Going for it and trying too hard

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    Nov 17, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    What would you say is the difference between taking the chance and going for it...by this I mean telling the guy you like him and would like to see him again...and trying too hard or coming on too strong. I seem to have a problem with the latter. Most of my friends say to not tell the guy you like him, but I think that's a bunch of crap. Plus I'm not like that and I refuse to play these dating games (gee, maybe that's why I've been single for so long). Why should I not tell a guy I like him? After all, I'd like to know if he lilked me. Or am I totally wrong here?
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    Nov 18, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    If the guy is seeing someone or as flat out told you he is not interested, then I would leave him alone. If that is not the case, then I don't see why you shouldn't at least try. Just be subtle about it and don't say anything crazy. Ask about him, wheres he from, what he likes to do in his spare time. Then try to find common ground. Going out to eat or drinks is always safe. Most guys would be flattered to be approached.

    I met my bf by just going up to him and saying hello (though I was pretty drunk) and we are still together.

    The worst they can do is turn you down. If so, pick up your ball on move on....
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    Nov 18, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    In most cases I don't think it's wrong to approach a guy, or even to be honest in saying you like him. But with that kind of bluntness you should be prepared for an honest answer. There are usually cues if a guy's into you, ways to determine interest without putting it all out there in the open, and that's technically not playing games.... just us being awkward social creatures.
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    Nov 18, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with telling someone you like them.

    I think that how you tell someone, though, is as important as what you're telling them. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Nov 18, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    I think its perfectly fine to let someone know that you like them, just focus on how you approach it. Like Jmuscmc85 said, be subtle and not blunt. Be like, oh you're a great guy and I enjoy spending time with you, and I hope that we can do this again sometime. It's an indirect way of showing your interest in him, and then take it from there.

    In the end he will either reciprocate same feelings or he won't. And it will help you find out where you stand with this person and how much time and energy should you really invest into him and what the prospects are of it growing into something greater.


    That is what I would do, but I can't say that I am speaking from experience since I only had one relationship which was hastened and therefore didn't last long.
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    Nov 18, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    I think one of my problems (or excuses) for coming on too strong is that I don't meet many guys I REALLY like and when I do, I get all freaking crazy. In about 20 yrs, I've maybe met 4 or 5 guys that I was attracted to not just physically, but in every way. I did end up in a relationship with one of them, but that was a long time ago.

    So is saying "I like you" too blunt? Heck if any of these 4 or 5 guys (not including the relationship one) said that to me, I would have really liked that. I usually don't say I like him until I get some sign or feeling from him that he likes me too. I'm just honest with my feelings and don't like to play guessing games. Maybe I'm expecting too much? Or maybe I let my insecurities get to me...dating or meeting a new guy is nerve wracking to me. Wish it wasn't, and I'm trying to change, but still.

    There were a few times I was played...but that's different. I was just a moron for not seeing it.
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    Nov 18, 2011 10:51 PM GMT
    Yup...it's difficult. I understand everything you are feeling......icon_cry.gif