How to approach discrete guy that I found out was bi when I wasn't supposed to know, and I'm discrete too?

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    Dec 05, 2011 8:49 PM GMT
    There's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?

    I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?
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    Dec 05, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    next time you walk past him, maintain eye contact, smile and say hi

    That'll start things off.

    or do as I'd do, walk up to him, say hi, start a conversation.
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    Dec 05, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidnext time you walk past him, maintain eye contact, smile and say hi

    That'll start things off.

    or do as I'd do, walk up to him, say hi, start a conversation.


    I do say hi to him all the time because we are aquaintances but how will that or looking start things?
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    Dec 05, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    good way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.
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    Dec 05, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    lilTanker saidnext time you walk past him, maintain eye contact, smile and say hi

    That'll start things off.

    or do as I'd do, walk up to him, say hi, start a conversation.


    I do say hi to him all the time because we are aquaintances but how will that or looking start things?


    ah well then you didn't mention that in your opening post.

    get close to him, talk, admit to him your bi/gay/straight but curious, what ever label works for you.
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    Dec 05, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidgood way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.


    he wont get the hint I'm trying to hit on him?
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    Dec 05, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    lilTanker saidgood way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.


    he wont get the hint I'm trying to hit on him?

    well if you wanna be upfront about it, tell him your bi/gay/straight but curious/whatever and your interested in him.


    ps, don't send him an anonymous text, that's just freaking creepy as hell
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 05, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    lilTanker saidnext time you walk past him, maintain eye contact, smile and say hi

    That'll start things off.

    or do as I'd do, walk up to him, say hi, start a conversation.


    I do say hi to him all the time because we are acquaintances but how will that or looking start things?

    You need to take Seduction 101. Well, since you are acquainted, arrange to bump into him at the appropriate hour for having a beer, etc, and ask him to join you for a beer/coffee/whatever with you. When you are sitting facing him, take the opportunity to say something like, "man, you have incredibly blue eyes" (or whatever is the appropriate aspect to be complimented) while you are staring sexily into his eyes, and take it from there. Try accidentally lightly bumping your hand against his (or holding it, if he has responded already.)
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 05, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    lilTanker saidgood way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.


    he wont get the hint I'm trying to hit on him?

    Don't you want him to know you are hitting on him? Isn't that the whole point?
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    Dec 05, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidgood way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.


    Then ask him if he'd enjoy learning more about the prostate.
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    Dec 05, 2011 10:10 PM GMT
    RedheadedRy said
    Then ask him if he'd enjoy learning more about the prostate.


    RR wins the thread.
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    Dec 05, 2011 10:18 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidThere's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?

    I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?


    Ok.

    Dude.

    Discreet (ie, in the closet) is, well, whatever. If you can't be honest about who you are yet, hopefully this hassle will help prove why the closet sucks.

    But to your problem: if you want to have a life (whether it's a sex life or a dating life or what have you) you need to man up. If you want to go out with him, then figure out what a) would be the type of situation that would make you comfortable b) make it a little safer than that (no one around, safe place, whatever) c) DO IT. Ask him out. Ask him for a fuck. Whatever. But you need to ask for what you want. Don't sit back and stalk him with puppy dog eyes and intense thoughts and hope something happens.

    Don't do all this cloak-and-dagger shit. Anonymous texts? Are you serious? Wouldn't that freak you out? He's going to go nuts, and you want him to trust you with his secret - and yours? He's gonna think he's being trapped or baited.

    Yes, talking to him, in any way, will put you at risk. No shit. All interpersonal relationships are a risk - you could get turned down, you could get laughed at, you could get dumped. In your case, you could be outed. That's life as a adult. All you can do is protect yourself as much as possible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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    Dec 05, 2011 10:20 PM GMT
    torrentprime said
    FunCollegeDude saidThere's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?

    I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?


    Ok.

    Dude.

    Discreet (ie, in the closet) is, well, whatever. If you can't be honest about who you are yet, hopefully this hassle will help prove why the closet sucks.

    But to your problem: if you want to have a life (whether it's a sex life or a dating life or what have you) you need to man up. If you want to go out with him, then figure out what a) would be the type of situation that would make you comfortable b) make it a little safer than that (no one around, safe place, whatever) c) DO IT. Ask him out. Ask him for a fuck. Whatever. But you need to ask for what you want. Don't sit back and stalk him with puppy dog eyes and intense thoughts and hope something happens.

    Don't do all this cloak-and-dagger shit. Anonymous texts? Are you serious? Wouldn't that freak you out? He's going to go nuts, and you want him to trust you with his secret - and yours? He's gonna think he's being trapped or baited.

    Yes, talking to him, in any way, will put you at risk. No shit. All interpersonal relationships are a risk - you could get turned down, you could get laughed at, you could get dumped. In your case, you could be outed. That's life as a adult. All you can do is protect yourself as much as possible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.


    TP wins the thread.

  • Dec 05, 2011 10:28 PM GMT
    Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
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    Dec 05, 2011 10:35 PM GMT
    Sometimes, you just gotta grow up.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 05, 2011 10:38 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidThere's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?

    I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?
    Wow, a question I can easily answer without any hesitation. Here is the deal. If you can try to strike up a conversation with him. Try to do it where he is not around any of his friends. I mean ask him where is the a biology building or something of that nature. If you see him at a game try to sit next to him. I mean try not to make so obvious. Also do not do that crap that liltanker said that will surely run him away. Trust, I should know because I am also bi and very low key
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    Why worry about being discreet? Everyone on campus will know before long. You know don't you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    Dude,

    Have you ever had sex with anyone?

    Good lord, put yourself in a situation where you can talk to him, flirt, see if he is receptive. That's pretty much how it works with everyone, it's not a secret.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    Hmm... all I do is walk past and they're ready to jump out of the closet for me. Try that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    FunCollegeDude said
    lilTanker saidgood way to start a conversation with a uni student.

    Oh your reading Human Anatomy and Physiology, fascinating book that, what semester are you in for human sciences? (and of course if he's reading that book, he's in semester 1, but you don't make that assumption for him) and then your off, "how are you finding the class?" "how's the work load" "what sort of things are you learning?" "how are you finding the workload so far?" "awesome you seem pretty cool, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

    people LOVE talking about themselves so, talk about them.


    he wont get the hint I'm trying to hit on him?


    well if you wanna be upfront about it, tell him your bi/gay/straight but curious/whatever and your interested in him.


    ps, don't send him an anonymous text, that's just freaking creepy as hell


    To OP:
    No anonymous texts.
    Aren't you trying to hit on him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    Have a conversation with him. Once you talk enough, you'll feel more comfortable with each other. IF he is interested you'll know soon enough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    31989_1526557766831_1321283302_1386297_6

    Stupidest question / thread yet...possibly ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    You, Walking up to him: So I hear you like penis, surprise me too! Let's sex it up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    torrentprime said
    FunCollegeDude saidThere's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?

    I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?


    Ok.

    Dude.

    Discreet (ie, in the closet) is, well, whatever. If you can't be honest about who you are yet, hopefully this hassle will help prove why the closet sucks.

    But to your problem: if you want to have a life (whether it's a sex life or a dating life or what have you) you need to man up. If you want to go out with him, then figure out what a) would be the type of situation that would make you comfortable b) make it a little safer than that (no one around, safe place, whatever) c) DO IT. Ask him out. Ask him for a fuck. Whatever. But you need to ask for what you want. Don't sit back and stalk him with puppy dog eyes and intense thoughts and hope something happens.

    Don't do all this cloak-and-dagger shit. Anonymous texts? Are you serious? Wouldn't that freak you out? He's going to go nuts, and you want him to trust you with his secret - and yours? He's gonna think he's being trapped or baited.

    Yes, talking to him, in any way, will put you at risk. No shit. All interpersonal relationships are a risk - you could get turned down, you could get laughed at, you could get dumped. In your case, you could be outed. That's life as a adult. All you can do is protect yourself as much as possible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.


    You nailed it. Hope this guy listens. Somehow, I don't think he will.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2011 9:10 AM GMT
    That's awesome that you're discreet.
    Now I'll let you in on a little secret:
    A) You're not that discreet. People know.
    B) They don't care
    C) You're only hurting yourself.

    Your discretion means you won't be having some fun "indiscretions" with this cute guy.