Is there any way to improve my gaydar?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    I live in an extremely homophobic country and I have a terrible gaydar icon_sad.gif, Ok well ... like I can tell If a guy is gay if he’s somewhat to very feminine just like most straights, but it’s tottaly impossible for me to tell when the guy is masculine, and this is actually the type I'm attracted to.
    So do you guys have any tips that could help me to improve my gaydar toward masculin guys?
    Thank you ^_^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThis is sort of an odd question, what would you do with your gaydar if you had it? I mean are you just going to walk up to a guy on the street and say 'I see you are gay, do you want to date?' Does your country have gay bars or clubs or areas of town where most gays hang out? Do you have gay pride parades, and if so, how do you find out about them? Putting some guy on the spot in public is likely to get you into trouble, so not sure gaydar is really what it is that you are actually looking for. If a guy is gay, he will be overly friendly with you and is not likely to have a girl friend, but this is not always true. I met some gay guys that go on and on about pussy in their conversations with guys then turn out to be completely gay.


    No we have nothing of these stuff here, homosesuality is considered a major taboo (sadly).
    I know what you mean, but in fact I have secretly a crash on one of my Co-werkers, if I could tell that he's gay I will make a step but I don't. his so nice with me and he enjoys my company but this doesn't mean anything I mean lots of guys do that too. so if my gaydar was good I could tell apart those who like me as a friend and those who are sexually attracted.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 01, 2011 9:22 PM GMT
    I have no idea if this is true today, but some years ago, it was common in both Turkey and Syria for men to have sexual encounters in baths (when the society did not tolerate - and for the most part still does not tolerate - gay sexual activity. If that is also today true in your country . . . perhaps it would be a forum for seeing how gaydar (or at least eye contact) worked there. Of course, only someone who lived there could tell you if this is a safe practice there.
    In such a homosexually repressed country as yours, I don't think you could ever totally trust your gaydar as a basis for soliciting a stranger. Gaydar can never be relied on as totally accurate - it can just give you an indication of likelihood. It is much easier for us in europe and north america, where totally straight men would not stare at you sexually, hold hands, kiss, or otherwise touch each other, as they may in arab cultures. Even with good gaydar, it must be very difficult to meet a new gay or bi friend unless introduced by someone you both know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    Mrmediterranean saidI live in an extremely homophobic country and I have a terrible gaydar icon_sad.gif

    At first I thought you might be a fellow American, I had to click on your profile to see that you don't live in the US.

    I don't know how to advise you, since gaydar is very related to cultural norms of gay behavior. I have good gaydar in the US; I probably wouldn't have in Algeria.

    But in general it's being very observant, and sensitive to many things, no one of which may mean a guy is gay. The tone of his voice, phraseology, his posture, hand gestures, his vocabulary, a certain sparkle in his eyes, and a hundred other things may form the impression that is gaydar. Perhaps spending more time with groups of gay men may better attune you to the gay vibes a guy gives off in Algeria.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    Suetonius saidI have no idea if this is true today, but some years ago, it was common in both Turkey and Syria for men to have sexual encounters in baths (when the society did not tolerate - and for the most part still does not tolerate - gay sexual activity. If that is also today true in your country . . . perhaps it would be a forum for seeing how gaydar (or at least eye contact) worked there. Of course, only someone who lived there could tell you if this is a safe practice there.
    In such a homosexually repressed country as yours, I don't think you could ever totally trust your gaydar as a basis for soliciting a stranger. Gaydar can never be relied on as totally accurate - it can just give you an indication of likelihood. It is much easier for us in europe and north america, where totally straight men would not stare at you sexually, hold hands, kiss, or otherwise touch each other, as they may in arab cultures. Even with good gaydar, it must be very difficult to meet a new gay or bi friend unless introduced by someone you both know.


    you're right, that makes sens, stright guys hug eachother very often here and it's normal, wish make the the gaydar untrusted. maybe I need something besides that so yeah i'll check an algerian forum see what I can get from someone who live here. Thank you icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Mrmediterranean saidI live in an extremely homophobic country and I have a terrible gaydar icon_sad.gif

    I don't know how to advise you, since gaydar is very related to cultural norms of gay behavior. I have good gaydar in the US; I probably wouldn't have in Algeria.


    If gaydar doesn't work in algeria, than this leaves me no choice but immigrating I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 9:58 PM GMT
    Mrmediterranean said
    Art_Deco said
    Mrmediterranean saidI live in an extremely homophobic country and I have a terrible gaydar icon_sad.gif

    I don't know how to advise you, since gaydar is very related to cultural norms of gay behavior. I have good gaydar in the US; I probably wouldn't have in Algeria.

    If gaydar doesn't work in algeria, than this leaves me no choice but immigrating I guess.

    Well, MY gaydar might not work in Algeria, whereas YOURS might. As I said, a good part of it is cultural, and you know your own culture better than I would.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 01, 2011 10:05 PM GMT
    Suetonius saidI have no idea if this is true today, but some years ago, it was common in both Turkey and Syria for men to have sexual encounters in baths (when the society did not tolerate - and for the most part still does not tolerate - gay sexual activity. If that is also today true in your country . . . perhaps it would be a forum for seeing how gaydar (or at least eye contact) worked there. Of course, only someone who lived there could tell you if this is a safe practice there.

    My gaydar remains famously lousy, dating back even to my own bathhouse romps where I couldn't tell whether "those guys" were gay. Perhaps this is off-topic but may be of interest to some (copied from a previous post of mine):

    "In my early twenties when I'd still be mistaken for a minor I went to legitimate, ancient Turkish baths in Budapest and Istanbul. I assumed they were culturally hetero institutions but the experience to even my untrained eyes reeked of gay subtext. In Budapest, in lieu of a towel the cover-up I was given for modesty's sake amounted to a tiny apron with just a flimsy napkin-sized piece of cloth in the front designed to screen one's junk - I felt more self conscious and exposed with it on than if I were fully nude, particularly as it clung to me as I waded out of an indoor springfed pool feeling the eyes of a posse of mustacioed men upon me. The next time I tried a Turkish bath, in Istanbul, I went with several friends to feel safer, unwittingly assembling for myself an even bigger audience. In a big domed room we'd each be laid out near naked atop a huge hexagonal slab of heated carerra marble as the others, encircling the slab, awaited their turn. When mine came the muscular and frighteningly strong masseur, a hulk with sandy brown hair, hamhock hands and a deep booming voice, groped me with such force I thought my bones would break and then while clenching my pecs so hard that I practically whimpered in submission he leant closely into my ear and seductively murmered "hashish...hashish..." in hot, breathy waves. Now I know this all sounds like the prelude to bad porn but it really happened and I still have no idea whether my experiences were atypical or whether those Old World baths were designed to provide a culturally acceptable outlet for gay activity."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 15, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    MrMediterranean said
    Art_Deco said
    Mrmediterranean saidI live in an extremely homophobic country and I have a terrible gaydar icon_sad.gif

    I don't know how to advise you, since gaydar is very related to cultural norms of gay behavior. I have good gaydar in the US; I probably wouldn't have in Algeria.


    If gaydar doesn't work in algeria, than this leaves me no choice but immigrating I guess.


    My gaydar used to be good, maybe it still is.. But people have become so weird and unfriendly here, That I am thinking of immigrating too, Back to my own country. I guess I'm just bored with here (Australia) and the unfriendly faces and attitudes, the supposed gay people are not even friendly either, no matter how much you try. You just get a one night stand here if your lucky.

    But where I came from (I don't know why on this Earth my parents Brought me here) Bilbao, Northern Spain... nobody gives a hoot who is gay. In fact guys hold hands openly in the streets.

    Sounds like a place you might like to go to. Im seriously thinking about it.

    You are from Algeria, so you won't have to sit on a plane as long as i will have to anyway!! ha ha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 15, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    Move to France.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 15, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Haaretz saidMove to France.


    oh and I forgot about France. My culture is similar I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 15, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    One thing you can try, if you can get away with it... do you see this co-worker in a public setting, watch his eyes. When an attractive man goes by, does he look, even for a second? Or do his eyes linger on women? Often people give away more than they realize.