What might turn a guy off about you (pt 2)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2008 2:17 AM GMT
    OK. So I got some response from you guys and I totally appreciate that. You have have character and that's great that you showed it.

    I have another game that we can all play now. It's realy easy and all it requires is for you to do a little soul searching and to be completely honest with others but mainly with yourself. After coming to yterms wiht your own flaws and the flaws of others do you think their is a possiblity that you could that you change a few of them in yourself and in others whom you might find attractive but just can't stand because of their flaws.

    In short, do you think you could maybe stomach their attitudes or whatever and maybe change them to be more likeable (for you) and do you think you could cahnge yourself for others to like you?

    Yes? No? Maybe so or possibly you just don't know?

    I'll start.

    Yes. If I saw someone with flaws that i just couldn't stand but was thought if he changed sligthy and gave me something to work with then yeah and also their are afew things that I would be willing to change about myself in hopes of meeting someone. I wouldn't revamp myself though and I'd hope they would ask too much of me since some things about me just can't change but I'd at least make the effort. Some things like maybe toning down a few sacrastic remarks and possibly being considerate of other's feelings. Stuff like that could fixed and certain amount of control onmy part could be exercised.

    How about the rest of you?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 31, 2008 2:59 AM GMT
    Guy101 said

    In short, do you think you could maybe stomach their attitudes or whatever and maybe change them to be more likeable (for you) and do you think you could cahnge yourself for others to like you?




    Bad idea Guy 101... you may not have meant to say what you did in the above paragraph, but I suggest you reread what you said.... and what you might have meant.

    To begin with, you don't "change others" to be more likeable (for you) or change yourself "for others".

    I think what you meant is are you willing to work with another for self improvement purposes. Each man does it for themselves, not for someone else. If another wished to improve himself in some manner and sought your assistance, I think that would be valuable.

    Do not try and change others, you must accept them or forget it.
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    May 31, 2008 3:21 AM GMT
    I know I couldn't take being asked to tone down my acerbic sarcasm.

    I don't really think I could. It would seem like a constant battle and also smack somewhat of oppression on my part, asking someone else to be false to who they are.

    I can't stand it when someone leaves food out of the fridge, but if I was really into someone I would harass them about it but most likely overlook it at the same time. But that is so minor, a game breaker is still a game breaker. I couldn't overlook being with someone who treated others (not myself) poorly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    Guy101,

    I don't know if I could make those kinds of changes. I just wouldn't be motivated to. The unfortunate (or fortunate) fact is that by the time those things I don't like start to bother me, my dopamine has gone back down, and there isn't the physical or emotional need anymore to make it work.

    That's probably why I've been single so long, but that's another thread.

    PS--I didn't respond to your thread about "what about you would turn someone off" because there is no end to the things about me that someone might not like.

    Charlie
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    May 31, 2008 4:46 AM GMT
    I don't think it's a bad idea and I think the word change was taken a little literally by some or maybe I just didn't explain it well enough (it happens).

    I didn't mean change in the literal sense of changing a person completely to satisfy your wants and needs. I think I should've used a word like tolerate (I thought I did by saying "stomach").

    In all honesty, some things do have to change in a relationship in order for things to work out. It could be you or it could be them. It could be a number of things that require change and I'm just curious depending what those changes are of people (or yourself) if you'd be willing to do it.

    It could be a simple yes or no or it could be a more complicated. It really depends on the person and the situation which is what I orginally asked in the first place but again I guess I didn't do a good job explaining it. Or did I? That's why I said that some soul searching and some honesty was required in order to play this game.

    If it seems a bit too real and it questions for peo-ple's heart and believes then my job is have done and the rest is up to you to figure out.

    (Secretly you all wish you change others and possibkly yourselves and you probably would if you knew it would make someone happy. Wouldn't you?)

    Yes? No? Maybe so or possibly you just don't know?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2008 7:01 AM GMT
    Unlike a lot of guys here, LOL, I only had one turnoff (I think) in that old old thread about what turns you off about other guys, and it was Arrogance.

    I can't stomach that and I don't think I can or should change it either.

    I'd also be happier to change MYself than others... I'm a natural doormat that way. icon_rolleyes.gif And then I get stepped on and I become the Invading Killer Doormat From Mars! icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2008 8:34 AM GMT
    The Sci-Fi leaks out. Its always the Sci-Fi.