I think the coming out process starts with yourself.
I had some false starts from maybe age 19-22. I was naive and didn't understand it...as a 'fag' was some kind of weak sissy. My MO was to make friends with guys I was attracted to. We'd spend a lot of time together. One time I was on a road trip with my friend Eric. I was driving and Eric was sprawled out in the passengers seat, sound asleep. I kept glancing over at him, running my eyes over his hot body, his handsome face. It was giving me a major hard on...but I couldn't stop myself...I knew I had to stop, but I kept on glancing back for another look....and then oh boy....one look too many....and I ended up cumming in my shorts! Freaking embarrassing as hell.
But...I wasn't gay.
A few years later, I was at a New Year Eve's party in Dallas, TX. I overheard a conversation where somebody said something like, "Down on Cedar Springs is the gay bar district." I couldn't get that out of my head. When I left the party, I ended up crossing Cedar Springs Rd. Curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to check it out.
Its after 1am and the place was wild. I had never seen anything like it. Hot guys everywhere. I was blown away. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. I was about to cum in my shorts all over again....lol. Nobody could call these guys weak or sissies or whatever....they looked just like Eric and all the other men I had crushes on. They were full blooded men. Glorious MEN! And I was one of them!
Anyway, that was the night that I looked around and realized that all the anti-gay stuff was a bunch of bullshit. I knew at that moment that I was gay.