WTF, I said what?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    This is fucked up. Will I ever learn not to trust people.

    A girl at work, who I thought was my friend, is saying I was saying sexual things to her. Sometimes I do, she knows I am gay and I am having fun. Now my supervsior is looking into it.

    My supervsior. who I thought was my friend, she also knows I am gay.

    My supervsior also knows I am seeing a therapist for problems I am having.

    I go to my therapist appointment yesterday, and she says she has a message from my supervsior to call her and let her know if I am manic.

    WTF, is going on. I let people into my life and look what happens.

    I told the therapist, a women, not to tell my supervsior shit, it's none of her business.
    My therapist was more than cool with that.

    I hate my job now. How can I even fuckin work with them. icon_mad.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    Common denominator = Women

    Even straight guys know better than to trust them. Don't think that just because you're gay that they'll treat you any differently.
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    Nov 23, 2011 1:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidCommon denominator = Women

    Even straight guys know better than to trust them. Don't think that just because you're gay that they'll treat you any differently.



    I never let women into my head before, and now look what happens..should I stand up and fight this or just behave better and walk the lineicon_confused.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    Your supervisor is an Orwellian freak. How the hell does she get the idea to ask your therapist to tell her information about you? Sounds like she needs someone to supervise her, a supervisor of the supervisors.
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    Nov 23, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Stan904 saidYour supervisor is an Orwellian freak. How the hell does she get the idea to ask your therapist to tell her information about you? Sounds like she needs someone to supervise her, a supervisor of the supervisors.


    You should think about telling your supervisor that she doesn't have the right to call your therapist to ask for information that is private. And that your therapist would be breaking a federal law by telling her ANYTHING at all. She cannot even tell your boss if you are her patient or not. We therapists are all bound by HIPPA.

    IDK if that would get your into more trouble at work.

    In a way, sadly I'd be more careful about telling co-workers certain things about you. Illnesses such as bipolar disorder carry with them a lot of unnecessary stigma. People could look up the symptoms of mania and see that hypersexual behavior is one of symptoms... So if that's indeed your diagnosis, they can start attributing your behaviors to that, even if your symptoms are adequately managed by medications.

    The best lesson to take away is to never make sexual comments to co-workers, even if they are friends and you are making a joke.... you never know how the comments may come off, or how the other person might feel.

    Good luck.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:03 PM GMT
    Hilldweller said
    paulflexes saidCommon denominator = Women

    Even straight guys know better than to trust them. Don't think that just because you're gay that they'll treat you any differently.



    I never let women into my head before, and now look what happens..should I stand up and fight this or just behave better and walk the lineicon_confused.gif
    That depends on how bad you want to keep your job.
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    That happened to me when I first started at my job here at a very small facility almost 4 years ago. I was only 6 months on the job when I thought this other female employee from another department was "cool" with me making jokes around her and with my other colleagues (I am openly gay to everyone in the facility). I knew that she was ok with jokes especially with sexual innuendo since I've seen and heard her banter back and forth at times with my other partners at work....

    UNTIL the brunt of the joke was her.

    One day, she came up to say hello to us. I noticed that she was wearing a pearl necklace, so my quick tongue uttered, "Oh, that's a nice pearl necklace you are wearing. Did you just get that a few seconds ago?"

    My two other partners bursted out laughing. And so did she. Didn't think anything of it after.

    A few weeks later, I find out from my director that she verbally threatened to file a sexual harassment complaint against me (which didn't get filed away in my records in human services - good thing!) unless I send her an apology.

    I was livid but had to write a letter of apology to her (being careful to leave out the details of what happened).

    Since then, I was cautious around her. I never trusted her since.

    Moral of the story: Women in general are unpredictable. They hold grudges like an elephant in mourning. Us guys, we're like "Bro, you fucking insulted me!" Hits you in the arm, then we're all buddies again.

    Ignore her and let it pass. It'll be awkward the first several weeks or months, but life is too short to hate your job just because of her. Be thankful you have a job, bro! :-)

    Vinny
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    Nov 23, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    The fastest way to broadcast something is to tell a woman.

    The easiest way to spice up your stories is to tell a woman.

    The best way to fuck up your life is to marry a woman.
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    Nov 23, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    Preach!


    waimea saidThe fastest way to broadcast something is to tell a woman.

    The easiest way to spice up your stories is to tell a woman.

    The best way to fuck up your life is to marry a woman.
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    Nov 23, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    There is no reason to befriend a woman. They are completely emotion driven and prone to irrational paranoia and will manipulate you into trusting them so you tell them your secrets and then will use them against you. If the devil exists, he works through women. I also advise never to let anyone from work know anything about or be involved in your personal life. Gotta keep them both seperate.
  • calibro

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    Nov 23, 2011 5:58 PM GMT
    i would actually pursue a claim against your supervisor for calling your therapist because it's highly illegal
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    Nov 23, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    ZbmwM5 said
    Stan904 saidYour supervisor is an Orwellian freak. How the hell does she get the idea to ask your therapist to tell her information about you? Sounds like she needs someone to supervise her, a supervisor of the supervisors.


    You should think about telling your supervisor that she doesn't have the right to call your therapist to ask for information that is private. And that your therapist would be breaking a federal law by telling her ANYTHING at all. She cannot even tell your boss if you are her patient or not. We therapists are all bound by HIPPA.

    IDK if that would get your into more trouble at work.

    In a way, sadly I'd be more careful about telling co-workers certain things about you. Illnesses such as bipolar disorder carry with them a lot of unnecessary stigma. People could look up the symptoms of mania and see that hypersexual behavior is one of symptoms... So if that's indeed your diagnosis, they can start attributing your behaviors to that, even if your symptoms are adequately managed by medications.

    The best lesson to take away is to never make sexual comments to co-workers, even if they are friends and you are making a joke.... you never know how the comments may come off, or how the other person might feel.

    Good luck.



    Don't Fuck with HIPPA! I almost got my ass fired for some stupid shit my friend posted on my face book that was a violation. icon_mad.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    waimea saidThe fastest way to broadcast something is to tell a woman.

    The easiest way to spice up your stories is to tell a woman.

    The best way to fuck up your life is to marry a woman.


    LOL I read in a paper not too long ago about women not being able to keep secrets. in a british survey (3000 women were asked) 85 % of all the women who participated said they usually pass on any confidential gossip they hear. 10 % said they can't keep any kind of secret at all.

    most of the women said they would share other peoples secrets with at least their husbands, mother and best friend, depending on how important/confidential it was.

    13% admit to deliberately gossip to create negative rumours about others.

    32 minutes was the average for keeping a secret.
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    Nov 23, 2011 6:45 PM GMT
    first God made man...then he rested...then HE made a woman...there hasn't been any rest since.....................don't tele-phone,or tele-graph....just tell a woman and the news will spread around............oh and LAsteve...why do you think more women were burned for witchcraft than men?
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    Nov 23, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    I sense a lawsuit....
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    Nov 23, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    WOW, who knew misogyny was the new black?! icon_rolleyes.gif Some of you guys need some serious help.

    Anyways, to the OP, sorry to say it, but sexual harassment laws are pretty clear and making any kind of sexual joke or innuendo at work is just asking for trouble.
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    Nov 23, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    time to call head office. Payback, and now you learnt to keep your trap shut too icon_smile.gif Work is work and coworkers are NOT good friends especially if they work along side you.

    Acquaintance level relationships ONLY.
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    Nov 23, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    Ooops, I seem to have walked in on a top-secret meeting!

    he-man1.png?w=234&h=165
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    Nov 23, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    don't really hate women...just don't trust some women...got burned one too many times by women...a few women have been my best friends...but more than a few have stabbed me in the back.......when i was young,and my mom was going through a severe depression episode...she was bipolar/schizophrenic...she would beat me for little reason...when you grow up that way..you tend to have a little bit of caution toward women in general.it took me years to forgive her...but i finally learned to love her,and i still love her,but i suspect i will always have a little mistrust of women in general.
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    Nov 23, 2011 11:29 PM GMT
    daystroom saidWOW, who knew misogyny was the new black?! icon_rolleyes.gif Some of you guys need some serious help.

    Anyways, to the OP, sorry to say it, but sexual harassment laws are pretty clear and making any kind of sexual joke or innuendo at work is just asking for trouble.


    This. I just don't talk about sex at work. Period.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Nov 23, 2011 11:31 PM GMT
    ....not to say that their behavior was correct, but what made you think it was a good idea to say anything of a sexual nature in a workplace?
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    Nov 23, 2011 11:36 PM GMT
    LASteve90068 saidThere is no reason to befriend a woman. They are completely emotion driven and prone to irrational paranoia and will manipulate you into trusting them so you tell them your secrets and then will use them against you. If the devil exists, he works through women. I also advise never to let anyone from work know anything about or be involved in your personal life. Gotta keep them both seperate.


    I know I made a mistake. In the past I was never friends with women. I moved to a new area and I don't have any guy friends, so I become friends with them. I learned a lesson. There is a therapist at work that is gay, he has a lifepartner, I will talk with him rather than the women. What was I thinking,,,,,,,I could never trust women in the past, so why would I think I can now. icon_exclaim.gif
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    Nov 23, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    h0ck3y_david saiddude..
    boundaries..
    its a place of business, not a club-house..
    keep your head down, work hard.. be low profile..
    if you have to goof around with your co-workers, do it AWAY FROM THE OFFICE..

    ~ cheers..



    you are so right,
    I realize now I was fuck'in alittle over the top, maybe I was horney icon_confused.gif

    I was treating it like a club house.I will be low profile,

    thanks
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    Nov 23, 2011 11:56 PM GMT
    LASteve90068 saidThere is no reason to befriend a woman. They are completely emotion driven and prone to irrational paranoia and will manipulate you into trusting them so you tell them your secrets and then will use them against you. If the devil exists, he works through women. I also advise never to let anyone from work know anything about or be involved in your personal life. Gotta keep them both seperate.

    It was Adam who first found out about women & Satan. But actually a lot of my friends are women, both lesbian & straight. I just never confide anything with them that might come back to bite me, and then we get along quite well. I judge their confidentiality quotient to equal a 5-year-old child's. And the same goes for really queeny gay guys. The swishier they are the more loose-lipped.

    So pick your confidants with care, and as noted, the workplace is usually not a good place for secrets. Knowledge is not only power, but can be used as a destructive weapon by the unscrupulously ambitious.
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    Nov 24, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    Wtf , there is nothing wrong with befriending women. That being said WORK is WORK. What the hell does this have to do with women? Are you guys special K ers?