Mentorship for non-fit guys on here... what if??

  • humblejock

    Posts: 17

    Nov 23, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    Hi Guys, so a lot of us are so fit, healthy and smart but how do we give back to our gay community? I wanted to start a way that every hot, muscular, super-fit guy on here pairs with a guy who is not so fit and is discouraged to even work out or eat nutritious foods or even make greater healthier choices in life. I am suggesting that we create a #RealJockFund (or something like that) for guys who are willing to learn about nutrition and have a guy on here mentor them via online messages or meet up locally. What do you think?

    When I first met my boyfriend (we were friends first) I was in love by his personality but totally disgusted by his 280lbs weight. I was shallow, very shallow indeed. We moved in together as roommates and I saw all his bad habits and was like "how can I help him eat healthier and look better?" but I always nagged "ughh, you should go to the gym, guys may like you more" (I know awful, disgusting attitude).

    I had that expectation from him without constructively addressing how he can attain his goals so I took him to the gym with me. I helped him learn about nutrition, what foods are good for him and which ones are bad. I sat with him and analyzed his eating habits (especially after living together, it was awfully apparent what my shopping cart looked like and what his...) In the process we learned so much more about each other. I took him through the withdrawals of "I dont want to go to the gym today" and blah blah but we managed. We were good friends and now have become great partners.

    I am not saying that the guy you find you should date or any of that but someone who is struggling and you can be a mentor to. A lot of guys who need exercise are often rejected on here by nasty comments or are completely ignored which has a great impact in their lives. Let's make a small difference and help our fellow gays be healthy and look sexy!

    Let's all be really Real Jocks icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 11:16 AM GMT
    I like the idea, humblejock. Cheers to you for putting it out here for others to consider. I'm on board. Now how do we get this ball rolling?

    I don't train with weights. I cycle, but I can offer a good bit about exercise, diet, and living healthy lifestyles.
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    Nov 23, 2011 12:45 PM GMT
    As an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed. icon_wink.gif
  • humblejock

    Posts: 17

    Nov 23, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    berkco01 saidI like the idea, humblejock. Cheers to you for putting it out here for others to consider. I'm on board. Now how do we get this ball rolling?

    I don't train with weights. I cycle, but I can offer a good bit about exercise, diet, and living healthy lifestyles.


    That's why I come to you guys to sort of brainstorm and come up with a better way to reach out to these guys. Your advice will be plentiful to a lot of people. So perhaps we can a matching-kind-of approach where you guys can list what you are good at and people can select you as mentors based on these factors.

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed.


    I dont think that's helpful at all. This is not a survival of fittest contest. This is a collective approach to helping our fellow gaymen be fit and healthy.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    humblejock said
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed.


    I dont think that's helpful at all. This is not a survival of fittest contest. This is a collective approach to helping our fellow gaymen be fit and healthy.
    Actually it's the most helpful response possible. I don't mind answering questions and offering tips when asked, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to motivate someone who refuses to motivate himself. If a person wants it bad enough, they'll find a way to make it happen without a mentor.
  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    Nov 23, 2011 2:06 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed. icon_wink.gif


    ^conservative philosophy in a nutshell...

    Paul...you're not going to increase the amount of guys with big hot biceps to flex with maintaining that attitude...icon_razz.gif
  • humblejock

    Posts: 17

    Nov 23, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    humblejock said
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed.


    I dont think that's helpful at all. This is not a survival of fittest contest. This is a collective approach to helping our fellow gaymen be fit and healthy.
    Actually it's the most helpful response possible. I don't mind answering questions and offering tips when asked, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to motivate someone who refuses to motivate himself. If a person wants it bad enough, they'll find a way to make it happen without a mentor.


    But a lot of people don't know they want to be healthy because they havent been privileged enough to grow up with that mindset and attitude. Your comments are very selfish.
  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    Nov 23, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    humblejock said I wanted to start a way that every hot, muscular, super-fit guy on here pairs with a guy who is not so fit


    muscular does not equal fit...fyi

    Some of us like a lean body look :-)
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed. icon_wink.gif


    LOL.... wow... if only we could all be as perfect and independent as you!

    The world is a better place with people such as yourself who refuse to extend themselves to others! Next time you have car trouble and are stranded on the side of the road and your cell phone is dead, make sure you don't ask anyone for help, because somehow it must all be your own fault.

    icon_rolleyes.gif


    In any case, I think the mentorship is a really nice idea. I guess it would have to be implemented individually, but maybe there could be a separate thread for people who want advice, tips and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, free of nasty comments...
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    humblejock said
    paulflexes said
    humblejock said
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed.


    I dont think that's helpful at all. This is not a survival of fittest contest. This is a collective approach to helping our fellow gaymen be fit and healthy.
    Actually it's the most helpful response possible. I don't mind answering questions and offering tips when asked, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to motivate someone who refuses to motivate himself. If a person wants it bad enough, they'll find a way to make it happen without a mentor.


    But a lot of people don't know they want to be healthy because they havent been privileged enough to grow up with that mindset and attitude. Your comments are very selfish.
    Re-read the first sentence of my first reply.

    People who've been around me a few years watched my transformation, and most started asking questions. They, too, got in better shape as a result; and I applaud their effort and accomplishment.

    As for mentoring strangers online, as I said, answering questions and giving tips is no problem. The problem is when I take some strangers hand and spend hours trying to talk them into doing something they don't want to do.
  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Nov 23, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    http://youtu.be/VKs0oEIVOck

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    Nov 23, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    Not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I totally agree that we have the capacity to set an example and can help someone achieve their fitness goals. . .but on the other hand, I feel like that help should only be extended to someone that asks for it. I had a friend in high school that was clinically obese, and I went to great lengths to encourage him to lose weight - but at the end of the day, he wasn't motivated to, and it was wrong of me to presume that my opinion of how he should live his life was "more correct" than his.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    jimjock7 saidhttp://youtu.be/VKs0oEIVOck

    <3
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:53 PM GMT
    Why do you apologize so much? It's not necessarily "shallow" to not like the way someone looks. It's not a "disgusting attitude," at least IMO.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    This is an awesome idea! Kudos to humblejock for offering one of the best gifts out there for free!

    Is it possible that the RJ members willing to offer advice etc. might already have been in contact with a fellow member "in need"? You could pursue your protege via your own profile and who's shown interest. A simple "Hey, I noticed you've set some goals for yourself on your profile and was wondering if you wanted any help achieving them" (or something like that!)

    I know that I personally would love to have a gym buddy who I could rely on to always be going when I SHOULD be going. Even just a text asking if I'm coming along that day would be motivation enough; just nice to know someone else is putting themselves through it too. I also have a very busy life right now and the gym always seems to get the cut first. If it became a routine that I could just add into my current schedule then OTHER things would get moved around for the GYM.

    Just my thoughts icon_smile.gif
  • SanEsteban

    Posts: 454

    Nov 23, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    humblejock saidHi Guys, so a lot of us are so fit, healthy and smart but how do we give back to our gay community? I wanted to start a way that every hot, muscular, super-fit guy on here pairs with a guy who is not so fit and is discouraged to even work out or eat nutritious foods or even make greater healthier choices in life. I am suggesting that we create a #RealJockFund (or something like that) for guys who are willing to learn about nutrition and have a guy on here mentor them via online messages or meet up locally. What do you think?

    When I first met my boyfriend (we were friends first) I was in love by his personality but totally disgusted by his 280lbs weight. I was shallow, very shallow indeed. We moved in together as roommates and I saw all his bad habits and was like "how can I help him eat healthier and look better?" but I always nagged "ughh, you should go to the gym, guys may like you more" (I know awful, disgusting attitude).

    I had that expectation from him without constructively addressing how he can attain his goals so I took him to the gym with me. I helped him learn about nutrition, what foods are good for him and which ones are bad. I sat with him and analyzed his eating habits (especially after living together, it was awfully apparent what my shopping cart looked like and what his...) In the process we learned so much more about each other. I took him through the withdrawals of "I dont want to go to the gym today" and blah blah but we managed. We were good friends and now have become great partners.

    I am not saying that the guy you find you should date or any of that but someone who is struggling and you can be a mentor to. A lot of guys who need exercise are often rejected on here by nasty comments or are completely ignored which has a great impact in their lives. Let's make a small difference and help our fellow gays be healthy and look sexy!

    Let's all be really Real Jocks icon_biggrin.gif


    I think this idea is a very good one. I know I could help someone quite a bit BUT I know others could help me improve myself more also. There is always something to learn and having someone to encourage you to progress is a wonderful thing. I think it is a great idea. I would love to help someone and also receive suggestions myself!
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    JakeGHK saidThere are no chubby guys here. Theyve all left.


    >.>
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    jerbear89 saidThis is an awesome idea! Kudos to humblejock for offering one of the best gifts out there for free!

    Is it possible that the RJ members willing to offer advice etc. might already have been in contact with a fellow member "in need"? You could pursue your protege via your own profile and who's shown interest. A simple "Hey, I noticed you've set some goals for yourself on your profile and was wondering if you wanted any help achieving them" (or something like that!)

    I know that I personally would love to have a gym buddy who I could rely on to always be going when I SHOULD be going. Even just a text asking if I'm coming along that day would be motivation enough; just nice to know someone else is putting themselves through it too. I also have a very busy life right now and the gym always seems to get the cut first. If it became a routine that I could just add into my current schedule then OTHER things would get moved around for the GYM.

    Just my thoughts icon_smile.gif


    It is definitely way easier to stick to goals when you are training with someone. It is a lot easier to tell other people "I can't do that now, I need to be at the gym" when someone is meeting you there. Otherwise there is always the temptation to push it off. I am actually in the process of stepping away from some other commitments because they eat into my gym time too much.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    7Famark saidNot sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I totally agree that we have the capacity to set an example and can help someone achieve their fitness goals. . .but on the other hand, I feel like that help should only be extended to someone that asks for it. I had a friend in high school that was clinically obese, and I went to great lengths to encourage him to lose weight - but at the end of the day, he wasn't motivated to, and it was wrong of me to presume that my opinion of how he should live his life was "more correct" than his.


    This. For as selfless as your initiative is, it's very egotistical to assume that everyone wants your lifestyle. That's just not how it is. If someone is content being fat, then he will be fat. Nothing I can do can change that. The motivation needs to come from within.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    I don't agree with this part of your OP.

    "A lot of guys who need exercise are often rejected on here by nasty comments or are completely ignored which has a great impact in their lives. Let's make a small difference and help our fellow gays be healthy and look sexy! "

    I have found that the outta shape guys on here who are genuinely on this website looking for advice, showing their progress, etc get a lot of support and accolades for their efforts. It's just that this website is also chock a block full of flakes, pretenders, guys who you can tell have no real intention of ever trying, dumb-asses that pop in ask a question, get a lot of good answers and then you never hear from them again.. and it keeps repeating,, it gets tiresome.
    But the guys that are sincere (and there are fewer and fewer of them as this site is currently morphinginto a fag rag devoid of any of it's original premise),, they don't get put down.



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    Nov 23, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    7Famark saidNot sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I totally agree that we have the capacity to set an example and can help someone achieve their fitness goals. . .but on the other hand, I feel like that help should only be extended to someone that asks for it. I had a friend in high school that was clinically obese, and I went to great lengths to encourage him to lose weight - but at the end of the day, he wasn't motivated to, and it was wrong of me to presume that my opinion of how he should live his life was "more correct" than his.


    This. For as selfless as your initiative is, it's very egotistical to assume that everyone wants your lifestyle. That's just not how it is. If someone is content being fat, then he will be fat. Nothing I can do can change that. The motivation needs to come from within.


    I'd assume that the "Befores" would have to want to opt in, and the "After" who was mentoring them would know right quick if they were trying or not.

    Might I suggest that rather than reinventing the wheel, guys who want to do this use a site like dailyburn which has the ability to track workouts and nutrition and share your info with another user?
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    Is this thread a joke?icon_neutral.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    I agree that motivation must ultimately come from within, and that everyone's goals are different, but I can't see anything wrong with a buddy system. Sometimes it does help becoming accountable to another person in addition to yourself when faced with that chocolate donut.

    Maybe a simple way to do it is to create a thread and that anyone interested in being a mentor, post to the thread, maybe saying what area of help or encouragement they would concentrate on. Then anyone would feel free to message them without fear of getting their head chewed off. If they paired up and the mentor did not want to take on anyone else at the time, he would delete his message in the thread.

    A separate thread could be maintained for general discussion, hopefully success stories.
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    Nov 23, 2011 4:21 PM GMT
    DAMN BODY NAZI'S !!!!!!!

    icon_biggrin.gif

    There isn't a lack of information out there on how to achieve an amazing body, but the net can only do so much.

    This sort of thing would only be beneficial in real life, say if u lived close to a guy who was wanting to get really fit but I don't get what you guys can really contribute here.........
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    Nov 23, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidAs an ex-fatass (lost 70 lbs), I live by example. It was my decision to lose the weight and put on some muscle...a goal which was reached back in May. Since then I've simply maintained within 4 lbs.

    As much as I enjoy teaching, I'm not going to waste my time trying to hold someone's hand who has no self-motivation. If they don't think they can do it, they can't. If they do, they can. It's that simple. No mentoring needed. icon_wink.gif


    Woah, you need to get off your high ex-fatass horse. Seriously. I'm the same story as you: I was obese, took initiative, lost the weight, took up lifting, etc - did it all on my own. I agree that it's best to lead by example, but what the OP was proposing wasn't to necessarily force you to babysit a couch potato with zero motivation. He was just a suggesting a way for guys who are willing to be mentors to help out guys who are willing to better themselves (ie - those who are motivated) but need some wisdom guidance of someone with experience.