35 AM GMT
    Triver89 said
    ChrisInLDN said
    Triver89 saidThe one about which way is North is kind of a legit question lol.

    Back before globalization was so popular, every country would create their own maps and center themselves in the center of it. If you ever image google an old map of Australia, you see Aus in the center and the world is upside down.
    So basically for them, our south was their north at one point.

    Rest of the questions are just ignorant dumbasses lol

    I love the way people make things up on the internet as if it's fact.

    Look at any old maps of Australia - as per any other map North is at the top.



    Yup, I also love being right.

    world-map-by-australia.jpg

    Which way is north on that map? Exactly, not always at the top.


    I'm curious why the ocean to the "north" of Australia is labeled the "Southern Ocean"?
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    Nov 13, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    Ironman4U saidThose Ozzies have a bloody good sense of humor. Thanks for sharing mate.


    They DO dont they? Imma rethink which country has my fave sense of humour now...

    "What did your slave die of?".. bloody BRILLIANT!!!


    Bloddy oath!
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    Nov 13, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    "Sharks With Frickin Lasers" icon_lol.gif
  • cbrett

    Posts: 609

    Nov 13, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    "baby killer dingos" is in the wrong spot it should be in the middle of australia on the map
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    Nov 13, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Ace123 said"Sharks With Frickin Lasers" icon_lol.gif

    I didn't know Dr. Evil was Australian. icon_question.gif
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    Nov 13, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    This original post is hilarious! LOVE IT!! especially the milk and Vienna Boys Choir! HAHAHA