Chatting with guys.

  • Pnut_Butter

    Posts: 3

    Dec 01, 2011 1:34 PM GMT
    Hey guys. I've been lurking for a little bit, and I thought you might be able to help me with this. I'm 35 and coming out of an 8 year relationship. It's been hard but I'm eager to meet new people.

    My partner was always the social planner and over the years I've fallen into some very bad introverted habits. I'm very confident talking about work and certain topics (like the taboo politics) but I'm horrible with just casual chit chat. My mind just goes blank and I literally can't think of things say. I'm afraid it makes me come off stiff, formal or uninterested. It's even worse when I'm talking to gay guys. I just get nervous and run out of things to say. I'm not even interested in dating, I'm trying to make some new (preferably gay) friends.

    What do you guys talk about when conversation dries up? Any tips? Thanks. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    Ask questions of the other guy. What movies have you seen lately? Where you work out? You can ask him about family, where he lives, TV, video games, computers, etc. Most guys are happy to talk about themselves.
  • Pnut_Butter

    Posts: 3

    Dec 01, 2011 2:46 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSex.


    ^ True. Always a fun topic. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Pnut_Butter

    Posts: 3

    Dec 01, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    antelope saidAsk questions of the other guy. What movies have you seen lately? Where you work out? You can ask him about family, where he lives, TV, video games, computers, etc. Most guys are happy to talk about themselves.


    I'm always better off talking about them. I just need to work on keeping things flowing.. thanks.
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    Dec 01, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSex.


    Don't talk.

    Do it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    antelope saidAsk questions of the other guy. What movies have you seen lately? Where you work out? You can ask him about family, where he lives, TV, video games, computers, etc. Most guys are happy to talk about themselves.


    With moderation. You don't want to make it look like you're interrogating him either.
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    Dec 01, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    make fun of them. that seems to work icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    GVJoe90 saidmake fun of them. that seems to work icon_eek.gif


    yesssss. You are soooooooo smart
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2011 4:08 PM GMT
    most people don't want to listen to you. They want an audience. If you learn to become or at least to pretend to be a good listener, you will have more friends than you know what to do with, especially gay ones......cuz they never shut the fuck up.
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    Dec 01, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    dekiruman saidmost people don't want to listen to you. They want an audience. If you learn to become or at least to pretend to be a good listener, you will have more friends than you know what to do with, especially gay ones......cuz they never shut the fuck up.

    That's true. People love to talk about themselves, so much so that what you say often becomes a springboard for them to launch into another life story. I've been guilty of it before and really hate it when I do that.
  • carew28

    Posts: 658

    Dec 01, 2011 9:55 PM GMT
    It's true that most people like to talk, and appreciate an audience. Just practice having an interested expression on your face (even if the person you're listening to is boring as hell), smile at him and nod your head once in awhile, and everything will be fine, in the vast majority of cases.

    The only problem that sometimes comes up, is if you're with someone who might, like yourself, not be a really good conversationalist. That can be awkward for a short while, as both of you flounder around, trying to think of things to say to keep the conversation going. But even then, things usually work out, because each of you within a few minutes, becomes aware of the fact that the other, like himself, isn't a good conversationalist. You both understand the situation, and it's okay to flounder around, because you each know what the other person is going through.

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 01, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    People love to talk about themselves. Ask questions that you wouldn't mind answering. Then ask follow up question on the same topic. They will (should?) reciprocate in kind.
  • jboy84

    Posts: 556

    Dec 01, 2011 10:02 PM GMT
    This is a really cute forum.

    I think you should be yourself.. talk about things that you're comfortable to talk about. Genuine people smell fakes a mile off, and if you're looking for a genuine person you have to be genuine yourself!

    You'll find someone who wants to hear what you have to say. I'd have a conversation with you about politics icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 01, 2011 10:06 PM GMT
    Start by asking the other guy to tell you a little about himself, likes, dislikes, family, fun, activities. This way you'll have plenty of things to comment and discuss and you'll actually be letting him take the lead. Good luck.