How do you tell your best friend that you don't have feelings for that is anti-gay that you are gay? ((???)). :(

  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 14, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    Lost...

    What do you think about this?
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    Nov 14, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    im sorry. Can we try this in english or when you are sober?

    cuzWTFd00d
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    Nov 14, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    If he's anti-gay why are you friends with him?
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    Nov 14, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    Set a date and time, steel yourself with a shot of good sipping whiskey, and lay the truth on him.

    And be prepared for fallout, if it comes.

    If he cannot accept you for who you are, then you know it's time to move on.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 14, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    I think you like him; just stick your tongue in his ear & don't take no for an answer !
  • offshore

    Posts: 1294

    Nov 14, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    Allow an Asian to help.

    How do you come out to your Anti-Gay best friend, WHOM you DO NOT HAVE feelings for?
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    Nov 14, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidMy best friends are religious and would always say very mean shit about homosexuality. I told some of them. They said that now that their best friend is gay, they look at the issue differently and are actually very big supporters of me and tell me not to be worried about my preference.


    If you're lucky, this is what will happen to you. If not, find a new friend that you don't have to hide who you are from. It's hard but he has the problem, not you.
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    Nov 14, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    Most people will be supportive, though it will take time.

    A lot of more conservative/religious folks haven't had much exposure to gay people. Seeing someone close to them who is gay often causes them to rethink their stance.
  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 14, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    Huh I thought I was speaking english thanks for pointing out I wasn't.

    Well to answer the feelings for my friend aspect if you assume i like him sexual your wrong hes not my type. We all have faults yes he's anti gay but if I was to unfriend everyone because of a certain faults I'd be a very lonely even lonelier person than I already am we been friends for over 20 years and I just come out I do exceedingly love him for a person and love his humor. I'm finally surcoming to my true feelings and inner desires. I was hoping to get a more heart felt and helpful replies but I do appreciate and will further appreciate any advise that this community has compassion to Offer me.
    Ty

    Still lost.
  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 14, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Sorry for all the mistakes in my post I'm trying to do to many things at once please read through the mistakes ty Tom.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Tomz saidHuh I thought I was speaking english thanks for pointing out I wasn't.

    Well to answer the feelings for my friend aspect if you assume i like him sexual your wrong hes not my type. We all have faults yes he's anti gay but if I was to unfriend everyone because of a certain faults I'd be a very lonely even lonelier person than I already am we been friends for over 20 years and I just come out I do exceedingly love him for a person and love his humor. I'm finally surcoming to my true feelings and inner desires. I was hoping to get a more heart felt and helpful replies but I do appreciate and will further appreciate any advise that this community has compassion to Offer me.
    Ty

    Still lost.


    If you have to deny who you are to keep a friend, then he isnt your friend. As for the rest, I will hold my tongue because I have nothing nice to say about it and it would not end well. You reap what you sew. And you are like in the finals of Project Runway it seems.

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    Nov 14, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    Tomz saidHuh I thought I was speaking english thanks for pointing out I wasn't.

    Well to answer the feelings for my friend aspect if you assume i like him sexual your wrong hes not my type. We all have faults yes he's anti gay but if I was to unfriend everyone because of a certain faults I'd be a very lonely even lonelier person than I already am we been friends for over 20 years and I just come out I do exceedingly love him for a person and love his humor. I'm finally surcoming to my true feelings and inner desires. I was hoping to get a more heart felt and helpful replies but I do appreciate and will further appreciate any advise that this community has compassion to Offer me.
    Ty

    Still lost.


    Sorry I have a problem separating "anti-gay" from "anti-black" "anti-Muslim" or "anti-feminist". These people exist alongside us in the world, and have just as much of a right to be here as we do. We don't have the right to be "anti" anybody, unless they're guilty of a crime or are just a complete douchebag.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    This is dumb. Obviously, there are acceptable "flaws" and unacceptable ones. To have a "best friend" who's anti-gay is clearly UNacceptable!
  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 14, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    That was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...


    Yet you dont follow yours.....hmmmm. You dont need to defend someone for hating. you didnt come here for a first ammendment debate, did you? You are rationalizing it. And not well I might ad.

    And whats a Rroma?
  • Tomz

    Posts: 156

    Nov 14, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Sorry for missing your two other replies I appreciate your efforts I have really no time right now I'll be back latter to answer you thank-you very muchly ;)...
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    offshore saidAllow an Asian to help.

    How do you come out to your anti-gay best friend, FOR whom you do not have feelings?

    Fixed it for you. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...



    What does that have to do with choosing a person full of hate as a best friend???
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...



    What does that have to do with choosing a person full of hate as a best friend???


    A rationalization larger than Rosie O'donell's waist size.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Zettabyte said
    offshore saidAllow an Asian to help.

    How do you come out to your anti-gay best friend, FOR whom you do not have feelings?

    Fixed it for you. icon_wink.gif


    I was thinkin' it.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...


    Yet you dont follow yours.....hmmmm. You dont need to defend someone for hating. you didnt come here for a first ammendment debate, did you? You are rationalizing it. And not well I might ad.

    And whats a Rroma?


    Roma = what people refer to as "Gypsies" which is inaccurate and sometimes considered offensive. Part of a population (collectively known as Romani) that dispersed from the Indian subcontinent across the Americas and Europe.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roma_%28Romani_subgroup%29
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    njmeanwhile said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...


    Yet you dont follow yours.....hmmmm. You dont need to defend someone for hating. you didnt come here for a first ammendment debate, did you? You are rationalizing it. And not well I might ad.

    And whats a Rroma?


    Roma = what people refer to as "Gypsies" which is inaccurate and sometimes considered offensive. Part of a population (collectively known as Romani) that dispersed from the Indian subcontinent across the Americas and Europe.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roma_%28Romani_subgroup%29


    So an Indian who lives in the US?
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Nov 14, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    I'd want more clarification on what is meant by anti-gay. Does this mean that he says things that are offensive to gay people but still commonly occur in our culture, or does he say really vicious hateful things? If it's the first he may not really understand the impact of his words and the friendship may still be salvaged--it is really deep in his mind, then it might just be better to ditch him.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    njmeanwhile said
    Dallasfan824 said
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...


    Yet you dont follow yours.....hmmmm. You dont need to defend someone for hating. you didnt come here for a first ammendment debate, did you? You are rationalizing it. And not well I might ad.

    And whats a Rroma?


    Roma = what people refer to as "Gypsies" which is inaccurate and sometimes considered offensive. Part of a population (collectively known as Romani) that dispersed from the Indian subcontinent across the Americas and Europe.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roma_%28Romani_subgroup%29


    So an Indian who lives in the US?


    No, the Romani came from that part of the world quite a long time ago (between 500-1000 AD) and emigrated to as far away as Finland and Brazil, while maintaining their own languages, religions and customs. The Roma subgroup is concentrated in the Balkan states (former Yugoslavia, Romania, etc.) and northern Italy.
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    Nov 14, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    Tomz saidThat was a very thoughtful reply I personal believe anybody can freely think for themselves if hate is their true feelings then being a human being laiden with faults that humans are cursed with then its there 100% rightful right. I'm Rroma but I believe a nazi skinhead has the right to hate me as I have the right to think the way I do. Understand nazi killed thousands of my people and direct family. But I believe every person has the right to follow their own beliefs...


    I'd put Nazi skinheads under the category of "douchebag" Tomz. They have the right to hate you, stupid though it is, but they should not be permitted to act on it or give you a hard time.

    Does your friend know any gay people or are the things he says generalities? Is he Rroma also? What does the Rroma culture say about homosexuality? Please be patient because we do not know very much about it and many of us have never met a Rroma person to have the opportunity to learn.