would i be a douchebag if..................

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    Nov 26, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    okay..so there's this guy i've taken a liking to..not really sure if he's gay or not..but i get a slight feeling he may be..he could be bisexual?..would i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidokay..so there's this guy i've taken a liking to..not really sure if he's gay or not..but i get a slight feeling he may be..he could be bisexual?..would i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?


    That runs a high risk of being punched in the face if he is straight/closeted, in my opinion.

    I go for a more direct - "are you seeing anyone?" - which has not led to punching yet.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    What is a "slight feeling?"

    And what does "showing off" look like?

    He may not think your a douche but he may think you completely insane depending on your definitions of the above.

    Are there no places just to go and meet Gay guys where you are?
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidokay..so there's this guy i've taken a liking to..not really sure if he's gay or not..but i get a slight feeling he may be..he could be bisexual?..would i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?


    Ask if he's gay/or leans toward guys at all, lol. If he's not a shithead you'll still be friends.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    Cash saidWhat is a "slight feeling?"

    And what does "showing off" look like?

    He may not think your a douche but he may think you completely insane depending on your definitions of the above.

    Are there no places just to go and meet Gay guys where you are?
    +1
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    Weird. As. Fuck.

    Seriously, what happened to coffee? Now you're going to go up and flex at him?
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    Now why couldn't a guy like you chat me up! icon_cry.gif
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    No so much a douche bag as a creeper... just sayin'
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:46 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidokay..so there's this guy i've taken a liking to..not really sure if he's gay or not..but i get a slight feeling he may be..he could be bisexual?..would i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?


    Sounda fine unless he shows NO interest in which case you need to backoff fast.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidwould i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?

    I personally think it's a great idea. Honestly! Good luck.
  • Midas426

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    Nov 26, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    Depends on how you flex. You could act like you're trying to stretch the back of your neck with your one hand while squeezing your bicep and touching/squeezing the bicep with your other hand. The guy may wonder if you were trying to show off but otherwise wouldn't feel threatened. And you could try and gauge his reaction.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    It's OK to chat him up. . . but he would probably think the flexing is way too much and kinda weird. Save that for later, AFTER you know he's gay, AFTER he shows interest, AFTER you've been out to Starbucks. . . . . . . . . .
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    If you have to ask whether or not something is douchey, it probably is.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    The only way I think that you could do it without coming off as a creep is if you worked it into the discussion somehow. For example, you could discuss how to work on your calf muscles and then show him yours as an example. Otherwise, it's going to seem weird.
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    Nov 26, 2011 2:55 AM GMT
    well.....at least you told me your opinions...and i appreciate them.i will probably try the coffee thing....the flexing thing was just a dumb idea i had..
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidNow why couldn't a guy like you chat me up! icon_cry.gif
    because i didn't know that you would like me to chat you up...
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    Cash saidWhat is a "slight feeling?"

    And what does "showing off" look like?

    He may not think your a douche but he may think you completely insane depending on your definitions of the above.

    Are there no places just to go and meet Gay guys where you are?
    and unfortunately no....there are no real places to meet gay guys...i don't live in LA....i live in Rural Illinois........50 miles away from Springfield,il which has 1 tiny gay bar called Scandals.....and not many attractive prospects there...........
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Just make friends. See where it goes from there. Showing off in the gym seems like a little too much a little too fast.
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    Nov 26, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    Just don't go so far as the guy I saw on a trip down the PCH. He was at the entrance to the beach parking log at Malibu... leaning on his plastic red Vette... bouncing his pecs at everyone who drove in. The guy just radiated doucheosity.
    He was still at it when I left a couple hours later. icon_question.gif
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    Nov 26, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    I had a dude walk up to me and just flex his biceps in my face while I was doing the pec deck... have to admit, it was pretty hot (and he had killer arms)
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    Nov 26, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    In the OP's case:

    Yes, it would be a total douche thing to do. If not laughably cheesy (muscle flex thing).

    Srsly: just make light semi-meaningless conversation with him, see if you have mutual interests besides just being at the gym at around the same time... and ask him if he would like to do [mutually interesting non-creepy thing] together.
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    Nov 26, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    Uh yeah, it really wouldn't matter who did that to me it would be like wtf are you doing, calm down icon_razz.gif

    I know this is a bit old-fashioned, but maybe you should just talk to him icon_rolleyes.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 26, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    creepy and douchey are two different things
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Nov 26, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    Lapinblanc saidNo so much a douche bag as a creeper... just sayin'



    Exactly, it is well into creeper territory. Just talk and get to know him, find out if he's single?
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Nov 26, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    eddie13 saidokay..so there's this guy i've taken a liking to..not really sure if he's gay or not..but i get a slight feeling he may be..he could be bisexual?..would i be a douchebag if i carefully walked up to him and engaged him in a conversation about weight training,and then slowly worked my way into "showing off" for him..flexing my muscles a bit..just to see his reaction?


    Or instead of trying to trick him into something you could just ask him if he is married/has a gf. Im guessing that would be a less dramatic and more direct way of going about it.