Disappointing FAMILY members

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    Meaning.......family members who have disappointed you. Here is the conversation I just had with my sister. She asked me to call before 8 pm since we talk on Sunday (so she doesn't have to pay for minutes).

    Me: Hello. How's it going?

    Her: Fine. (long pause, as always, because my sister has no clue how to carry on a phone conversation. She's 52, by the way.)

    Me: Can you elaborate? icon_wink.gif

    Me: Hello....?

    Her: Oh, we're watching the last Pirates movie now.

    Me: I can call back next Sunday if you want.

    Her: No, that's OK. I can talk.......So, are you coming down for XMAS?

    Me: I'd like too, but I have to see how the money flow is. It's $75 in gas to drive there and back.

    Her: You don't have to come down if you don't want.

    Me: Well, I'd like too, I just have to wait and see how much money I have then. (Thinking about what she just said). You do want me to come down, yes?

    Her: It's up to you.

    Me: Let me ask you again. Do you want me to come down for Christmas?

    Her: (long pause). It's up to you.

    Me: (push the off button on the phone)

    I tell you, if that doesn't hurt. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that I suggested we don't exchange gifts this year a month ago. You see, my sister lives for gifts. You know the type. When I hand her a card with money, she's totaling the bills that fall out before reading the text. Our mother died three years ago and we are the only siblings close enough to be with each other.

    If she emails me, she's going to get one hell of a tongue-lashing for her selfish behavior. Even our mother thought she was a selfish bitch. To be honest, I'd rather be alone with pretty lights, a glass of wine, food I make, and people I say hi to and wish a happy day around that time.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 28, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    Your family reminds me somewhat of my own. Although I just chalk it up to them not really thinking about how things sound....before speaking. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    Haha, she's sent me three emails in the past 20 minutes:

    #1: Did you just hang up on me or did we get cut off?

    #2: I may be working two jobs around Christmas time

    #3: Of course I want you here


    Took her three emails.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    Right now it would be my baby cousin Alex. she's just had a baby and thinks she has this whole world figured out by being womanly/mannish/fast. I need to sit down and tell her what she is doing right now is making everyone in the family worry,
  • IdkMyBffJill

    Posts: 148

    Nov 28, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Sounds like she lacks interpersonal skills, more than anything else.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    New yrs resolution... try rebuilding your relationship. I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers and it ain't easy but in the long run someone has to take the high road.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    h0ck3y_david saidthanksgiving.. my niece got some of my deodorant/sweat on here hands when she tried to tickle me.. and my mother went ballistic.. shouting at her from the kitchen: GO WASH YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW! GO! GO! DO IT NOW!
    im hiv+.. im not radioactive.. i so wanted to be invisible as everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me like i had just dropped a deuce on the carpet.. i left soon after with a knot in my stomach and disappointment in my eyes.. icon_sad.gif


    wow, dunno what to say on that one. icon_sad.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 28, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    OP, give her the benefit of the doubt and blame watching the movie at the same time as talking on the phone.

    Sometimes, instead of requiring family not to be awkward, we might enjoy the notion that they are people we can be awkward with safely.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:16 AM GMT
    wrestlervic saidIf she emails me, she's going to get one hell of a tongue-lashing for her selfish behavior. Even our mother thought she was a selfish bitch. To be honest, I'd rather be alone with pretty lights, a glass of wine, food I make, and people I say hi to and wish a happy day around that time.

    Maybe she was just preoccupied with the Pirates movie, her responses to you mechanical without thought. We all know how mesmerizing Johnny Depp can be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    My half-sister did same thing to me. I don't talk to her 2 yrs ago.because she cared about my money.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    Nov 28, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    Hillie saidNew yrs resolution... try rebuilding your relationship. I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers and it ain't easy but in the long run someone has to take the high road.


    Yeah but being big so they can be small gets fucking tiring.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Nov 28, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    I would take it as she does not want you to come down. If you want to really piss her off go visit one of your other siblings. ha ha ha She might blow a gasket
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Nov 28, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    My white trash cousin let her 2 year old son hit my grandmother. My mom called her out on it and my cousin flipped out on my mom so I told the bitch I would back hand her if she ever A)Talked to MY mother like that again B) Let her son hit my grandmother ever again and not do anything about it.

    I swear I cant stand most of my family. Its totally redic that she thinks its ok for a 2 year old to act like that and she needs to get her child under control.

    Also: Was it wrong of me to congratulate my her baby daddy for staying out of prison?

    Egh.....
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:26 AM GMT
    I think holidays are the worst for bringing out every family's dysfunctional behaviors. My sister recently asked my brother to come visit for Christmas with his new wife while she was here visiting me, and then threw in that she wouldn't enjoy the holiday if they brought their kids. So, she suggested that they should leave their five kids with other relatives instead of bringing them.

    When I said that our house is big enough and that the kids could sleep on the floor slumber-party-style, everyone got mad at me. Now, I'm the one who ruined the holiday.

    I'm with the OP on this one. I'd rather spend the holiday without family and just enjoy it quietly.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    You sir are being overly dramatic. Something along the lines of molehills turning into elephants come to mind. Your sister is being passive aggressive obviously and you are making a huge deal out of it. Perhaps there was something completely different and unrelated to you going on in her life. My advice to you is, you should never argue over email. Emails can be read very differently than intended and can be really hurtful. You are blood and should not hurt each other. Blood of your own blood can hurt you the most and cut the deepest wounds.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    Ha, she just sent me a fifth email with a sentence apology. Trust me, for her to write more than three words is quite a feat.

    I got it two seconds after I sent this: "battery died. Need to recharge in car tomorrow"

    Fight averted. I still want to stay home.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    Lux_ saidYou sir are being overly dramatic. Something along the lines of molehills turning into elephants come to mind. You sister is being passive aggressive obviously and you are making a huge deal out of it. Perhaps there was something completely different and unrelated to you going on in her life. My advice to you is, you should never argue over email. Emails can be read very differently than intended and can be really hurtful. You are blood and should not hurt each other. Blood of your own blood can hurt you the most and cut the deepest wounds.


    I only sent one email back above. She sent five emails because she knew how she was being and apologized. I responded once.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    Its called family madness. We all have it and it seems at its worst durning the holidays.

    Its just me and my brother (parents died when were in our 20s). But we have quite the extended family. He had a fallout with them and then tried make me chose between spending Christmas with them or him. You just want to slap them...
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    yeahim40 saidI think holidays are the worst for bringing out every family's dysfunctional behaviors...I'm with the OP on this one. I'd rather spend the holiday without family and just enjoy it quietly.


    Let's do it! I'm only 40 miles from ya. We can eat, drink, and be merry. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    h0ck3y_david saidthanksgiving.. my niece got some of my deodorant/sweat on here hands when she tried to tickle me.. and my mother went ballistic.. shouting at her from the kitchen: GO WASH YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW! GO! GO! DO IT NOW!
    im hiv+.. im not radioactive.. i so wanted to be invisible as everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me like i had just dropped a deuce on the carpet.. i left soon after with a knot in my stomach and disappointment in my eyes.. icon_sad.gif


    That's awful David. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    had a similar conversation with my mom. Only my cost is 1K to get there.

    Long story short I called her selfish.
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    Nov 28, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    my twin brother...
    ugh I don't see why we're like most other twins I see, that is, who get along really well. It's always stressful to be around him because he's so pessimistic and he takes pleasure in making fun of any faults that I have icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    I got rid of all the people that make me feel that way. icon_lol.gif

    tumblr_ltm6t7gR541r0h1iq.gif

    No, really. icon_twisted.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 28, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    Would you make an effort to stay in touch, and go to visit NON RELATIVES who act like asses ?
    No ?
    Then, why feel obligated to do it with RELATIVES ?
    You're not going to change them into something they're not.
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    Nov 28, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    i have 5 half brothers....our dad died when i was 17.they all came to dad's funeral.never heard from them for 15 years...one day,one of my "brothers"came to my work and wanted to see if i would let him and his family camp out in our front yard..during our town's summer festival...i told him to get lost........he,nor any of the rest of my "brothers" had any thing to do with me all the time i was growing up,nor after dad's funeral...no phone calls,no letters,no "how you doing little brother"....nothing...so if they stayed away from me all of my life..then they can just keep staying away...