EROTIC RACISM?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 3:25 PM GMT
    Most of us would agree that racism exists in the world, such as when an employer or landlord systematically excludes hiring or renting to a person of color. But what about "erotic racism"?

    Is it racist, perhaps unconscious, to have little or no sexual DESIRE for men of a certain race/ethnicity?

    And if so, then how do you change something you don't desire?

    Keep in mind: the question I am posing is about what gets you aroused, what gives you an erection. This is not a question about with whom you are friends, nor even a question about with whom you have had sex in the past.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 3:42 PM GMT
    Having lived in the last 7 years in a cosmopolitan city such as Dubai with more than 100 nationalities residing here, I do not consider it racism per se.
    The desire you're referring to has more bearing with the individual's attractiveness quotient, your mood and probably how drunk you are! icon_lol.gif
    You don't change yourself to liking something you don't desire. Rather, you and your preferences change over time even before you realize it. This was once the case with me having no interest having sex with uncut men (Brits + Europeans) back in the day.
    If it's the case of race, I hardly find my fellow Asians sexually appetizing. Nowadays, only those Asians who make me wanna jump their bones have something "extra-extra" about them that is not quite fathomable, so to speak, that makes me just wanna bend over and surrender.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    i once read a sad but awfully interesting treatise about how gay men are in love with themselves, and thus are only attracted to other men who look like them. just in observation this seems even more prevalent among gays than lesbians.

    too many times we see not just people who will only date within their own race, but also their own build, social class, etc.

    personally it bugs me. not because i'm a victim of it, but because i think it's appalling. is it really true that we're genetically predisposed to only like other guys who look like us or is it part of the gay culture?

    i know i'm turned on by dudes of all races if i think they're hot, both hot body and hot personality. but i see many other gays who don't feel the same.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 7:18 PM GMT
    I think if you like somebody, the race issue will fade once you get to know the guy better, not only sexually, albeit the topic is strictly about erotic attraction. And you cant change to desire something you dont like. that's like asking you to have sex with women so you can start liking them sexually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    TO ROUNDHOUSE; I think ive read that same treatise yesterday. Apparently we're all sexual narcissists; the theory is we, as men, desire in other men what we admire in ourselves, therefore, would be unacceptable to desire someone whose not of our kind. But thats theory. to limit yourself to desire only certain people is kinda sad. if your dick gets hard, its okay. and if your heart starts beating a little faster and your soul starts stirring, thats okay too. why deny yourself that kind of euphoria just because the person you're with is different to you? On the other hand, if you're not turned on, then dont push it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 7:40 PM GMT
    You can look at it as Racial Profiling OR just a personal preference....

  • Jun 07, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    Is it really racist, or just an attraction. You can dislike someone for their personality, but it could be preferences rather than labeling it racism. I myself am generally attracted to Latin guys or guys who appear to be Latin. Now, I am not really attracted to guys that are really light skinned even if they are Latin. So, am I using erotic racism because I am not attracted to certain Latin guys that are really fair skinned? I would like to think it isn't racist, but just a preference. Similar to how you like your eggs cooked, scrambled, poached or sunny side-up. :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 8:09 PM GMT
    This is also called sexual racism. If one has a blanket disinterest in an entire race/ethnicity, and doesn't look at individuals from that race/ethnicity to determine if there's an attraction, I'd say there's an element of sexual racism involved.

    http://www.sexualracismsux.com/sexual-racism-sux/
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Jun 07, 2008 9:04 PM GMT
    I agree, it is racism. I mean if you don't prefer a certain trait, you are a racist! If you don't like butts prickled with pimples and has a mutated nose growing out, you are prejudice prick.

    Equilibrium shouldn't only affect a miniority's individual rights, but also inscriminate other's rights. Everyone must be attracted to everyone. If you're a straight guy and aren't attracted to fags, you are committing hate crime. If you're dating someone you're attracted to, stop now, date an old saggy man instead.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 9:16 PM GMT
    It would be an awfully fucking boring world if we all lusted after everybody. I believe that would be a dull world, and not in a good sense at all. I have my opinions of who is attractive to me and don't give a rat's ass if you feel entitled to make the list or if your feelings get hurt. Get over it.And grow up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 07, 2008 9:23 PM GMT
    MuscleToronto saidMost of us would agree that racism exists in the world, such as when an employer or landlord systematically excludes hiring or renting to a person of color. But what about "erotic racism"?

    Is it racist, perhaps unconscious, to have little or no sexual DESIRE for men of a certain race/ethnicity?

    And if so, then how do you change something you don't desire?

    Keep in mind: the question I am posing is about what gets you aroused, what gives you an erection. This is not a question about with whom you are friends, nor even a question about with whom you have had sex in the past.


    Not to be mean, but this is the same question being asked with a different mask....Oh and this time a white guy (or someone who looks white) is asking it.

    popcorn.gif
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Jun 07, 2008 11:55 PM GMT
    I think sexual (erotic) racism can be changed if someone is open to at least considering the possibility that an individual is not the same as his collective ethnic group.
    And as for calling it sexual preference, I'll just add this. A sexual preference would be saying that dark skin is not a turn on sexually, the same way a gut on an otherwise cute guy is not a turn on for me. It crosses the line to racism when someone follows it up by saying something like this line I got from a guy on Adam4Adam: "yeah, I've never slept with a black guy before. In fact the thought of it kind of disgusts me...".
    So for all of you who think that sexual racism is overblown, just really take a look at the motive/intent behind the so-called sexual preference.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 1:40 AM GMT
    You've got to be kidding us. So, do you discriminate against women by being gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 6:50 AM GMT
    ugg, please don't be blowing this out of proportion.

    take the question for what it is and don't be a politician.

    some people do, without question, eliminate prospects purely based on race. my thoughts on that are a) it's their opinion, their friday night, their bed, it doesn't matter. b) in accord with (a), it doesn't affect anyone else to any extent except as would be an intimacy between two people with appropriate trimmings.

    now on the flip side, if you're the person being discriminated against, does it really matter? do you really want to make that person date you when you know they are dead set against it?

    now please note. i'm not excusing it, nor do i agree with that mindset. but it is a personal judgement call on a personal opinion. unless it's a hooker/client relationship with legal standing, you really can't play the race card.

    all other things being equal, i'll sleep with anyone that arouses me and by experience that has never precluded any race
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 7:00 AM GMT
    Hmmm erotic racism? a that's a loaded 2 word statement and totally open to interpretaion.
    Is it bad to not be into redheads? Is it bad to not be into uncut guys? Is it bad to not be into cut guys? You either are or you're not attracted to someone. wait hold on a minute...I'm watching a repeat of the Best of Soul Train AND they actually have Frankie Valli singing Grease on the show.....brb...
    I dunno he looks kinda Italian.....he's prob cut and has dark hair. I don't think I'd like him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 7:03 AM GMT
    Sexually, I am drawn very much to Caucasian features. Doesn't matter what color your skin is, but as long as you have that honky (KIDDING! Jeeze icon_rolleyes.gif ) nose, I'm turned on. Reasons are too long to enumerate. And I've already discussed them before in two 'racism' threads.

    Personality-wise it depends a lot on the person. I think I can fall for a guy who isn't of the race I find physically attractive. Can't say though, since I've never even had a relationship. LOL

    I don't think it's racism at all. Racism is blithely shrugging off a person of a race you don't usually go for simply because of their race.

    e.g. A filipino who looks latino meets a guy who doesn't like Asians. But he thinks he's latino, so they date. Then he finds out he's filipino - i.e. Asian. And he suddenly ignores him completely.

    THAT's racism.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 7:16 AM GMT
    you only have half a face sedative, how could i ever be satisfied?

    i think false boundaries are drawn with the same logic and you're left wondering if anyone has even a slight chance in reasoning such folk.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 7:36 AM GMT
    FirefighterBlu3 saidyou only have half a face sedative, how could i ever be satisfied?

    i think false boundaries are drawn with the same logic and you're left wondering if anyone has even a slight chance in reasoning such folk.


    LOL I actually tried to change my main pic twice the past few weeks. The first try ended up with my first rejected pic. The second try was weird because though they were approved this remained my main pic for some reason. icon_confused.gif Oh well...

    As for false boundaries. It also works inversely. 'Rice queens' are sometimes as guilty of racism as well - they can't see past the race.

    I'd prefer a person who you can look at me and see not an Asian guy, but a guy. That's it.

    Those who ignore people based on race, I just shrug my shoulders at and avoid.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 3:16 PM GMT
    I read somewhere that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," which means that it's human nature (not just gay men) to like what smells, tastes, etc. like us, and that the incest taboo is strong because it has to fight against this tendency.

    In my experience, some gay men like men who are very different from themselves and some gay men would like a "twin." What's sad, outrageous, etc. about any of it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    I tend to find that men are attracted mostly to what is considered hot or sexy at the moment. I also see that this attraction is influenced by what the "media" portrays as attractive. The media is prejudicial. For Instance. While I was hanging out with a couple of friends of mine, we just happened to be skimming though a couple of gay community mags. Here in New York, we have the "Next" and "HX" mags. One of my friends looked up to the rest of us and says "Have you notice that when there is an advertisement for a hot vacation spots their is always attractive white guys but when there is an ad for domestice violence or some sexually transmitted disease there is always a hot latin or black guy?" Of course I thought it was just a coincidence. But every gay mag since then has the same type of advertisement. There is an underlying motive there.
    Attraction comes from within. Am I attracted to one such as myself? No, that narcissistic. But instead of asking whether there is such a thing as erotic racism, ask yourself "Why I am not attracted to this racial group?" or "Am I a racist?". Because I also discovered that a stiff dick don't have a conscience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 3:55 PM GMT
    By the way. The guy that pointed that out to me was white. Of course he is attracted to men of color. However, I think that is why his observation was so objective.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 4:15 PM GMT
    Interesting question. One that I have thought of a lot since I was 17 and I was at a crossroads with myself. My racial mixture is part Black/ part American Indian/ half French. Interestingly enough my mom is full blood French and thats where I get my skin tone and hair and build.

    My sexual preference does not include men of color, except for Vin Diesel. I'm more of an Irish/German/British kind of guy myself. Nothing like a set of baby blues to make your head turn.

    I know a lot of guys that get upset when you tell them your just not into men of color. Guess what, get over it. There is nothing wrong with liking what you like. I know guys that like very very young guys, I know guys that like really really old guys, I know guys that like skinny guys, I know guys that only go after 300lbs plus guys. Who is to say that you can tell them what they cant go after? Your likes are your likes. You are turned on by what turns you on.

    I don't think it has anything to do with Racism. I know that my dick doesn't get hard for what my dick does get hard for. Basically, thats as far as I need to know.

  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Jun 08, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    I think some guys are misinterpreting the racism part of the equation in this thread. Most of us can handle someone saying they aren't into "fill in the blank". If someone tells me that they aren't into black guys, I may not like it but that's life.
    If someone then goes on to say that the thought is disgusting to them, then we have a problem. Not necessarily because that's what they feel inside. But because they actually had the gall and stupidity to say it to me out loud. Where I grew up those words would guarantee an ass-kicking. I guess in the online world people feel like they can say such things without any threat of social consequence...

    Not saying that I'm a fighting man (because I'm not). Something like that comes pretty close to pushing me to that point though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 7:59 PM GMT
    I will take a few days to process this proposition and then give my response. But be warned, I'll be restrained and measured (as always), but won't pull any punches.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 08, 2008 8:52 PM GMT
    You are what you are and you Are attracted to what you are attracted to. I am sexually attracted to Asian men, almost all Asian men turn me on in some way, some more then others. I live in a western country and have adapted to being with Caucasian guys some times but they NEVER arouse me like Asian guys. It's got to be genetic in my book, I never asked to be this way and I can not think why it would be. But it's a very strong preference in my being.icon_biggrin.gif