What do you think of guys who solely or largely only hang out with gay friends?

  • stefanapolis

    Posts: 65

    Nov 26, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    Ok, Ok, Ok! I know this subject has most likely been tackled on here multiple times, but lets pretend it hasn't and bear with me, thanks :-)

    So, I'm curious about peoples opinions on guys who's social circles are almost exclusively gay men and if you trust them?
    I ask because I find myself in a situation being attracted to a guy, who it seems are almost all solely gay. and I find myself having a little bit of trouble, how you say, trusting him. We're not officially dating or anything, been on a few dates and talk consistently. But I also have briefly met enough of the guys to, well, know they sleep around, it's not a big gay community here. I've never had a solid base of gay friends, just a few acquaintances here and there or brief meetings, so I'm not sure what to think.

    I know its all about trust and what not, but we are nothing serious or at a point I would ever

    I'm just curious about other opinions on this subject!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 26, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    He wants to know if his future ex-boyfriend will cheat on him with his friend's friend's friend or something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 26, 2011 4:06 AM GMT
    If he is one to cheat, do you think not having gay friends will stop him from cheating? You don't need gay friends to go to a gay bar or sign onto manhunt or take an ad out on craigslist.
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Nov 26, 2011 4:09 AM GMT
    xrichx saidHe wants to know if his future ex-boyfriend will cheat on him with his friend's friend's friend or something.

    Seriously, he's not even in a relationship and he already distrust him.
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    Nov 26, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    I would think, in general, that he's been out a while and assembled a good group of gay male friends. Further judgment would depend on what kind of gays they largely were: fashionistas? Fire Island? Catskills? Muscle queens? Etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 26, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    Stephanapolis said, "So, I'm curious about peoples opinions on guys who's social circles are almost exclusively gay men and if you trust them?"

    Sure, why not? Are they nice gay people? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 26, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    stefanapolis said

    guys who's social circles are almost exclusively gay men and if you trust them?

    I've never had a solid base of gay friends, just a few acquaintances here and there or brief meetings

    The opinion you solicited:
    Trust them? Why not? Most of my friends are gay men, and others trust me.

    Guys that sleep around? Well, they're single, and that's what a lot of single guys do. I don't have too many single gay friends, but some sleep around, because although they have chosen to be single, they haven't given up on a desire for sex.

    "Never had a base of gay friends?" Why not? Milwaukee? I understand it's not Chicago, but there must be 1,000s of gay guys around. Time to start developing your own circle of gay friends. Best way to start is meeting other guys' gay friends in a non-sexual setting. Some of those guys are bound to have female/straight friends as well. Maybe your guy-interest of the moment does not have female/straight friends bc he has been socializing entirely in a gay millieu (normal), or feels more comfortable among his own kind (gay men) than among straights.
  • stefanapolis

    Posts: 65

    Nov 26, 2011 7:03 AM GMT
    Suetonius said
    stefanapolis said

    guys who's social circles are almost exclusively gay men and if you trust them?

    I've never had a solid base of gay friends, just a few acquaintances here and there or brief meetings

    The opinion you solicited:
    Trust them? Why not? Most of my friends are gay men, and others trust me.

    Guys that sleep around? Well, they're single, and that's what a lot of single guys do. I don't have too many single gay friends, but some sleep around, because although they have chosen to be single, they haven't given up on a desire for sex.

    "Never had a base of gay friends?" Why not? Milwaukee? I understand it's not Chicago, but there must be 1,000s of gay guys around. Time to start developing your own circle of gay friends. Best way to start is meeting other guys' gay friends in a non-sexual setting. Some of those guys are bound to have female/straight friends as well. Maybe your guy-interest of the moment does not have female/straight friends bc he has been socializing entirely in a gay millieu (normal), or feels more comfortable among his own kind (gay men) than among straights.


    Thanks, I appreciated it :-)

    I do know guys sleep around and I really have no issue that. More so to me, its that we've slept together (my own fault, I know) and I guess, I'm curious to whether he's sleeping with others too, cause were not anything defined obviously. and I feel that's more prevalent, or I guess easier then your main group of friends are gay, and yes I know the internet makes it just as easier, if not easier.

    I've just never had a base of friends who are gay. and yes, I know there are plenty here. But I also grew up here, so I had a core of friends here. and then my friends I've made from university and work just all happen to be straight. not to say I don't have a few gay friends, but they actually don't even live here anymore after getting transferred to new cities for jobs. I don't have an issue with making gay friends, but it doesn't seem to happen, I've even tried to make a base of gay friends here, but never worked out. Never really connected with them fully. it is what it is.

    So we shall see. thank you for you opinion, i I do appreciate it.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 26, 2011 7:15 AM GMT
    Jealousy is a mental illness.
  • stefanapolis

    Posts: 65

    Nov 26, 2011 7:46 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidJealousy is a mental illness.


    Umm.... I never said I was jealous, not once.
    and I don't think its a mental illness, I believe its a part of human nature.

    and thanks for the condescension here. I'm sure your perfect, so props to you!
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 27, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    stefanapolis said
    Suetonius said
    stefanapolis said

    guys who's social circles are almost exclusively gay men and if you trust them?

    I've never had a solid base of gay friends, just a few acquaintances here and there or brief meetings

    The opinion you solicited:
    Trust them? Why not? Most of my friends are gay men, and others trust me.

    Guys that sleep around? Well, they're single, and that's what a lot of single guys do. I don't have too many single gay friends, but some sleep around, because although they have chosen to be single, they haven't given up on a desire for sex.

    "Never had a base of gay friends?" Why not? Milwaukee? I understand it's not Chicago, but there must be 1,000s of gay guys around. Time to start developing your own circle of gay friends. Best way to start is meeting other guys' gay friends in a non-sexual setting. Some of those guys are bound to have female/straight friends as well. Maybe your guy-interest of the moment does not have female/straight friends bc he has been socializing entirely in a gay millieu (normal), or feels more comfortable among his own kind (gay men) than among straights.


    Thanks, I appreciated it :-)

    I do know guys sleep around and I really have no issue that. More so to me, its that we've slept together (my own fault, I know) and I guess, I'm curious to whether he's sleeping with others too, cause were not anything defined obviously. and I feel that's more prevalent, or I guess easier then your main group of friends are gay, and yes I know the internet makes it just as easier, if not easier.


    Whether he is dating other guys probably has no relation to whether all the friends in his circle are gay or not.You can't assume he is not seeing other guys unless either the two of you have discussed it, or you have both fallen head over heels for each other, and are seeing each other almost every day (which does not appear is the case). In my dating experience (and I can't say that it is the same for everyone), I always assumed that someone I had started dating may be dating other guys, at least until some substantial time had passed, and we seemed to be seeing each other exclusively. By that point, some strong mutual feelings would have developed between us. If we were at the point where we were in daily contact, and were always making plans together, I would expect the relationship to be exclusive, - but would still discuss the issue.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Nov 27, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    It really shouldn't matter one bit.