I was trained to evaluate someone based on the "whole person concept". Not any single thing, although some serious flaws in a guy, like heavy drug & alcohol abuse, or criminal activities, have been non-starters for me.
So that some guys aren't the most handsome, or the wealthiest, nor heavily sexed, but I'm still attracted to them. In fact, I had a BF who was obsessed with sex, all he seemed to want from me, and at any hour of the day or night without warning.
He was NOT a whole person concept guy himself. All that basically interested him about me was my dick. The rest of me seemed immaterial, an appendage for my dick, not the other way around. Not my most satisfying relationship, once I realized this.
High on my list are guys with a bright & happy attitude, and a fair amount of smarts. Who can talk about somethings other than the sports news (although I'm not adverse to sports and follow & discuss some myself), but who have a wide range of interests & knowledge.
And this leads to the sex, at least in my case. Which has also been important to me. And this compatibility, along with sex, actually leads to the love, that makes the sex even better. I can have cold physical sex as relaxation, but I'd rather have it as an expression of love.
Of course now at my age, and his, interest in sex, and frequency, declines quite a bit. You think it never will, but for most of us it does. It happens naturally over time, little by little. Fortunately this relationship remains fulfilling for both of us on many other levels, too.
