FunCollegeDude saidThere's this really cute guy on campus that's bi but is very discrete and nobody is supposed to know. I only know because a gay friend that he told then came and told me. I want to approach him but 1) nobody is supposed to know and 2) I'm discrete myself. How should I approach this situation?
I was thinking sending him an annonymous text saying that I know but I would never out him and if he wants to talk about it message me back. good or bad?
Discreet (ie, in the closet) is, well, whatever. If you can't be honest about who you are yet, hopefully this hassle will help prove why the closet sucks.
But to your problem: if you want to have a life (whether it's a sex life or a dating life or what have you) you need to man up. If you want to go out with him, then figure out what a) would be the type of situation that would make you comfortable b) make it a little safer than that (no one around, safe place, whatever) c) DO IT. Ask him out. Ask him for a fuck. Whatever. But you need to ask for what you want. Don't sit back and stalk him with puppy dog eyes and intense thoughts and hope something happens.
Don't do all this cloak-and-dagger shit. Anonymous texts? Are you serious? Wouldn't that freak you
out? He's going to go nuts, and you want him to trust you with his secret - and yours? He's gonna think he's being trapped or baited.
Yes, talking to him, in any way, will put you at risk. No shit. All interpersonal relationships are a risk - you could get turned down, you could get laughed at, you could get dumped. In your case, you could be outed. That's life as a adult. All you can do is protect yourself as much as possible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.