Always horny!!!

  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    Hi All,

    First time on here... the reason is that I start having an issue with my sexuality.
    I’ve been with this guy for 10 months now - We have a very good relationship, definitely we both believe in it and it's a long term relationship.
    I'm his first "serious" partner - I had few long stories before him.

    He moved in my place 3 months ago... We are very different (lifestyle, point of view etc.) but that's what we like as well -we definitely don’t want to be the copy of each other - said that we both are in Love with each other. Families met - friends met and we are now in the "living as a serious couple mode".

    There's something though that makes me think something is wrong - apart from the fact I'm really really jealous (but I'm dealing with this) - i have a very strong sexuality - I’m horny all day every day- I think about sex all day (although I have a very stressful and busy job) and I need sex!
    I watch pornos and wank everyday even though it's not enough and when I'm with him I want to have sex - sweet, romantic or dirty and raw - it doesn't matter, as long as we both like it and we can do it!
    He' s my opposite! He's not really into sex - he's sex drive is quite slow - most of the time he says yeah later but then we don't or he turns everything in a joke/game or says that I'm too much to heddle and I shouldn’t complain because we do have sex a lot - We have sex between 2 to 4 times per week...
    I understand that everyday could be too much 0 but if he doesn't want it why not give me a bj or let me wank next to him?
    Recently I discovered that he has wanks almost every day on pornos - a part from the fact that he deletes the history (I believe he doesn't want me to see what turns him on) I told him that if he has wanks and then doesn’t have sex with me it's unfair- I suggested not to have a wank but wait for me to come home and have sex.
    He said he will but he doesn't and every time I feel kind of rejected...
    When I go to the gym - lots of guys try to pick me up - flirting or the do a "show" in the showers (yeah pretty gay gym!) and I think - why other people want me so much and my partner not? Am I missing something?
    I told him and he said that finds me attractive, sexy, hot never had a bf so hot and beautiful like me - which is all very nice but why don't you take advantage of it and go for it??

    Once he said his bum was too sore (as I'm top and his btm) uhm... I find myself wanking all the time and looking at other guys... We have established we are a monogamous couple but I'm afraid I would get what i want from someone else one day...

    Am I too much?
    HELP!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    I know what you mean, but I don't blame your boy. Maybe it's just me, but I sure as hell can't take a dick up the ass every single day. I hope this doesn't ruin your relationship.
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    Fine if you ask me, as long as mutual sexual needs are met by only each other any excess can be dealt with through porn.

    Sex isn't exactly the beginning or the end of a relationship and if you're into this guy that should be enough to keep you from cheating. If you're really tempted then consider if you should be with him.

    If you do want him and want to be faithful then keep your dick out of other boys holes and wank yourself furiously. If he says he's too sore to take any more there are other things you two can do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    Monogamy is good for some people, but not for everyone.
    Agreeing to a monogamous relationship when you know you won't be able to keep the promise is a lie.
    Sounds to me like the OP needs to stop lying to himself and his partner.
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    I would disagree with that last point, it assumes that sex is the be all and end all of this relationship.

    Is it enough of a reason to break up to find someone with higher stamina or a looser hole? If so then yea you're lying to yourself, if not then why are you talking to us and not him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    Agladiator said
    When I go to the gym - lots of guys try to pick me up - flirting or the do a "show" in the showers (yeah pretty gay gym!) and I think - why other people want me so much and my partner not? Am I missing something?


    Those folks need to be informed:
    287571_745205.jpg
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 2:53 PM GMT
    @ bad_wolf

    I do want to be faithfull - of course... He knows I'm always up for it but finds it annoying sometimes.. or makes jokes... i feel frustrated being on the sofa or in bed with him and not having sex.. i undertand sex it's not everything but a good sex-life would help...And I do wank like a crazy man - already twice since this morning !!
    @islndmscle & bad_wolf

    I'd be happy not to fuck him everytime but he can only come if fucked and not really into wanking or just BJ's which I love - i'd be happy just to give bj to each other or just to wank even quickly - no needs for big deal everytime...

    Also - he wanks by himself.. he said he has an intimicy issue sometimes...

    No one has my same problem I can discuss with???

    What do you think guys?
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Nov 29, 2011 2:53 PM GMT
    You definitely should have a conversation with your man about what you're feeling. It sounds like you're not totally clear yourself on what the solution would be, but if you love him, you should include him in what's on your mind.

    Sounds like you love him, but unequal sex drives can doom a relationship unless addressed mutually.
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    NC3athlete saidYou definitely should have a conversation with your man about what you're feeling. It sounds like you're not totally clear yourself on what the solution would be, but if you love him, you should include him in what's on your mind.

    Sounds like you love him, but unequal sex drives can doom a relationship unless addressed mutually.


    Also have you discussed what the intimacy issues are?
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    @ NC3athlete

    Thanks for your post - I do love him.. and don;t wanna mess it up, for once!icon_rolleyes.gif

    What should I say more than what I've already said?? I wank every day i need more otherwise i cheat on you?? No nice stuff....
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    Agladiator said@ NC3athlete

    Thanks for your post - I do love him.. and don;t wanna mess it up, for once!icon_rolleyes.gif

    What should I say more than what I've already said?? I wank every day i need more otherwise i cheat on you?? No nice stuff....


    Also you risk destroying his confidence and self esteem if you say outright that he's no good for you in the sack.
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    @ bad_wolf

    Intimacy issues: Sometimes he looses his hard on - he said he always had it since he was a kid - he feels stressed when in complete intimacy with someone - he says with me it's different though - never had such a great phisical contact and bla bl abla about me, they way he have sex etc...
    he used to dislike being hugged - I understand now it's totally different
    PS: he is very tactile - sweet loves cuddle - probably more than actual sex...
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    What's his blood pressure like?
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    ahah- sounds funny - but i get where you coming from -
    uhm not sure but i can say he's very slow... he's a writer so he really takes his time to do everything - not suoper active i 'd say -
    I'm the iperactive... icon_neutral.gif
    i'll ask him though...
    do you think that could be linked to his "intimaty issue"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    its so funny about the dumb things people come on this site and complain about or ask for help, i suggest you force him problem solved.
  • bad_wolf

    Posts: 1002

    Nov 29, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    Possible cycle; intimacy issue causing stress which can causes erectile dysfunction which causes more stress and feeds intimacy issue etc.

    Just my initials thoughts at glance, I'm not qualified to say, I would suggest seeking advice from official sources via physicians or counsellors if the problem does run along those lines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    I don't think your situation is unique. It seems to me, and I'm basing this on my own experiences in 34 years of "marriage", that guys get off to different things. It could be, for example, that he gets off to bondage or S&M, or something he just doesn't feel comfortable talking to to you about. I would not hassle him about this. If you love each other and things are fine in other aspects of your relationship, let it go and be patient with him.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Nov 29, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Maybe you two would benefit from seeing a sex/relationship therapist--together. Intimacy issues are often very deep-seated and difficult to explore, but your partner needs to be willing to delve into that if he wants your relationship to be healthy. Likewise you need to be involved in that too in order to understand where he's coming from and to perhaps get to the bottom of why your sex drive is so extreme.
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    @ bad_wolf

    i agree with you regarding the cycle... it looks like it's the case - taht's waht he told me- He thiks about it - get stressed out and fails... and the more it happens the more he gets stressed... I told him it's fine and there's no reason why he should be stressed...

    @antelope

    I thought so when i saw he delets the history of his pornos from his laptop - i told him i'm not sure what he likes anymore - i gently told me he can open up to my and we can explore anything he wants together - no problem at all - he said he appreciats that but he's not doing it... I've recently chacked his laptop history and still he leave the main porno site page but not specific videos, so i can not see what he's been wanking off with... ggggrrrrr!!!! icon_evil.gif
    icon_evil.gificon_evil.gif
    You are probably right - i'd leave him alone and be patient - I get jelous about it though!!!icon_sad.gif

    @NC3athlete

    i agree with you too - you're right - but as i said already i'm willing to do anything - is part of his culture to be very reserved and part of mine to be very OPEN!!! but not sure whatelse to say to him after told him he can be totally open and he knows he can trust me...icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    I swear there's a new "Always horny" thread on this site every day. You guys should get together and start a support group... Horndogs Anonymous

    "Hello, my name is Endo, and I am always horny."

    (group) "Hello Endo"

    "Last night I was watching a Golden Girls rerun on Lifetime, and it made me horny. It was the one where Dorothy and Rose get into a fight. What is wrong with me?" (sobs uncontrollably)
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    @endo

    really? are you part of it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    Agladiator said@endo

    really? are you part of it?


    Oh yeh. Same issue as you... mismatched libidos are VERY common.
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    very....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    Just a random thought.

    Could it be that he's wanking to straight porn?
  • Agladiator

    Posts: 39

    Nov 29, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    Meaning he's bi? I WISH - i do wank at straight pornos all the times - hw's well aware i love straoght pornos and bisex as i wouldn't have any problem...

    The worry is.. is he into BIG cock??? And doesn;t want me to know as he thinks I would get upset????