How important is a good sex life in relationships and could you stay in a relationship that was sexually unfulfilling?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2007 4:13 AM GMT
    I heard a quote once stating, "When sex is good its 10% of the relationship and when its bad its 90%." Since I heard that quote I was surprised how many people stayed in relationships with someone who wasn't that pleasing in bed. I couldn't believe people did that. Sex in our relationship is the best we have ever had. Plus we have amazing sexual chemistry. My other relationships didnt last and I found myself cheating on my exes during our relationship. Experiencing what we have together, I cannot imagine a successful relationship that wasnt sexually satisfying.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 20, 2007 12:35 PM GMT
    Extremely important. I have been in a few relationship. The last one , I was completely faithfull . Really the sex is so good that I dont even bother to look at other men. I have all kinda temptation but I just not interested . His all the men I need.

    Back in my twenties I cheat on my live it lover, simply because I dont find his sexually attractive anymore (he get fat). Sex is just an obligation and something I have to do. My relationship with him is fill with lies, betrayal and sexual frustration. It a big relief when it all over. Looking back I regreted that I spend nearly 2 years in this unfullfiling relationship.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Jul 20, 2007 3:23 PM GMT
    As above!I`m a highly sexed,highly physical,sensual guy,so great sex in a relationship is essential to me.I`d also want my partner to be getting a physically fulfilling time;to be satisfied by me.

    If it wasn`t working,I`d want to find out why,what could I do to improve the situation.If it couldn`t be,then the relationship would probably be at an end.

    The relationships I`ve been in where sex wasn`t satisfying haven`t lasted.If you can`t mend it,it`s best to be honest with the guy and end it.
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    Jul 20, 2007 4:32 PM GMT
    Never been in a relationship - but I would imagine that sexual chemistry/good sex would certainly factor in. How much - not sure.
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    Jul 28, 2007 8:09 AM GMT
    maybe it's just my age and lack of experience, but it may play a role, but sex wouldn't control evrything. i read a quote that i believe is very true: "sex with a man is good, but sex with the man you love is fantastic." i think if you're in love it doesn't matter how good/bad the sex is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2007 4:58 PM GMT
    How important is a good sex life in a relationship?

    Quick and easy answer: Very.

    Could you stay in a relationship that was sexually unfulfilling?

    Quick and easy answer. No. OR Unless I was 80.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 29, 2007 1:13 PM GMT
    Without the sex ... basically your just roommates

    and would I find a sexless relationship fulfilling?....No
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    Aug 08, 2007 3:39 AM GMT
    What if it is unfulfilling because your partner does not want to do anal sex, but you love it?

    Is that not a good enough reason to want to find someone else?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 08, 2007 7:01 AM GMT
    "Found myself cheating" Not calling you out on this Landon (You are not alone on that), but people have said I can't believe you wear a condom during intercouse.

    This is just an example of why std's and HIV are so prevelent. I have heard many guys stand on the soapbox and say they r safe and tested negative and only have unprotected sex with b/f's or serious relationships, only to find out they cheated on and ex or were cheated on. I hear this from so many men online through friends and from a close friend who worked at a clinic for years. Ok I'm off my soapbox now! Have at it all!!

    Landon I hope your relationship lasts, but Karma has a way of evening out life. Why didn't you just break up with the b/f's you had lousy sex with?? Ok so I called you out on this part a little. I am not writing a book I just wondered why>>>

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    Oct 24, 2007 12:47 AM GMT
    I can't do a relationship without at least decent sex. Physical attraction is important. It's not everything.. but it's important.

    Now, a friend of mine is dating this guy, and they don't have sex. Only oral sex. I don't know how they do it.. I mean.. I'd get bored.

    So I suppose it's all about you.
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    Nov 08, 2007 9:26 PM GMT
    Extremely important. IT is definitely an issue that any couple has to face head on and resolve or face a "parting" of the ways. Men are typically very sexually driven. So if it your partner is "driven" to you he will in all probability "drive" someone else.
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    Dec 18, 2007 7:10 AM GMT
    Alright.. I can speak from personal experience on the post above mine. I've been the clueless guy, giving good (but vanilla) sex. My lover at the time just told me what he liked. It was a tad awkward for me.. but I took to it like a duck in water. He only had to give me one or two things, before I discovered for myself an entire world that he enjoyed.
    Because I cared for him, I went with it experimentally at first, only to find out that a different kind of sex was really great. And now, There are a lot of things I enjoy that I would have never considered without his different perspective.


    Dude.. just sit him down and lay it out for him. Tell him right out. It's an awkward thing to do.. but he probably has no idea, and if you DON'T tell him, then you'll just sit there wondering when he'll figure it out.
    Keep it light, and treat it like it's almost funny, or that you're half embarrassed to be having the talk. But afterwards.. he may try to kick things up a notch just because he cares for you.



    Hope it works out. ^)_(^
  • texas7t

    Posts: 40

    Nov 28, 2013 9:07 AM GMT
    I've have told the guy I. With time after time after time...
    Even suggested on reading a book.. But yet he has no clue.
    I know I need to part ways, but afraid of .. Not finding some one comparable outside of sex.
    I mean this guy is not romantic, can not kiss, and says my dick is too big for him to take.. I'm average 7x5. Is not too big.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Nov 30, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    My bfs job is pleasing my cock, everything else is just bonus, luckily i enjoy him for a lot more too.

  • cosmo86

    Posts: 4

    Dec 02, 2016 7:15 AM GMT
    you are disgusting to me...you are the reason why people like me can't get into relationship...b/c it's fags like yourself that fuck it up for everyone...sexy DOES NOT MAKE UP THE RELATIONSHIP....it only enhance it....so if you were not happy you should have been a man about it...rather than being a whore to find pleasure else where...god i wish it was guys like that ceased to exist....
  • cosmo86

    Posts: 4

    Dec 02, 2016 8:18 AM GMT
    so let's analyze this more...if you are that unhappy in a relationship......for the love to god....id rather you leave me...instead of going back to you exes...cause then it raise the question, if the sex was that good.....wtf? why did you guys break up....so you can cheat on me for the guy you left?...please do me favor...kill yourself
  • SubBttmBoy

    Posts: 46

    Dec 02, 2016 1:20 PM GMT
    I got out of my marriage off five years mainly because there was no sex life. We're still good friends, but you NEED that physical connection.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2016 2:18 PM GMT
    I was trained to evaluate someone based on the "whole person concept". Not any single thing, although some serious flaws in a guy, like heavy drug & alcohol abuse, or criminal activities, have been non-starters for me.

    So that some guys aren't the most handsome, or the wealthiest, nor heavily sexed, but I'm still attracted to them. In fact, I had a BF who was obsessed with sex, all he seemed to want from me, and at any hour of the day or night without warning.

    He was NOT a whole person concept guy himself. All that basically interested him about me was my dick. The rest of me seemed immaterial, an appendage for my dick, not the other way around. Not my most satisfying relationship, once I realized this.

    High on my list are guys with a bright & happy attitude, and a fair amount of smarts. Who can talk about somethings other than the sports news (although I'm not adverse to sports and follow & discuss some myself), but who have a wide range of interests & knowledge.

    And this leads to the sex, at least in my case. Which has also been important to me. And this compatibility, along with sex, actually leads to the love, that makes the sex even better. I can have cold physical sex as relaxation, but I'd rather have it as an expression of love.

    Of course now at my age, and his, interest in sex, and frequency, declines quite a bit. You think it never will, but for most of us it does. It happens naturally over time, little by little. Fortunately this relationship remains fulfilling for both of us on many other levels, too. icon_biggrin.gif
  • MuscledHorse

    Posts: 53

    Dec 02, 2016 3:12 PM GMT
    Here's the reality that both history and science has shown: guys are not built for monogamy. And guys like me with hyperactive sex drives even moreso. I don't drink, smoke or use recreational drugs. I am very well educated and I spend a good deal of time in the gym improving my body, which has consistently improved my life. But where sex is concerned, a guy that wants to date me better be able to tell the difference between the animal drive for sexual pleasure and Love (capital "L" variety) as they are not the synonyms the Church and countless chick-flicks/rom-coms have made it out to be. Physical-sexual contact with other males is a staple in my needs in life and I wouldn't have it any other way. My partner needs to be of the same mindset. I know they exist because I have met couples like that at sex resorts and clubs. In my experience, any guy who truly buys the true love= monogamy crap is going to be crushed when the reality of the male primal drives sets in-and it always eventually sets in. Sex is a basic instinct driven act. This scared-izing of the sexual act the Church has pushed on civilization needs to be called out for the load of unrealistic crap that it is.
  • 1LuckyBoy

    Posts: 39

    Dec 02, 2016 4:40 PM GMT
    MuscledHorse saidHere's the reality that both history and science has shown: guys are not built for monogamy. And guys like me with hyperactive sex drives even moreso.


    When I am in a committed relationship, I can definitely feel satisfied with monogamy. The key is making sure you're sexually compatible with your partner. To be frank about it, a dick is a dick.... they all do the same thing, an orgasm feels (for the most part) the same each time. The real issue is that there is a physical or emotion disconnect that happens with some people, at various stages of a relationship - which causes them to cheat or leave the relationship. I know this is true, because I have been in both situations... when both people aren't connected 100%, it's natural to look elsewhere. In instances where the relationship is solid, when both of us are giving it 100% and sexual compatible - I never had the slightest desire for anyone else. This had nothing to do with pop culture or religion.

    Also (and I'll only speak for myself), I think it's too much damn work to have multiple partners. There is something to be said for having GOOD sex with a guy who you know is STD free and not sleeping with other guys. Again, my opinion based on my experiences. I respect yours, as well.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 02, 2016 7:08 PM GMT
    Sexual attraction is important, especially at the beginning of a relationship. You should want to rip the guy's clothes off and do it immediately. Now I understand some guys believe in a bit more romance before actually doing that but the urge should be there. Later on, it is important to keep it sexy but the actual act can sometimes get more or less artful, sometimes just physical, sometimes more loving. But the intimacy matters and should be maintained with vigilance. Some guys do have more and some less need for sex and finding a good match is important. No two guys will ever be exactly on the same page in this respect but the important thing is to be aware of your partner's needs and care that he's happy. Including sexually. And as some have mentioned, that may involve trying some things you're not naturally attracted to--- but he is. And you may find you like it. Or not. But the desire to please him should always be there. And vice versa. Just remember, good sex is always about making your partner happy. Him first, you second.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2016 6:08 AM GMT
    cosmo86 saidyou are disgusting to me...you are the reason why people like me can't get into relationship...b/c it's fags like yourself that fuck it up for everyone...sexy DOES NOT MAKE UP THE RELATIONSHIP....it only enhance it....so if you were not happy you should have been a man about it...rather than being a whore to find pleasure else where...god i wish it was guys like that ceased to exist....


    What drug are you on? You ought to temper it with a little pot to calm you down. Reviving a thread dead for 3 years, and than ranting at who? Your friend Harvey the Puka ??
  • cosmo86

    Posts: 4

    Dec 03, 2016 11:21 AM GMT
    Puppenjunge said
    cosmo86 saidyou are disgusting to me...you are the reason why people like me can't get into relationship...b/c it's fags like yourself that fuck it up for everyone...sexy DOES NOT MAKE UP THE RELATIONSHIP....it only enhance it....so if you were not happy you should have been a man about it...rather than being a whore to find pleasure else where...god i wish it was guys like that ceased to exist....


    What drug are you on? You ought to temper it with a little pot to calm you down. Reviving a thread dead for 3 years, and than ranting at who? Your friend Harvey the Puka ??


    yes at puka....i don't care the age of the thread....what they is expressed is the reason why so many relationship are fucked up...so what's more important you...the age of the thread...or what's being expressed?
  • 1LuckyBoy

    Posts: 39

    Dec 03, 2016 1:26 PM GMT
    There does seem to be a few who resurrect years old threads, which seems silly since 9/10 times, the OP is long gone. Can't we create new posts for legitimate topics that need discussing?? lol