A table full of gays.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2011 7:21 AM GMT
    Recently my bf planned a social gathering at a local restaurant/bar for a friend of ours for his bday. Apparently about 20 guys showed up.

    I couldnt go, I had to work but he told me there were 5 couples there and 1 person out of each of the couples had contacted him on a4a in the past for a hookup saying they were single when obviously they werent because theyd been in the relationship for a long time.

    His profile had a faceless pic so they didnt know it was him even now.

    Its very disheartening for me the amount of lying & cheating going on in any relationship much less gay ones. If guys wanna sleep around why not be single? I just dont understand it.

    Makes me wanna give up on trust, love & monogamy sometimes.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    You think that lying and cheating are limited to same-sex relationships?

    They are not.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    You can't assume you know the dynamics of their relationships....Maybe they have open arrangements, maybe they weren't together at that time. Unless there was a discussion about how long each couple had been together, I don't think it is fair to assume that they were all in relationships when they hit him up on A4A. I'm not naive, and I'm sure that some of them were. . .but don't give up on monogamy, haha. That is a little drastic.

    All I can say is that there are definitely people out there that believe in monogamy, and are willing to make that commitment to another person.

    This post begs the question, for me, you judge these other couples for being on A4A while they were in a relationship. . .but your boyfriend received the messages, so he clearly still uses it, and that doesn't bother you?

    Pot. . .meet kettle?
  • calibro

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    Nov 23, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    didn't your bf cheat on you, give you HIV, and a do whole lot of other shitty stuff... and then you took him back?
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:04 PM GMT

    "Makes me wanna give up on trust, love & monogamy sometimes."

    I think that would upset your BF very much. Why would you even think about giving up when it's the relationships of some others that are having problems?

    icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    We've encountered the same thing. Meet couples who says they are monogamous only to have one or both hit on us when the other isn't around. I don't mind when it happens when they say they are in an open relationship, that's fine, that's what works for them. But when we say we're monogamous and you say the same, kind of insulting to attempt to get either of us in bed.

    Don't give up on it though, we also know 4 couples who are in closed relationships, as happy as us and we are all great friends! So it does really exist!
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:47 PM GMT
    I find this concept interesting. Maybe people feel like open relationships are too taboo so they say they want monogamy but then don't carry this out.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    7Famark saidYou can't assume you know the dynamics of their relationships....Maybe they have open arrangements. . .but don't give up on monogamy

    I agree with this but also, define monogamy. Monogamous love or monogamous sex? They're two different things, in my opinion.
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    Nov 23, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    I was at a dinner last year with a couple I am friends with, another couple that was visiting them from out of town, and another friend of the visiting couple. One of the guys in the visiting couple and his local friend were talking to guys on Grindr while the boyfriend was busy talking to my friends. They have since broken up.
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    Nov 23, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    calibro saiddidn't your bf cheat on you, give you HIV, and a do whole lot of other shitty stuff... and then you took him back?


    No im no longer with that guy. Havent tlked to him in almost a year. This guy ive been dating for abt 6 mnths, hes no longer on a4a. The individuals in the couples hit on him before we were together.

    They also wld tell him their "room mate" was outta town...uh huh. We know these couples, they dont hve a so called open relationship.

    It saddens me this is going on. And i realize its not just in same sex couples but this is what i experiencced recently.

    Seems like no one is true to their word or commitments any more, kinda sad. Trust me I know from my last bf.....as u stated.