Seeing siblings this holiday? Why they drive us nuts

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    Nov 24, 2011 6:48 AM GMT
    Adult sibling conflict & rivalry is sometimes discussed here, associated with family gatherings like US Thanksgiving, with the added dimension of resentment & tension regarding any brother who's gay. Not a lot of solid advice here, rather a teaser for a more comprehensive book, but I thought I'd throw it out anyway.

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45407855/ns/today-today_health/#.Ts3mn2DyCy4
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    Nov 24, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 24, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    forced by my mother's subtle guilt trip to spend 4 hours today with my extended family; i was reminded several times why I live alone and why I enjoy it SO much.
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    Nov 25, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    I love being an only child. I've never been sad over not having siblings!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    There is a bad blood rivalry between me and my brother. We are not close not one bit but i do love him.


  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Nov 25, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    My siblings are my best friends as well. I have two living siblings.

    Edward, crop your picture from the top, and you have a really nice picture.
  • ChilaxinJOCK0...

    Posts: 1513

    Nov 25, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    within 5 hours of being home today me and my sister were doing HEAVY battle. It was brutal, as always. Amongst the tension we already have, she still refuses to acknowledge the fact that im gay. Me and my mom will joke about it openly and she has to immediately do an awkward subject change. Makes me wish I had a brother!
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    Nov 25, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    Well, I have a uterine brother. He's from my mom's first marriage. For one thing he's 12 years older than me. He also grew up with his dad and step-mom in Texas while I grew up with our mom and my dad in Spain and Virginia. So at no point in our lives did we ever live together. That's why I consider myself an only child. However, ever since he moved to Maryland 10 years ago, I've gotten to know him more. I just saw him this past weekend!
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    Nov 25, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    my siblings are a nightmare, but not because they're mean to me. My sister is three years younger than me and a workaholic. I can't even work her in to go for a spin in my new car, she literally told me her job is her life. My little brother is terrified of even SLIGHTLY disappointing my parents. Its kind of depressing being around them because I'm not worried about being the most successful person on the planet or anything like that, i just want to enjoy life.
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    Nov 25, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    Dean_Aane said


    Onslow is my hero; comfortable in his own skin
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    Nov 25, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    I get along very well with my siblings.
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Nov 25, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    I'm thankful that my siblings and I get along.
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    Nov 25, 2011 10:53 PM GMT
    Spending time with the family over the holidays is nice but I came I realize that I'm sooooo different from all of them. They don't have any class, they yell, they don't care about dressing for dinner, no proper table setting of any kind... But I guess in spite of it all they're family icon_rolleyes.gif I am not like them, and I would never want to be like them. I'm not being a snob, I just think that I want better for myself than what they are.
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    Nov 25, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    My younger brother, who is straight, and I remain good friends. He suspected that I might be gay 17 or 18 years ago. That hadn't changed his love and respect for me.
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    Nov 25, 2011 11:05 PM GMT
    ChilaxinJOCK09 saidwithin 5 hours of being home today me and my sister were doing HEAVY battle. It was brutal, as always. Amongst the tension we already have, she still refuses to acknowledge the fact that im gay. Me and my mom will joke about it openly and she has to immediately do an awkward subject change. Makes me wish I had a brother!

    My younger sister's hatred of my being gay is what ended my relationship with her, my only sibling. I haven't had contact with her since 1997, nor will I, not even at her funeral should it happen before mine. That I doubt I'll even hear about, anyway. She could already be dead now, for all I know.

    When she denied me for being gay that closed a door forever. She is no longer a part of my life, already dead to me. When you get to my age, having lost my parents, my first partner, some of my friends, a hateful sister is no loss at all, nothing I miss in the least. If I must do without those others, I can easily do without her.
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    Nov 25, 2011 11:30 PM GMT
    I always torment my older brother, can't help it, lol. one min were fighting the next were joking.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Nov 25, 2011 11:32 PM GMT
    My brother is the bizarro version of me. Short, fat, hairy, straight, and bald
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    Nov 26, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    Oh god........don't get me started. I love my siblings but it's like being thrown into swirling mass of nonstop noise and confusion....something like Michelangelo's Last Judgment. I'm still recuperating. Of course, I'm the Pied Piper and all my little nieces and nephews crowd around me. Buggers and brats.
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    My sibs are 13, 11 and 5 years my senior. Quite a few miscarriages in between and I was a "slipped drip" I am sure. All very different people and spread out such that we dont know each other well as adults. Then there's the current of religion running through a couple of them.
    Hmmm. Well I have a goofy, born again Christian/hell fire and brimstone, only sister 13 years my senior. She did indeed change my diapers and was a best friend of mine growing up. She was always a 4.0 student and got a masters in psychology and another in nursing. She was/became a failed yuppie, spinster and found religion in her 30's. Actually met and got married at 51 (1st time I ever knew she dated). Married a far right Methodist minister. He kind of centered her lol and leaves me and my being gay alone. Nothing but respect to my face. Who knows otherwise. He was a Navy nuke sub reactor tech and got "the call". Has real life experiences from around the world. She has lived in central NY all her life. Near as I know never been west of Buffalo. Sat on a couch as much as possible (became immensely obese) watching The 700 Club, Jimmy Swaggert, Kenneth Copland, Crystal Cathedral dude, etc. (no shit) and gave $$ to all of them. My mom hated I was gay but kept her mouth shut about it. Not like her at all, she was a hard case, so she was trying at least. I never heard my mom swear, ever, except when she (did an a la Dan Savages mom moment) said to my sister and moms twin "If you have a fucking problem w/him you have a fucking problem w/me" and those 3 were love to hate each other best buds. Aunt/moms twin died year before mom and sister kept her distance until we shoveled dirt over mom in 2006 (old gal made it to 90 lol). I had to get a restraining order in NY and WA, and OR, against my sister. She went nuts once Mom died. Phone, mail, ridiculous literature showed up.
    My big brother is a great man and good friend as is his gay son, my only nephew and fellow home brewer. Other bro was my tormentor all my young life and we cant be in the same room for 20 minutes w/o being at each others throats. He's an ass hole. I like his wife. Needless to say I do a well attended young and old orphans Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter here and very much appreciate those that took care of me over my young vagabond years.
    Sorry about the long post response. Venting after 3 pints of home brew. My apologies. If anything I will say I do miss my dad and he died in 1983. Still crushes me. He was awesome.
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    My sis and I are twins. We started out best friends from birth, but our personalities were so divergent, by about 13 we couldn't stand each other. She was a popular kid, had attention from all the hottest guys. I was a nerd, social reject, orchestra/mock trial/chess-club kid.

    After coming out in college, I relaxed a bit, she sorta became more responsible. We are similar in many more ways than before. We bicker and fight and pick on each other still, but it's never mean-spirited.

    She treats me like a new toy for being gay. I'm her gay brother that she wants to show off to friends. It's annoying sometimes. But now I can be completely honest and tell her to her face that the guys she dates are fucking ugly.