Does this ever end well?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    Long story short:

    There's a guy I really like who I've been hanging out with for a couple of months now. I've told him how I've felt on multiple occasions - he has said "he's not looking to date anyone right now" and has never expressed returned feelings. But we still hang out regularly, still act cute (he cooks me dinner!)...intuition tells me I should do my best to get over him and move on, but this is the first guy I've had strong feelings for and it's rather difficult to force myself to drop it and give up hope.

    Advice on how to make a break? Any experience when this has a happy ending? It seems like this is going to suck either way - I stop hanging out with him (which would hurt) or I keep feeling torn up over him after every time we hang out (which also hurts).
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    Dec 07, 2011 5:34 AM GMT
    Can you not just be his friend? I understand the feelings are intense for you, but if it's not so for him...is he not worth having as a friend?

    I'm 27 and I absolutely do not want to date/be in a relationship. A friendship with someone that borders companionship is one thing...but that other shit? Nah.....
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    Dec 07, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    I definitely want him around as a friend - just not sure if I can get over my feelings for him while seeing him all the time. I feel like a break would need to happen, then start hanging out again. I don't know - why did I think this stuff would come easily!? haha naive I guess.
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    Dec 07, 2011 1:13 PM GMT
    Try not to spend as much time together. Find other activities to do which can help you move on. It will take time but you will have to do it. One thing I have realized about gay men is that 90% of the times "I am not looking to date anyone right now" means "Am not looking to date you right now". If this is the case he might meet someone else and that will hurt you even more.
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    Dec 07, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Try to be his friend but this just sounds bad. In my experinces, they tell you this so you back off a bit or you go out and meet someone new then its like BAM! back in your life or tries to be cause they realize what's up but don't want to package. If you still hang around with him, don't sell yourself short. If a relationship is what you seek then go for it, keep it platonic with him and with that said, putting some distance wouldn't be the wrong choice. Just watch his reaction to it and how he treats you after that. Too many guys want their cake and be able to eat it too... F'that shit!
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    Dec 07, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    asnextdoor saidTry not to spend as much time together. Find other activities to do which can help you move on. It will take time but you will have to do it. One thing I have realized about gay men is that 90% of the times "I am not looking to date anyone right now" means "Am not looking to date you right now". If this is the case he might meet someone else and that will hurt you even more.


    This.

    He's not into you and it's not happening.
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    Dec 10, 2011 10:03 AM GMT
    Try to detach yourself emotionally from the situation. Unless he ever reciprocates your feelings, this isn't going to end pretty. This same situation happened to me, and the end result left me with months and months of heart break and distress (that's still going on). You can still stay friends with him so long as you don't think of him as more than that. I suggest that you let him know how you feel...
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    Dec 10, 2011 10:43 AM GMT
    He's into you as a friend right now..... and if he is a good one enjoy it.