Dating Masculine Guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    I just recently came out. I haven't dated or hooked up with any guys, but the problem I seem to be having is that most masc guys don't really give you the time of day if your not super buff or an insane sports fanatic. I know every person has their own taste and preference, but I had no idea gay dating or flirting would be just as hard as when I was trying to do "straight" dating. I just joined a gym so i've been working out much more....body will improve over time.
    I've never found the fem gay guys attractive and those are the ones that always hit on me. Am I doing something wrong? Or is this a universal thing? And not to discredit any feminine guys, but we are MEN and should act like MEN; Maybe its all in my head...i don't know. Any feedback would be great.
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    Nov 22, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    I get what your saying which is why i'm more into working out and better understanding sports. Most people who meet me never assume i'm gay and if they do they never say i act like a fem. Maybe my chic nerdiness encompasses me b/c of my lack of sports knowledge and people can tell i'm a newbie
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    Nov 22, 2011 10:35 PM GMT
    Agreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."

    AMoonHawk saidGuys will usually approach guys that they feel are within their league, that's why a buff guy is only interested in a buff guy. You would not expect a buff guy to put all that work in to looking good just to go out with a guy that is either really skinny or over weight. The only time you usually see that is with guys that are into guys that can pull off looking like a woman. So if only feminine guys are approaching you, you may be what you don't want.
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    Nov 23, 2011 12:02 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.
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    Nov 23, 2011 12:09 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    You beat me to it. So this poster admits that fems are affectionate and better in bed, assumes none of them like sports (which isn't true), and then won't date one because he'll be embarrassed?

    To the OP, if you've just come out, don't drive yourself crazy trying to find "Mr. Right." Build friendships, go out, find groups where gay guys share your interests, and lose your anti-femme bias and you'll be fine.
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    Nov 23, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    And if you really want to find out about sports, start watching them.

    I hated sports growing up. I didn't actually start liking them until I lived with three straight guys and attended a major university that was all-about football.

    Sports are not this scary thing. They can be really exciting not to mention how many good-looking guys are on any given team. For example, the Redskins/Cowboys game from Sunday was really good. With 14 seconds left on the clock, the Redskins scored. They had to go into overtime. As for the hot guys, where else can you see guys in spandex with amazing bodies?

    Baseball and basketball are just as fun. Baseball, can be boring, I usually just leave the game on while I do other stuff.

    And March Madness is such an exciting time. Kansas is an amazing school, and does a great job every year.

    The NBA semi-finals and finals are an exciting time, too.

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    Nov 23, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    Wow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.
  • Bowyn_Aerrow

    Posts: 357

    Nov 23, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    Conspicious saidI just recently came out. I haven't dated or hooked up with any guys, but the problem I seem to be having is that most masc guys don't really give you the time of day if your not super buff or an insane sports fanatic. I know every person has their own taste and preference, but I had no idea gay dating or flirting would be just as hard as when I was trying to do "straight" dating. I just joined a gym so i've been working out much more....body will improve over time.
    I've never found the fem gay guys attractive and those are the ones that always hit on me. Am I doing something wrong? Or is this a universal thing? And not to discredit any feminine guys, but we are MEN and should act like MEN; Maybe its all in my head...i don't know. Any feedback would be great.


    I had no trouble finding masculine men, I am rather slender - even downright skinny for most of my life. Deep voiced and I never adopted the gay language. Many times I have been accused of being straight.

    I caught more 'buff' guys by ignoring them then by flirting with them. icon_lol.gif If I was at a bar by myself I played pool or the pin ball machine... its amazing how many guys get offended when your head doesn't turn to face them when they walk into a room, or how you just fail to fall on your knees before them and worship their muscles. It annoys them, gets their attention then suddenly they are the ones needing you, not the other way around.

    They approach you, then engage you, just a casual glance and turning your head back to the table gets them all feisty.

    Unfortunately this says a lot about them, a decent chunk get into having the boys and girls salivating over their body, its kind of an ego trip....icon_neutral.gif You refusal to play their game peaks their interest.

    I attract all sorts, twinks, fems, chubby, bears, tops, bottoms, etc. The reason why I am so attractive has more to my seeming lack of interest than my boyish good looks.

    Try ignoring them, and see what happens. Don't do the flirting game, if you are at a bar, play pinball or pool, or just drink your drink and make small talk - nothing flirty, no innuendo - You just being a guy who is having a few beers before heading home....








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    Nov 23, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    yeah I "Get it", you're a coward.. A bigoted coward. You admit you like them, but you're only afraid because of what other people would think... You're afraid to be honest with the world and yourself, you'll go on pretending not to understand these flamers, but secretly lust after them.

    Not very hard to get.

    And no, I am not flamboyant in any way. It merely hit close to home because I have to live on this planet with assholes like you.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    Can you switch teams? We don't want you.

    Thanks
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    yeah I "Get it", you're a coward.. A bigoted coward. You admit you like them, but you're only afraid because of what other people would think... You're afraid to be honest with the world and yourself, you'll go on pretending not to understand these flamers, but secretly lust after them.

    Not very hard to get.

    And no, I am not flamboyant in any way. It merely hit close to home because I have to live on this planet with assholes like you.


    Agreed. Anyone who will sleep with someone and not date is a douche, plain and simple. Like you, good sir, you are a douche. To fuck someone and tell them they will never be good to date for who they are is plain and simply a douche move.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    Conspicious saidI just recently came out. I haven't dated or hooked up with any guys, but the problem I seem to be having is that most masc guys don't really give you the time of day if your not super buff or an insane sports fanatic. I know every person has their own taste and preference, but I had no idea gay dating or flirting would be just as hard as when I was trying to do "straight" dating. I just joined a gym so i've been working out much more....body will improve over time.
    I've never found the fem gay guys attractive and those are the ones that always hit on me. Am I doing something wrong? Or is this a universal thing? And not to discredit any feminine guys, but we are MEN and should act like MEN; Maybe its all in my head...i don't know. Any feedback would be great.

    Welcome to my world. As far as fem guys, I could really care less if a guy is masc or feminine as long as the guy is hot and not an asshole.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    Yawn...like you and Chainers matter to me. This is a forum where people can post their opinions. We are all different and should respect others perspective in life. Just because you don't agree, it doesn't mean that you will execute them. I don't have interest in checking your profile, but my guess is you are from North Korea? FYI, here in the US, we have freedom of speech.

    You're a nobody but I will not ask you to leave as I don't have the right LOL. You guys make me laugh. Try again....LOL.



    7Famark said
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    Can you switch teams? We don't want you.

    Thanks
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidStraight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.


    If you've ever had another guy's dick in your hand or your mouth, or vice versa, you're not "straight-acting". Straight-acting means you have sex with chicks.

    If you mean masculine, say masculine.

    And as long as you're ashamed of who you are, don't expect others to respect your opinion. Get it?
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidYawn...like you and Chainers matter to me. This is a forum where people can post their opinions. We are all different and should respect others perspective in life. Just because you don't agree, it doesn't mean that you will execute them. I don't have interest in checking your profile, but my guess is you are from North Korea? FYI, here in the US, we have freedom of speech.

    You're a nobody but I will not ask you to leave as I don't have the right LOL. You guys make me laugh. Try again....LOL.



    7Famark said
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    Can you switch teams? We don't want you.

    Thanks


    Its a public forum dude, dont get upset when you act like a tool if we call you a tool. Dont like it? Then dont act like a tool. Get it? Good.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    I'm a nobody?

    You have less than 100 posts, and one picture. . .yet, I am the nobody? That makes sense.

    We should all respect each others' opinions? Why the fuck should we do that? And after saying that, you subsequently disrespected my opinion, way to be a hypocrite.

    Your opinions are stupid, and therefore, not worth respecting. Hooking up with someone, and thinking they are "not worthy" of you in some way, is beyond fucked up.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:01 AM GMT
    All I can say is grow a pair man. I seem to hit a nerve. That was insensitive of me. I am very open about myself. Like I said, that is my perspective and that does not make it wrong.

    Anyway, that's your opinion. It's respected. But to be honest, I don't give a damn. icon_cool.gif





    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    yeah I "Get it", you're a coward.. A bigoted coward. You admit you like them, but you're only afraid because of what other people would think... You're afraid to be honest with the world and yourself, you'll go on pretending not to understand these flamers, but secretly lust after them.

    Not very hard to get.

    And no, I am not flamboyant in any way. It merely hit close to home because I have to live on this planet with assholes like you.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    7Famark saidI'm a nobody?

    You have less than 100 posts, and one picture. . .yet, I am the nobody? That makes sense.

    We should all respect each others' opinions? Why the fuck should we do that? And after saying that, you subsequently disrespected my opinion, way to be a hypocrite.

    Your opinions are stupid, and therefore, not worth respecting. Hooking up with someone, and thinking they are "not worthy" of you in some way, is beyond fucked up.


    Completely agree. I hope to God some white guy uses your ass then tells you your not worthy of anything else. You deserve nothing more than that.

    Seriously, why do some guys have to be a clear POS?
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    You need some counseling. When I say you're a nobody, it means that you don't matter to me. Anything you say will not hurt me. You should do the same thing to me. It seems that I have really upset you based on your comments LOL.

    FYI, many people do hookups. You can be compared to the Republicans. You seem to think that if someone's belief is different from you, they are totally fucked up.

    Oh well, that's your opinion. It's noted! haha

    7Famark saidI'm a nobody?

    You have less than 100 posts, and one picture. . .yet, I am the nobody? That makes sense.

    We should all respect each others' opinions? Why the fuck should we do that? And after saying that, you subsequently disrespected my opinion, way to be a hypocrite.

    Your opinions are stupid, and therefore, not worth respecting. Hooking up with someone, and thinking they are "not worthy" of you in some way, is beyond fucked up.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    Omg, I don't matter to a random troll on the internet with internalized homophobia issues? I could cry.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Do I sound like I'm upset? You make me laugh. Read my replies. I'm basically just explaining but not getting upset. You guys are the ones getting upset.

    Chainers said
    surfrider28 saidYawn...like you and Chainers matter to me. This is a forum where people can post their opinions. We are all different and should respect others perspective in life. Just because you don't agree, it doesn't mean that you will execute them. I don't have interest in checking your profile, but my guess is you are from North Korea? FYI, here in the US, we have freedom of speech.

    You're a nobody but I will not ask you to leave as I don't have the right LOL. You guys make me laugh. Try again....LOL.



    7Famark said
    surfrider28 saidWow, it's just an opinion both of you...LOL. If I hit a nerve, sorry haha !!

    Straight acting means not feminine which means not wearing make up and dressing like a girl and not have some wrist issues LOL. It means that when you walk on the street, nobody would even think that you like dudes.

    Finally, yes, it's my problem because I am not out. I tend to find guys like me who are not out and we show the world that we are best buddies but in private, we love each other.

    Calm down. I respect and love fems for hookup but not as bf material. Get it? icon_twisted.gif


    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    Can you switch teams? We don't want you.

    Thanks


    Its a public forum dude, dont get upset when you act like a tool if we call you a tool. Dont like it? Then dont act like a tool. Get it? Good.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:16 AM GMT
    You've come to the wrong place, prepare to be judged and insulted.

    My thoughts are that people who are super buff ands sporty (THE MAJORITY) tend to really take that saying "you attract what you are" to heart. So if you are not in the slightest like them they'll give you the time of day they give the ground they walk on.

    I guess just keep looking and don’t loose hope there are bound be some good buff guys out there who are willing to get to know you beyond your body image. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Wow, I never thought that expressing my opinions would upset many people. I even apologized if I hit a nerve in the very beginning (read again).

    Anyway, I will not go back to this thread as by responding to your attacks, I'm only fueling the fire. I'm a cool and laid back guy and I don't have interest in picking girly fights with people who can't take criticisms or people who are not tolerant of other people's beliefs. You have a lot of growing up to do.

    Good luck and I apologized to all of you who may have been offended by my comments. icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier said
    surfrider28 saidAgreed. The OP is too picky LOL. For me, I am straight acting and I usually only want straight acting guys as I want to hang out with them outside the bedroom and not feel embarrassed. However, I do think the fem guys are very affectionate and better in bed. I've hooked up with one and it was one of the best as he knows what he's doing. I just can't imagine myself being his bf as I will not be comfortable introducing him to my friends as my "buddy."


    Straight-acting, huh? Define "Gay acting"... Please.

    Also - most of the bullshit about being embarrassed and introducing him as your "buddy" sounds entirely like your problem.


    This is where the split between me and many of my friends and family again... the social shame that is inherent in me being gay and out is a point of contention... No I am not flamboyant and ppl have a hard time believing I am gay, but I am out, i hang with flamboyant men, and I go to gay parties.. that in itself is cause for society to talk and give a source of shame.. I can/t say can blame ppl that have a problem and feel ashamed about male femininity, because its engrained in them by society.. but I can howeverm, disagree with them and expect ppl to better themselves and try to make a difference in society instead of "playing along" with everybody's expectations.. because if we keep doing that, nothing will change, and we would still be stoned today
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:28 AM GMT
    surfrider28 saidWow, I never thought that expressing my opinions would upset many people. I even apologized if I hit a nerve in the very beginning (read again).

    Anyway, I will not go back to this thread as by responding to your attacks, I'm only fueling the fire. I'm a cool and laid back guy and I don't have interest in picking girly fights with people who can't take criticisms or people who are not tolerant of other people's beliefs. You have a lot of growing up to do.

    Good luck and I apologized to all of you who may have been offended by my comments. icon_sad.gif

    LOL your first post was funny, as fucked up and judgmental as it came off. But the funny thing is usually guys on here attack the idea of effeminacy, yet when you say you don't like effeminate gay guys (something that is basically a universal principle amongst us RJ-ers) you get attacked. Double standard going on here. I believe so.

    Anyways you'd be wise to carefully word your posts when it comes to matters of this sort here. icon_smile.gif