A Gay Man hopes...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 24, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    Ok i was just reading some notes..something i am writing during my spare time. I was wondering..as gay men what do we usually think about? Like what are the aspirations we truly wish to achieve? Besides sex..i truly believe gay culture has more to offer...You know its not really a fabulous lifestyle as some of us think...so im asking some of you to just reply with what you thought this life as a gay man would be like. What you would have accomplished living a out life or a life where yours self realized as a gay man. Is it what you thought it would be?
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Nov 24, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    Before Europeans poisoned their minds, the real first Americans held their gays and lesbians in high esteem, seeing them as half man and half woman which is what Manitou, the 'God' behind the north american aboriginal's religion, is in their eyes.

    We have skills and gifts that str8 men and women don't have. The people who survived on this continent for centuries, hell, thousands of years, recognized that.

    My hope is that every gay and lesbian takes their place at the head of the line, instead of sitting at the back of the bus.
  • noviceprime

    Posts: 136

    Nov 24, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    i often dream that as a gay individual i will be able to stop living in a sense of failed acceptance. I know that i am gay i have accepted it but because of society ...i am embarrassed even though i am proud to be gay. I think about my future..whether ill be alone as i age...will i find love...i see guys on here with monogamous on their profile pages and i am happy for them but im wondering about the others who wont find love..or a companion. I want to have that life..with a lover whos also my best friend..but its not clear if it will happen. But i keep hoping it will happen. I hope that shed some light in what you want to find out.
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    Nov 24, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    To fall in love and live happily ever after hihihi ^_^

    well thats one thing..

    On the other hand.. its making the world a better place..... and making sure anyone who gets in my way is swiftly dealt with ahem... icon_redface.gif
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    Nov 24, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidBefore Europeans poisoned their minds, the real first Americans held their gays and lesbians in high esteem, seeing them as half man and half woman which is what Manitou, the 'God' behind the north american aboriginal's religion, is in their eyes.

    We have skills and gifts that str8 men and women don't have. The people who survived on this continent for centuries, hell, thousands of years, recognized that.

    My hope is that every gay and lesbian takes their place at the head of the line, instead of sitting at the back of the bus.


    Before Torach rules of marriage poisoned European minds... Europeans were just fine with gay ppl too.. they often became druids and leaders

    Sorry Judaic religion.. but it IS the Torach that most modern gay hate was based on ... i know its a holy book, but I still think its a bad influence and should be read with care
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    Nov 24, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
    Failure to conform to the stereotypical view of who I am supposed to be, when I will never be fully accepted by society. Especially those who I grew up with and live with in a state that can be as harsh as the local weather. I also think about the future, and have hopes to find a place to live, work, and be with someone that I can make happy.icon_smile.gif
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Nov 24, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    noviceprime saidi often dream that as a gay individual i will be able to stop living in a sense of failed acceptance. I know that i am gay i have accepted it but because of society ...i am embarrassed even though i am proud to be gay. I think about my future..whether ill be alone as i age...will i find love...i see guys on here with monogamous on their profile pages and i am happy for them but im wondering about the others who wont find love..or a companion. I want to have that life..with a lover whos also my best friend..but its not clear if it will happen. But i keep hoping it will happen. I hope that shed some light in what you want to find out.


    I don't know if you meant it, but you imply that only men in monogamous relationships find love and companionship. This isn't true. I would only choose monogamy for myself, but I'm acquainted with a couple who have been in an open relationship for 35 years and they certainly have love and companionship. They recently went to New York and were married. This past year I've also met other couples in open relationships anywhere from 9 to 18 years. So, while I, personally, would only be monogamous, I realize that monogamy isn't the indespensible prerequisite for love and companionship.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Nov 24, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    I want to have a committed monogamous relationship. Oh and world peaceicon_smile.gif
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    Nov 24, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Being gay is not my purpose in life, it is just a dimension of who I am.

    Certainly being an active homosexual from age 15 has shaped the course of my life. 27 years ago I was told I had HIV and only a year to live. So, my expectations on accomplishment and achievement were rather near term and urgent in their pursuit.

    My purpose was clear. I would do whatever I could to make a positive and meaningful difference in the lives of others with what little time I had.

    I've been pleasantly surprised by the fact that I haven't died yet.
    I continue to live my life according to my clear purpose.
    I don't live to be gay. I just happen to live and be gay.

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    Nov 24, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    I wanna live in peace, some people bother me when they just feel I'm gay, even though I'm so kind with them or I don't know them personally. I know that I'm different but it's not my choice, I've born gay! so what do they want me to do? to kill myself, for example!. If they don't respect me, I want them to leave me alone!
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    Nov 24, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    i see there is only nine intellectual or original thinkers on this site icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 24, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, I don't think gay people have any different aspirations from straight people. That's just the case in my life. I do what I do because I like making a difference in people's lives. I am of service to people, and that is true achievement to me.

    The moment I think about finding love, what I want, being successful ... That's self-centered. Oh, I also do that frequently every minute but actively practice humility to try to relieve myself of that.

  • Nov 24, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    I hope we can find a way to stop living with these illusions that gay people must live up to very unrealistic expectations in order to be 'accepted' within the community. Not all of us are rich, have doctorate degrees, perfect bodies, $600 sweaters, and million dollar condos. I realize many of us have worked hard and done well, but if there are so many gay people who dropped out of high school and never went back, what's their story? Isn't it enough for someone to have come out early, been told to get out and end up on the streets, and are now barely surviving? Does strength in character and will to survive mean more than this image of affluence we want people to believe? I do wonder.

    The irony here is that coming out used to be a statement of differences being a good thing that should not only be respected but also celebrated; a severing of ties from a straight world with constraints and living a lie. Yet, we come out only to find that to be accepted by other gay people you must look like this, dress like that, appear as if you live way beyond your means, and have the attitude to back that up. How is that progress if we come out to a community with even more expectations and constraints?

    I hope we can stop talking about gay marriage so much and start talking about why so many of us are meeting nobody, or meet somebody and have it end in three months. If you've met the right guy and things are stable, that's great. But I've been out long enough to know that's not reality for most of us. It's very hard just to meet someone when gay men already make up such a small percentage of people. Within that small percentage, there has to be some opposing characteristics that attract us together, and what sucks is there's too many of the same kinds of guys all looking for that tiny sliver of 'opposites' that never seem to be around. It's easier with two women - it's more personality and emotion at first. With two men, it's either going to happen or it's not.

    I hope that we can really be a gay community rather than constantly finding new ways to ensure that 'I'm nothing like (these kinds of gay guys)' or we live to insult each other or throw each other overboard the minute we discover the slightest flaw. Many of us came from a very dark, damaged history - be gentle with other gay men. We do not exist so other gay men can 'settle a score' with their anger, and do so by attacking each other rather than the source of their anger.

    That's all I have so far.
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    Nov 24, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    ASPIRATIONAL:
    1. Good job and steadily increasing stream of income
    2. Active in my community through volunteerism
    3. Committed, monogamous partner
    4. Happy, healthy children
    5. A modest home in a gated community, a place where you can walk the dog at night and not worry about being mugged
    6. County club membership for golf on Fridays
    7. A television the size of a wall, great sound-system, and every video game console known to man ... so everyone jogging in the neighborhood knows when I am playing Skyrim.

    REALITY:
    1. No. But working on it.
    2. Yes. Very.
    3. No. And no prospect.
    4. Not yet.
    5. Nowhere close. In fact, complete opposite.
    6. No longer .... and not yet.
    7. Not yet.

    Le sigh icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 24, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    I hope in my "gay" life that I accomplish what any person considered "normal" would.

    i want a husband, kids, a good job, and to be loved.

    I have all those things to give, so it is what I want in return.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    so any of you more concern with establishing a career more than finding love?
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    tereseus1 saidso any of you more concern with establishing a career more than finding love?


    done this... NEVER doing it again. I think you have to have a blanced approach. You need to look to care for yourself and set up what you need to support yourself and eventually someone else but you can't be so gunho you forget about things like family or having someone in your life because then you're loner and have no one there to turn to. I don't want to be me 50 and wake up wondering why I'm alone but have my "success". It all depends on what you define success as.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    I define success as living comfortably in a home with my partner, kids, and dogs having stable jobs.I'm a simple man.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    running11 saidI hope in my "gay" life that I accomplish what any person considered "normal" would.

    i want a husband, kids, a good job, and to be loved.

    I have all those things to give, so it is what I want in return.


    This. but no kids.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    running11 saidI hope in my "gay" life that I accomplish what any person considered "normal" would.

    i want a husband, kids, a good job, and to be loved.

    I have all those things to give, so it is what I want in return.


    This. but no kids.


    is this due to fear, of not being an outstanding father or you just dont mess with kids all that well. i find that an increasing number of gay men really hate the little monsters.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:40 AM GMT
    Just give me a job I enjoy and can make a living off of.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    A great career, be in exceptional physical condition, a great partner and two or three kids... if the partner part does not happen by the time Im 35. I'm going ahead with the arrangements to have my own biological kids.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    tereseus1 said
    Dallasfan824 said
    running11 saidI hope in my "gay" life that I accomplish what any person considered "normal" would.

    i want a husband, kids, a good job, and to be loved.

    I have all those things to give, so it is what I want in return.


    This. but no kids.


    is this due to fear, of not being an outstanding father or you just dont mess with kids all that well. i find that an increasing number of gay men really hate the little monsters.


    I love kids and they love me. I have a 5 year old nephew who fucking rules. I would be a kick ass dad as I am already a kick ass uncle. But at this point in my life as I am knocking on the door of being 50 years old, I dont think kids are in the cards for me.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidBefore Europeans poisoned their minds, the real first Americans held their gays and lesbians in high esteem, seeing them as half man and half woman which is what Manitou, the 'God' behind the north american aboriginal's religion, is in their eyes.

    We have skills and gifts that str8 men and women don't have. The people who survived on this continent for centuries, hell, thousands of years, recognized that.

    My hope is that every gay and lesbian takes their place at the head of the line, instead of sitting at the back of the bus.


    yes most of us native american tribes had no problem with lesbian or gays. We were referred to as "two spirit" and we considered twice blessed. Cause the individual who was "two spirit" could preform both male and female responsibilities. So they cook, hunt, take of children, farm, make pottery, weave and so on . . . but due to european, christianity, and catholic influence "two spirit" is frowned upon and seen as a wrong. Manitou (spirit) is similar to shinto beliefs. That everything has a spirit and is sacred. trust me you ain't gonna read that in no book, Manitou was translated in 'God' cause the euros didn't understand our belief system at the time.
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    Nov 30, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    running11 saidI hope in my "gay" life that I accomplish what any person considered "normal" would.

    i want a husband, kids, a good job, and to be loved.

    I have all those things to give, so it is what I want in return.



    +1