Dating HIV + or HIV -

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    My circle of friends age group varies from a 23 year old thru my age of 39.

    Recently we were out at dinner and the dicussion of dating someone who was HIV+ came up.

    It was interesting to hear the different replies everyone had. The younger the ages, said they
    would not and the people closer to my age said they would.

    The question I pose to all age groups on here is, would you date an HIV+ guy and if not why?

    Be honest.

    My answer to the question (knowing all I know) is yes I would date someone HIV+.

    The reason I say be honest is because there may be some guys out there that really don't know all there is to know and some of the myths can be broken.

    Thanks!
    PS To all those coming to Orlando for Gay Days, say "Yo" if ya see me haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 3:53 PM GMT
    i would say no under the circumstance that i do not who the person is...if i just recently met a person who happens to be HIV+, i would pursue a friendship, but not an emotional relationship (let alone physical) because i do not want to be infected and i dont not want to put my life on the line...

    but lets say im dating a guy who turns out to be HIV+ after a while of dating, i would not leave him, i would stick with him and support him, especially if i love the guy and i invested in a relationship....so it depends on the situation.....its not like id go hunting for guys with HIV
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 04, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    Well its always easy to ponder a question when it isn't reality isn't it?

    The reality is, it would depend on that individual.
    His approach to life, concern for others and view of his status. If he has a healthy approach, I would have no problem with dating him. One just follows
    certain behaviors to make sure the other party remains negative. If they guy is worth it, take the time and do whats necessary.

    If the individual has an attitude or behavior that
    shows a lack of respect toward himself or others, I doubt if I would be interested... on a variety of levels.
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    Jun 04, 2008 4:37 PM GMT
    I wouldn't reject someone for being HIV+ but I would go looking for one either.

    I would ask him to take it slowly, if I'm going to be with him, I want to know I'm not just "any" guy but "the" guy. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    This question was asked in another thread and I had answer my opinion though not in the detail of my personal experience here.

    When I was looking for a potential life long relationship the question of HIV status doesnt come up. For me its friendship first and expand from there. When sex begins to come into play then Status comes up along with questions inquiring to STD testing and number of sexual partners. I still get tested every 6 months and expect no less of my partner. I still take my husband with me and we get tested even though it is a monogamous relationship and has been for 3.5 years.
  • olden

    Posts: 194

    Jun 04, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
    I agree with Kansan. It would depend on the individual and his outlook on life.

    Would I enter into a LTR with one is another question. I lost a bf and other friends to AIDS early on. I just don't know if I could go through the heartbreak again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 9:37 PM GMT
    Well since I am HIV+ this topic is near and dear to my heart. I told my present partner I was HIV+ before we became intimate. He had already thought about whether he would date an HIV+ person, so that barrier was easier to get past.

    The fact is many gay men you meet are HIV+ but do not know it, so you might get a bit of a surprise several months after you start dating them. Also, with the new medications HIV+ people can live fairly normal and productive lives. Furthermore an HIV+ person may be more disciplined about how they live their life then a HIV- person if they have a good attitude. They may actually be more attractive to date because they cope with life better, take better care of themselves and know how precious life is.

    Balance the above "positive" attributes with the downsides. Some HIV+ people have trouble coping with the medications. I know that some of my meds cause insomnia which can lead me to be tired and a bit moody at times. Also sexual intimacy needs to be carefully thought out about what each member of the couple is comfortable doing. HIV is actually quite difficult to catch, but you do need to worry about open sores in the mouth for oral sex, and using protection when doing anal.

    If you really do not want to date an HIV+ person then be upfront with him right away, you may hurt his feelings, but it is a lot more painful for him if you dump him at the first sign of potential health problems.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 10:25 PM GMT
    I'm going to say that I would not consider dating someone who is HIV+

    Short answer: paranoia on both ends
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    Jun 04, 2008 11:23 PM GMT
    Eor36 saidMy circle of friends age group varies from a 23 year old thru my age of 39.

    Recently we were out at dinner and the dicussion of dating someone who was HIV+ came up.

    It was interesting to hear the different replies everyone had. The younger the ages, said they
    would not and the people closer to my age said they would.

    The question I pose to all age groups on here is, would you date an HIV+ guy and if not why?

    Be honest.

    My answer to the question (knowing all I know) is yes I would date someone HIV+.

    The reason I say be honest is because there may be some guys out there that really don't know all there is to know and some of the myths can be broken.

    Thanks!
    PS To all those coming to Orlando for Gay Days,
    say "Yo" if ya see me haha.


    Ok my comrade is Hiv+ and we have been together for 8 years. I am one of those guys that believe in solid relationships. It has been difficult, but I still remain supportive.
    Now that it has been said, he allows me a f buddy.
    But we keep it clean and I get checked and also my f buddy knows.

    Strange as it is...it works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2011 8:35 AM GMT
    I did once, probably would not do it again
  • Noah_b87

    Posts: 31

    Feb 03, 2011 8:43 AM GMT
    ive already thought about it and i have to say that even though it hasnt come up yet i would date a guy thats HIV+. only with the understanding that when we have sex it would have to be with a condom everytime. even with all of my HIV- boyfriends ive had i only have protected sex. i dont ever wanna risk it. sex is fun but i shouldnt have to pay for it the rest of my life. thats what i think