HOW RUDE IS THIS?????

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:48 AM GMT
    dude alright... i get it but at the same time i don't like it. why is it that everytime someone emails another person, and if they don't like them right off the bat they will not respond and just ignore?

    is this just a nice way of putting it or have they no manner?

    Is first impression the last one?

    I personally don't really mind this. after all i am just here to network with some friends. that's about it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 5:55 AM GMT
    Well you have to remember that the person did not solicite the email. I send emails out all the time and don't get a response. And honestly, I couldn't care less.

    Why is it that just because you send an email to someone, the other guy is an asshole if he doesn't respond?

    In a day, I will get up to 150 emails. I can't possible respond to everyone.

    But that's just my opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 6:01 AM GMT
    You'll meet a wide range of people here, NEWBIE. Some will write back, and some might not. You seem like a pretty nice guy from your emails, and most of the guys I've talked to here (who are all active forum posters) would at least have the courtesy to reply in turn.

    Keep in mind, also, that sometimes guys get messages and read them, but don't write back right away for a number of reasons. Polobutt had a good point. In my own experience, sometimes I'm rushed for time checking mail, for instance, and don't want to hurry a reply...and then I forget that I didn't reply. I just did that to a couple folks over the weekend...luckily they're pretty understanding guys. icon_redface.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 6:02 AM GMT
    I don't believe that any unsolicited correspondence, be it in the post or online, demands a reply.

    Courtesy is something to be given and not something to be expected. If I write to someone certain in the knowledge that it is their obligation to reply to me then I have, in effect, put an item on their to-do list. That is hardly courteous.

    However, if I write to someone and satisfy myself with being happy should they choose to reply or not, then I am acting courteously and probably have a better chance of getting a reply.

    Salute,
    Terry
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Jun 04, 2008 7:16 AM GMT
    It's not rude...time is precious and if they aren't interested sometimes the best way is no response. This IS the internet.
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    Jun 04, 2008 10:42 AM GMT
    polobutt saidWell you have to remember that the person did not solicite the email. I send emails out all the time and don't get a response. And honestly, I couldn't care less.

    Why is it that just because you send an email to someone, the other guy is an asshole if he doesn't respond?

    In a day, I will get up to 150 emails. I can't possible respond to everyone.

    But that's just my opinion.



    150 emails? damn dude you must be doin something right! I get like one. haha. whatever, i was never popular in high school either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 10:50 AM GMT
    Hey, NEWBIE... don't be disappointed! I've got a hottie replying back to an e-mail I sent him a couple of months back.
    Love,
    Charlotte icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 11:05 AM GMT
    javaman9999 said150 emails? damn dude you must be doin something right! I get like one. haha. whatever, i was never popular in high school either.

    Hell, you'd get more than that if you're subcribed to various porn sites, but I'm never kind to spam.icon_mad.gif
    (java)Man, I can' help iticon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 04, 2008 11:42 AM GMT
    Well Newbie, just to add to what has already been said...

    In an online forum like this, some don't feel the need to utilize basic polite behavior that most of us have learned and is accepted in society. There is a degree of anonymity here and thus some just feel, why bother?
    Its unfortunate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 11:49 AM GMT
    I agree with you, N E W B I E.

    Even though it's not required that you reply an email, it doesn't kill you if you take 30 seconds out of your time to reply to someone. Even if it's a one liner. Especially when people compliment something they saw in your profile (be it looks, music, profile itself, etc)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 12:08 PM GMT
    But mama tole me not to talk to strangers...

    frogxm1.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 1:16 PM GMT
    Sedative saidBut mama tole me not to talk to strangers...

    frogxm1.jpg


    ...and I get complaints about the LOLcats ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 1:17 PM GMT
    I would like to see a typical email that you send out.

    No identifying information, but your standard wording or examples of different ones you have sent out, if they vary.

    Maybe it is the email that is putting the guys off.



    For me, it is the amount of effort a guy put into the email. If he really made an effort to write something to me, then I definitely respond. If he wasnt anymore inspired than to just write "hi" or "sup," then I figure he wont be too crushed when I shitcan it along with the rest of that ilk.
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    Jun 04, 2008 1:24 PM GMT
    Caslon4000 saidI would like to see a typical email that you send out.

    No identifying information, but your standard wording or examples of different ones you have sent out, if they vary.

    Maybe it is the email that is putting the guys off.


    His emails are quite pleasant and actually say something beyond the most generic.
  • Teacherguy

    Posts: 150

    Jun 04, 2008 2:30 PM GMT
    I have to admit that i'm an email addict at times....i'd love to get 150 emails....i love readin them....its a great excuse for procrastination.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:11 PM GMT
    i get enough emails here and elsewhere that with my schedule, i don't have time to respond to the ones that rub me the wrong way. the more thought or effort that goes into an email, the more likely i am to respond. one liners asking me how i'm doing are usually passed over. also, emails that violate what i put down in my profile, such as soliciting for 'camming,' are promptly ignored.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:12 PM GMT
    well the majority of them are for work, but I still go through everyone of them, weeding out the important from the junk.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:51 PM GMT
    i just sent out one-liners to a few here............. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Jun 04, 2008 4:01 PM GMT
    I agree that the amount of effort someone puts into an unsolicited email makes a huge difference on whether or not I will respond. If someone just sends me a quick note like "Love you're body, wanna fuck?", it's promptly ignored. If they pay me a compliment and aren't including any innuendo, I usually send off a quick "Thank you" at the minimum. Sometimes I get emails asking me about my nutrition or supplements I may be taking (I don't take any by the way), or workout regimen, and when that happens I always take the time to answer back with any helpful info I might be able to contribute because, after all, this site is called "RealJock", and for me it's more about sports, nutrition, health & fitness etc., and that common thread we all share, not hooking up, so any help in those areas I can contribute I am always happy to. That said, I've sent off emails unsolicited to others too that have been ignored. I'm sure it happens to everybody, so don't take it personally.
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    Jun 04, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    Teacherguy saidI have to admit that i'm an email addict at times....i'd love to get 150 emails....i love readin them....its a great excuse for procrastination.


    You can have my inboxes then. I get anywhere from 200-600 emails a day (*actual inbox messages that get past spam filters*). If I go on vacation for a week it takes me 6-8hrs to catch-up.

    For me if it has fw: in the subject its deleted. If its someone I dont know it gets deleted, exception is if the subject notes something to me. IE tony, this is blahblah from rj then I read them. Note I read them then. Depending on what it says inside I may or may not respond. I dont respond to 1 liners. I dont respond to compliment messages or pervs *sometimes they are one in the same*.

    The thing is alot of people myself included often dont believe a response is warranted for most email, especially when it is unsolicited. If you send me a nice email complimenting profile or body, 99.8% of the time Im not going to respond. If you send me a polite email asking questions then Im more likely to respond. Its not that Im rude its just I dont like wasting time responding to unsolicited emails when Im getting hundreds + a day. In truth Im more likely to respond to a forum topic asking me questions rather then an email.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 04, 2008 8:01 PM GMT
    Newbie, there have been many forum threads here about that very issue including one I started which got me both nice responses publicly, and some thoughtful ones disagreeing and a few hate mails as well.

    Because I was raised to be respectful and courteous to all that are nice to you, I ALWAYS respond to contacts via Email, IMs or whatever BUT I also realize that I am way out of the dating pool here to most guys so I get a small amount compared to the popular guys here.... 150/day? Damn! hahahah


    It comes down to the simple fact that most of the younger guys here think it is perfectly OK to NOT respond to email they receive UNLESS they think the guy is "hot" in their eyes and even if the Email is responding to the fact that they write in their profile words to the effect of "drop me a line if interested" or "ask me in private about ____ " Apparently the internet age has stripped many of us of common courtesy and respect BUT they do NOT see it that way and fortunately there are many really good people here that are nice guys and will respond when they can to normal mail other than "nice looking let's fuck" kind of come-ons.

    At least YOU are a nice person and please don't be discouraged and put off personally by the fact that you don't get responses from the majority of guys here,

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 8:32 PM GMT
    I wouldn’t take it personally. It’s rare when someone doesn’t respond to one of my messages but then again I don’t send that many. But it does happen. I realize that many people do not practice online etiquette but I really can’t blame them because even my mom and dad ignore ppl online. Yup....i didn’t know they had it in them either.

    Unlike many people here I actually take the time to respond to unsolicited emails. I think, if you took the time to send me one then I should send one in return whether it be a compliment, something sexually inappropriate or a question. I even respond to “Are you horny?” IMs but don’t expect me to help you out. I just don’t believe that people should be ignored whatever their reasons for contacting you...I don’t know. It’s just the way I am.

    (I might just start following everybody else.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    I used to take myself as seriously as you do now... than life happened and I've got common sense and logic to help guide me on. I personally wouldn't care if someone didn't respond to me, life happens. It's not worth throwing the possibility of a would be friendship or worth worrying about if it goes south for you both. There are plenty of fish in the sea and only so many hours in the day. Make them good ones and lighten up a bit, this isn't Gay.com 2.0. And I mean that in a humorous way, not an insulting way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 8:44 PM GMT
    I don't get enough e-mails on RJ to have the excuse of not answering. I can understand some of the young RJ studs not having the time though. If I was getting that many I would have to be selective on who I answered back.

    When I send someone an e-mail it is usually to compliment them on a comment they made or to offer my help if they have an issue. I am not trying to butter them up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 8:48 PM GMT
    It counts for extra points for me when it's obvious somebody's read my profile or posts before writing me, rather than seeing my random profile pic and hitting the email button without reading first.

    Compliments are nice and appreciated when the emailer's intentions are made clear with a "I know you have a boyfriend so don't think I'm hitting on you, but..." It shows a bit of class, and most likely guarantees a response.