My dad passed away this weekend.

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    Nov 21, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    My dad passed away this weekend. I got to hold his hand. I got to tell him I love him. I cherish every moment I had with him. In his last few years I found myself getting frustrated with him for things he did that were very unlike him. This video put things into perspective for me. Any of you guys who may find yourself feeling frustrated with an aging parent, I hope that this video puts things in perspective for you too.

    Peace.


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    Nov 21, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    Sorry for your lost, I lost both my parents when I was a child, so I know how it feels. At least you got to say goodbye.
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    So sorry for your loss, I dread the day.

    Wish u peace.
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    Nov 21, 2011 5:12 AM GMT
    I'm so sorry. Hugs.
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    Nov 21, 2011 5:23 AM GMT

    "My dad passed away this weekend. I got to hold his hand. I got to tell him I love him. I cherish every moment I had with him. In his last few years I found myself getting frustrated with him for things he did that were very unlike him. This video put things into perspective for me. Any of you guys who may find yourself feeling frustrated with an aging parent, I hope that this video puts things in perspective for you too."

    *hugs makinmyway*

    My Dad passed away abruptly from seemingly healthy to gone in 20 minutes. Luckily for me, I had told Dad a few times in the previous months, out of the blue that I loved him. Bill always grinned. Dad would look at me and say,

    "Christ, what crap are going on about now?" but his eyes would light up. Heheh.

    Bill's Dad passed with time for Bill to do as you did, which is quite wonderful of you.

    -Doug
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    Nov 21, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    It's part of life and you should be happy he got to live to such a long age.

    There are many folks who die very prematurely.
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    My deepest sympathies.
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    aww man ... icon_sad.gif , sorry for that
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:42 PM GMT
    So sorry for your loss. I'm sure you'll remember the good times and savior them. Hopefully this will comfort you in the years ahead.

    icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:43 PM GMT
    Sending you a hug, man. And thank you for the video. I'm afraid my father will pass soon too, and we have a very distant/superficial relationship due to his refusal to accept my sexuality. I'm trying to find a way to breach that distance before it's too late. It won't be easy--might even prove impossible--but I'll at least try.

    Be strong when you need to, but also allow yourself to feel your feelings--and seek support when you need it.
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    sorry to hear....

    both parents are gone here...
    it's not easy
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    My mom passed away August 25th......I was fortunate to be able to express my feelings with her as you did with your dad.

    And yes, the last 15 months or so, she wasn't herself, either. Suspicious, paranoid, delusional.....but it was sporadic.

    We were very close and I'm not going to let the last year of her life and odd behavior color all the wonderful years that came before....

    icon_wink.gif.




    P.S. I know how rough it is to lose a parent. I don't think a day has gone by since that I haven't cried........
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    Nov 21, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    Very sorry to hear that, bud. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers,
  • LJay

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    Nov 21, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    I am sorry to hear of your loss. You will certainly treasure those last times together. They are what connects us to the real rhythms of life.
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    Nov 21, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    This is sad to hear, very sorry for your loss.
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    Nov 21, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    Very sad. RIP to your father.

    It warms me to know you were able to say what you needed to, and be there with him. My sincerest condolences.
  • hdurdinr

    Posts: 699

    Nov 21, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry for you loss. I lost my father just over two years ago very suddenly. The pain does get better but you just have to go through it to get to the other side. Once you have gotten through all the 'firsts' - the first Christmas or birthday without him or the first time you go somewhere you always used to go to together, then things get easier. Your life will never be the same of course but hopefully you will become a stronger person and when you reunite some day think of how happy you'll both be. I wish you all the best.
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    Nov 21, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    makinmyway saidMy dad passed away this weekend. I got to hold his hand. I got to tell him I love him. I cherish every moment I had with him. In his last few years I found myself getting frustrated with him for things he did that were very unlike him. This video put things into perspective for me. Any of you guys who may find yourself feeling frustrated with an aging parent, I hope that this video puts things in perspective for you too.

    Peace.




    I'm sorry for your loss.

    thank you for posting the video.

    It's not your fault~
  • CuriousJockAZ

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    Nov 21, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    Sending you BIG HUG from Scottsdale, AZ. I'm so sorry for your loss, and THANK YOU for posting the short film. It made me realize how impatient I can be with my aging mother, and I sure will be more patient after seeing this.
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    Nov 21, 2011 11:41 PM GMT
    A beautiful little film though probably it stretches reality a bit much, at least from my experience with this. For what seems to me to be the dementia in the older man that had him asking over again a question that he didn't recall having just asked would most likely have prevented him from being able to think of his diary and to carry out the instructions he'd be required to give himself: to get off the bench, to go into the house, to get the book, to bring it back, to point to the correct passage, to make--what the viewer is lead to believe is--his point. The film though makes a good but sad point and condolence for the OP on what life had you--as have & will many of us--endure.

    Though my mother managed to stay very much in touch with reality, keeping herself surprisingly intact throughout 14 years of Alzheimer's, in the last years she would call me at least 12 times a day. Sometimes just to tell me "did I tell you I love you today?" Sometimes the phone would ring again before I had the chance to walk away from having just put it down.

    I'd give anything to have my mom today calling me 12 times a day. Even then I loved it. Not that I've the patience of a saint, just that I knew where this was headed and so I savored every repetitive moment. I used to find different ways of answering the same questions. I turned it into a game we'd play. Or I'd use the opportunity to explore more of how she felt about an idea or an event. You can learn a lot about the other person when life renders them so vulnerable. And you can learn a lot about yourself when their damaged life opens even wider your heart.

    Condolences to us all.
  • mybud

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    Nov 21, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    You,your father and your family are in my thoughts.....Steve
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    Nov 22, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    I'm sorry for your loss...hugs
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    Nov 22, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I lost my dad to heart disease exactly two months ago. We had our share of disagreements and tensions over the years--as I suppose most fathers and sons do, but he was always there for me. I'm going thru a stage of denial right now, and feel bad for not feeling devasted as much as I did several weeks ago....Not sure if I'm accepting things, denying them, or what. I am not sorry for myself---as I know I'll be fine. I just hope that he is in a good place--much better than what we have here on earth.
    Stay strong. For once in my life I can truly say, "I know what you're going through."
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    Nov 22, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    sorry about the loss of your father.my mom passed away April 2008.the last few years of her life,she would regress to her childhood..doctor said she had vascular dementia..so i feel for you man...hang in there and remember to take care of yourself during your time of grieving. just a side note....after mom passed on,about a month later..i had a dream that i sat at the foot of her bed and told her i missed her..later that week,i had another dream that she came and sat at the foot of my bed and she told me not to worry about her,because dying was not the end,and that the whole thing was not as bad as i felt it was...then she was gone..i felt a great sense of comfort from those two dreams.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Nov 22, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    Chin up. Sounds like you have a lot of memories to cherish.