Crossed Signals

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    So last night I chatted with a guy from manhunt...He was doing the typical 'I'm so horny behavior'

    Now this all well and good and I played along but I told him that this all well and good, but we can always talk about other things as well and I implied a friends with benefit terms


    Later today he says we won't be a good match because he's recently gotten out of relationship and doesn't want emotional investment.

    Yes I do realize that manhunt is typically a hook up channel but what gives. I can't always do this sex talk business. I like to keep things in relative balance and one night stands are not cool for me anymore..

    Maybe I am asking for too much.

    Any insights?
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Nov 20, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    Maybe your coming to the realization that you deserve better than guys like him...
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    Nov 20, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    mybud saidMaybe your coming to the realization that you deserve better than guys like him...


    Bud tell me something... I'm talking initiative by meeting people, but barely any bites.

    I guess I'm being impatient about it.
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 20, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    If manhunt is for sex hook-ups only then really you are asking too much for friends with benefits from people who are going there seeking only a one night stand.

    I met lovers at work, at AA/NA meetings, at the library, at archery clubs, on camping trips organized for groups... Places where social activity takes place where I will at least make friends with people who share similar interests.

    If you want to find drunks, go to a bar. If you want to find sluts, do some one night stand website - quick and dirty hook-ups. If you want to find quality people go to those places where quality people congregate.

  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Nov 20, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    Fivealive said
    mybud saidMaybe your coming to the realization that you deserve better than guys like him...


    Bud tell me something... I'm talking initiative by meeting people, but barely any bites.

    I guess I'm being impatient about it.
    Patience man....be yourself...Second...manhunt isn't the place to meet quality guys to date..Those dudes want to fuck and fly....Try asking your friends if they know of single gay guys...Be specific on what your looking for...Be ready to kiss some toads before finding your prince...I only know ya from here but I got to say your attractive...sensitive...smart...Your a catch...but you have to believe that and show it through your actions and how to carry yourself...All the best....Steve
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    I feel your pain. It's not easy to meet attractive, descent, well-off guys. Sometimes, I'm resentful of the fact that 'these guys' aren't approaching me on a regular basis. I mean, I'm quite a catch (icon_biggrin.gif).

    I don't go to bars/clubs and don't meet guys for hook-ups (it's just not my thing, but sometimes I wish that it was). I'm going to try speed-dating soon. I have high hopes.

    The point is, if what you are doing is not working, then try something else. If you can't find someone, there's no hope for the rest of us.
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    Nov 20, 2011 1:13 PM GMT
    I kind of went through a "slut phase" last fall and the start of this year I decided I was going to stay celibate until I was with a boyfriend. I never have been one to just hook up or even be looking for that. I think it's because I was engaged at 17 with a guy that I had been dating for 7 years. I have in my mind what I want in my partner and what I want in my life. I guess that's why I can't and won't do the manhunt thing or even really look for guys at the club. I try to meet people through friends... the few that I have but even that gets hard. Lot's of guys tell me I look straight or assume I am so even though when I see guys that are interested in me by giving me the look I'm not sure how to respond to it. I've only had now three boyfriends and the last one we were together for only 3 months. The two before him were 7 years and 4 yrs. If you figure out how to meet the ones looking for more let me know. For now, I just keep going forward working on myself and praying wherever he is that he knows I love him and can't wait to meet him and if I have met him, than I wait for when God says it's our time to be. Boyce Avenue has a good song that sums up my feelings.
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    Nov 20, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    It's interesting because at this point in my life my emotional need for intimacy far outweighs my physical needs. Sex is so unfulfilling just to have, so I don't.

    Since August, I have went on 11 dates with 11 different men. A couple have been second dates. Then I realize there is no connection with these men. It's rough establishing emotional investment.

    Advice: meet as many men as you possibly can. The winners will stick around.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Nov 20, 2011 1:34 PM GMT
    There are so few people on Manhunt that want FWB or real dating .... however there are some. Use the Friends with Benefit filter and don't waste your time with anyone that wants less than you want.

    Many have reported that Match.com (while expensive) is for guys that really want to date or FWB.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 20, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Fivealive said
    mybud saidMaybe your coming to the realization that you deserve better than guys like him...


    Bud tell me something... I'm talking initiative by meeting people, but barely any bites.

    I guess I'm being impatient about it.


    Or looking in all the wrong places. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    How about that Plenty of fish site (I think that's what it's called).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    I am also registered at POF....Few fish re interested but lets see. There is this cuban guy I like...But he rarely replies to texts. :S
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    HowHotKC saidThere are so few people on Manhunt that want FWB or real dating .... however there are some. Use the Friends with Benefit filter and don't waste your time with anyone that wants less than you want.

    Many have reported that Match.com (while expensive) is for guys that really want to date or FWB.
    Match seems to have more GLBT Members than its main competitors (EHarmony, LavaLife, etc.)

    I had a problem where I had moved from California to Washington. eH didn't like what I put in my updated profile but wouldn't say why beyond "rejected" and restored my old profile back to California...after I sent out messages to guys in Wa.

    I started to wonder if eHarmony had GLBT employees or straight employees manning the critique desk.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    Fivealive said
    mybud saidMaybe your coming to the realization that you deserve better than guys like him...


    Bud tell me something... I'm talking initiative by meeting people, but barely any bites.

    I guess I'm being impatient about it.

    You want a bite?
    *chomp chomp*
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Nov 21, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidI kind of went through a "slut phase" last fall and the start of this year I decided I was going to stay celibate until I was with a boyfriend. I never have been one to just hook up or even be looking for that. I think it's because I was engaged at 17 with a guy that I had been dating for 7 years. I have in my mind what I want in my partner and what I want in my life. I guess that's why I can't and won't do the manhunt thing or even really look for guys at the club. I try to meet people through friends... the few that I have but even that gets hard. Lot's of guys tell me I look straight or assume I am so even though when I see guys that are interested in me by giving me the look I'm not sure how to respond to it. I've only had now three boyfriends and the last one we were together for only 3 months. The two before him were 7 years and 4 yrs. If you figure out how to meet the ones looking for more let me know. For now, I just keep going forward working on myself and praying wherever he is that he knows I love him and can't wait to meet him and if I have met him, than I wait for when God says it's our time to be. Boyce Avenue has a good song that sums up my feelings.


    You started dating him when you were 10?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidIt's interesting because at this point in my life my emotional need for intimacy far outweighs my physical needs. Sex is so unfulfilling just to have, so I don't.

    Since August, I have went on 11 dates with 11 different men. A couple have been second dates. Then I realize there is no connection with these men. It's rough establishing emotional investment.

    Advice: meet as many men as you possibly can. The winners will stick around.



    An emotional connection and intimacy is by far the high order. It is the fuel, the passion, in the relationship.

    All other elements of the relationship spring from this... particularly the physical connections. it's sex vs making love.