yourname2000 saidTwo points: the first around this line: "Your standards will not go any lower, let alone the standards of the ones you want". You don't know what people want...and you haven't surveyed enough to be able to make that generalization.
Anyone but the most newbie here knows that what you offer determines what you can ask for. "You never know" and "everything is possible" are the most worn out arguments used by those who like to feed false hopes, after all, just because you can win the lottery doesn't mean you will. On a moral level, this asymmetry of expectations -- with one being picky while hoping the other will lower his standards -- is a sign of immaturity.
yourname2000 saidI would actually think that a lot of guys (gay guys) in that lifestyle would just appreciate having someone to share that lifestyle with, the common goals, diet --these aren't easy things to match up! And as for being a year or two away from your goals, one (girl)friend of mine couldn't find the man she was looking for (metalhead god) in our small town, so she found a metalhead who's personal goal was "growth", and she was happy as a clam...used to brag with glee that she "couldn't find a mighty oak in this town, but she found a great acorn and was growing her own mighty oak." You may find a guy that "you want" who would be honoured to be your mentor as well as your lover; such a man may enjoy sharing his knowledge and even the competitiveness of you nipping at his heels.
The fact that she's a woman explains it all!
On our side of the fence physical attraction is fundamental. If you found a very obese guy around your age, but committed to a healthy lifestyle, would you have any relationship with him other than friendship? Is his industrious character enough to compensate for the looks you don't like? It will take years for him to become palatable to you, what would you do with him in the meanwhile?
yourname2000 saidMy second point is, you become the perfect man in a couple of years, you're lucky enough to meet another perfect guy, you fall in love.....what then? It's not like this is going to be your last goal in your life...who ever you partner up with, you're going to ALWAYS be watching him grow, and he watching you grow. It doesn't stop. And even if it did "even if you're on the right path, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
I agree! To evolve is a must and whoever is with us must evolve together. I too agree that life is way more than sex, dates and love life, but since these things depend a lot on how good looking you are to those who look good to you, and since the progress to this state may take several years, I was expecting pragmatic suggestions on what to do in this long meanwhile.