Philippines' Finest English Expressions (",)

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    Jun 09, 2008 11:30 AM GMT
    - True good to be true

    - When it rains, it's four.

    - Once in a new moon.

    - Please don't make fond of me.

    - The more you hate, the more you laugh.

    - Alma Mother

    - No holes barred.

    - Keep your mouth shock!

    - Well, well, well, look do we have here!

    - It's just the tip of the icing.

    - Here's more to come.

    - Connect me if I'm wrong.

    - I'm in the break of death.

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_cool.gif

    We are a cool nation, did we not?
    The reason being so, is that we as a country, are guided by "THE SEVEN SAYINGS TO LIVE BY" (...screw Covey's 7 Habits shit):

    1. Birds of the same feathers… are the same birds.

    2. Do not do unto others… what you can't do.

    3. An apple a day… is not an apple at night.

    4. When the cat is away… the mouse is alone.

    5. If others can do it… don't help.

    6. Tell me who your friends are… and I’ll tell you mine.

    7. Early to bed and early to rise… makes you sleepy in the afternoon.

    Amen.
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    Jun 09, 2008 11:34 AM GMT
    AND THERE'S MORE...

    These are actual medical comments found in patients' medical charts from Philippine General Hospital (PGH)

    1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
    disappeared.
    3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
    7. The patient refused autopsy.
    8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    9. She is numb from her toes down.
    10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
    11. The skin was moist and dry.
    12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
    13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
    15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
    16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
    18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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    Jun 09, 2008 11:44 AM GMT
    Once got into an argument with a friend of mine who insisted that the correct word is 'Laughingstuff' instead of 'Laughingstock'.

    Another friend who pronounced 'Rogue Assassin' (Elsewhere released as 'War' and 'Rogue') as 'Rouge Assassin' - I imagined Jet Li with a lipstick... LOL

    Also 'Not all those who wonder are lost'. icon_rolleyes.gif

    And my all-time favorite malapropist - Melanie Marquez, former international beauty queen. She even wrote a book about it. Hehe

    • "I coudn't care a damn!"

    • "What's your next class before this?"

    • "Can you repeat that for the 2nd time around once more?"

    • "Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?"

    • "Don't touch me not!"

    • "You! you're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!"

    • "Hello? For a while. Please hang yourself."

    • "Why should I have a calling card? I'm not a call girl!"

    • "That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other people's lives."

    • "Don't judge my brother; he's not a book." (my personal favorite LOL)

    • "I won't stoop down to my level."

    • "Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?" (Hello? Are you blind? Are you deaf? Are you dep?)

    • "Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan." (That STD, maybe he got it from a dirty toilet seat)

    • "We are lovers, not fighters."

    • "Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same." (He is still my brother, we are one and the same)

    • "I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival."

    • "Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat."

      (This is probably my happiest Christmas and happy new year to all)

      (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)

    • "Sumasakit ang migraine ko." (My migraine is aching)

    • "Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!" (My father is the only living legend that's living)

    • "Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point."

      (It's really a period, no more exclamation points)

      (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right .).

    • "Oo nga" (Yeah) , said Melanie,"pero I-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." (But I'll translate it to English, so she'll understand) Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!". ('Ang Labo Mo' is a filipino expression that translates roughly as 'I don't get you', literally it means 'You're blurry'. the point is - It wasn't in English, and it was 3 words)

    • "Dont worry little angel, big angel is here".

    • "He should be put behind bar".

    • You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four".

    • "Nikki, you're so galing (good). You should go to the states. You will sell hotcakes".

    • "They should talk behind the scene... (on Kris and Joey)

    • "Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko... sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae... talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo... PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh."

      (Don't you feel even a bit of sympathy for my brother... for his stories? haven't you been PERSUAVEd by his stories? Joey is not the kind of guy who beats up women... he's just the kind who gets into fights often... becuase he's PRO-ACCIDENT)

    • Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na? (What will happen to your showbiz career now that you're going to be a Mormon?)


      Melanie: Ah okay lang 'yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.

      (Ah, it's okay, Boy, because I've always been Semi-retarded)

    • "A man's success is a woman's behind."

    • "My husband was born on a silver spoon"

    • Ate Luds: Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo? (How do you survive your problems in life?)

      Melanie: Alam mo (You know) Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to istep your foot...ah, forward!

    • "It's not my problem anymore. It's their problem anymore."

    • Melanie Marquez was accosted by a certain guy from a certain TV network. He shouted, "Hey *****," upon which Melanie turned around and retorted, "Don't you ever, ever call me...hey!"

    • "I keep my crown in the voltage."

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 09, 2008 11:55 AM GMT
    OH THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    No wonder, the e-mail sent to me was entitled "More Melanisms"... I was thinking, wtf!? Now I get iticon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    Sedative said"Oo nga", said Melanie,"pero I-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!".

    OMG I saw that LIVE on Eye To Eye in the '90s!!! OMG, you can hear the audience laughing!!!
    Please post her "Supermodel of the World" stint in 1985. Thanks!
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    Jun 09, 2008 11:56 AM GMT
    Hmk. icon_smile.gif This one?



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    Jun 09, 2008 12:04 PM GMT
    The secret of preserving youth...
    melanie.jpg
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    Jun 09, 2008 12:12 PM GMT
    To foreigners (LOL)

    Melanie Marquez is the Filipina version of the stereotypical Dumb Blond, icon_wink.gif though she IS real, and she did say those things - often on national television. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 09, 2008 12:13 PM GMT
    "Happy Birthday very much!"
    -Ruffa Gutierrez
    Miss World 1st Runner-Up 1993
    http://www.ruffagutierrez.com
    ruffa-1.jpg
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    Jun 09, 2008 12:20 PM GMT
    WAT DA PAC!?!?!!!

    wtf.jpg
    ...or sympathy. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Jun 09, 2008 2:54 PM GMT
    LOL at these. The ex was Filipino.

    His mom: "Close/Open the light!" as opposed to switch off/on.

    Minor, but cute.
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:03 PM GMT
    kaccioto saidLOL at these. The ex was Filipino.
    His mom: "Close/Open the light!" as opposed to switch off/on.
    Minor, but cute.


    VERY TRUE!!! hahahahahah Oh no, I miss my mum now... wait I will open my selPon en kol him... icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    Well I hope he was a good lover to you... Let me guess...

    "Come, eat na!"

    icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:07 PM GMT
    LOL I love broken and improper English! icon_biggrin.gif

    Kaccioto: My dad says that too and he is American. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
    DanteCA saidLOL I love broken and improper English! icon_biggrin.gif

    Kaccioto: My dad says that too and he is American. icon_rolleyes.gif


    Dante... Ay wud lab tu mit yor papa.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Jun 09, 2008 3:16 PM GMT
    zimster said

    "Come, eat na!"

    icon_cool.gif


    My typical Italian mom would cook for any guest regardless of time. I thought she was insane, until I met my ex's mom, who basically threw food at me before I had a chance to sit. She was so cute, I miss adobo!
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:21 PM GMT
    kaccioto saidMy typical Italian mom would cook for any guest regardless of time. I thought she was insane, until I met my ex's mom, who basically threw food at me before I had a chance to sit. She was so cute, I miss adobo!

    Oh bless you, hon! I wonder if your mom and your ex's mom got along well? icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:39 PM GMT
    icon_redface.gif OH,MY,GOD!!! THIS IS SO EMBARASSING, THE SECRET'S OUT!icon_lol.gif EMBARASSINGLY FUNNY, I MUST ADMIT! I MISS ADOBO, DINUGUAN, ALL THAT FILIPINO SOUL FOOD...i'm hungry...COME,EAT NA!!!
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    Jun 09, 2008 3:41 PM GMT
    workingman saidicon_redface.gif OH,MY,GOD!!! THIS IS SO EMBARASSING, THE SECRET'S OUT!icon_lol.gif EMBARASSINGLY FUNNY, I MUST ADMIT! I MISS ADOBO, DINUGUAN, ALL THAT FILIPINO SOUL FOOD...i'm hungry...

    'Embarassing', did you say?

    LUMAYAS KAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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    Jun 09, 2008 4:11 PM GMT
    zimster said[quote][cite]workingman said[/cite]icon_redface.gif OH,MY,GOD!!! THIS IS SO EMBARASSING, THE SECRET'S OUT!icon_lol.gif EMBARASSINGLY FUNNY, I MUST ADMIT! I MISS ADOBO, DINUGUAN, ALL THAT FILIPINO SOUL FOOD...i'm hungry...

    'Embarassing', did you say?

    LUMAYAS KAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL[/quote] icon_lol.gifTHAT'S HOT! LOVE IT!!! PERO TOTOO, KAKAIN NA AKO, HINDI PA AKO NAG-ALMUSAL!icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 09, 2008 7:05 PM GMT
    dude, i was laughing so damn much reading through this thread!!!

    i've heard some of those weird medical charting phrases in my nursing classes, LOL

    and the universal filipino question, "Kumain ka na?" (Did you eat yet?)

    Does anyone still use, "Manigas ka!!!"
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jun 09, 2008 7:25 PM GMT
    Mmm... adobo. My roomate cooks us Filipino food a lot... its delicious, but I probably shouldnt eat it considering Im not a carnival.
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    Jun 09, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidMmm... adobo. My roomate cooks us Filipino food a lot... its delicious, but I probably shouldnt eat it considering Im not a carnival.


    BWAH-HAHAHAHAHA! I did a double-take on carnival. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 10, 2008 7:08 AM GMT
    mcwclewis saidMmm... adobo. My roomate cooks us Filipino food a lot... its delicious, but I probably shouldnt eat it considering Im not a carnival.


    ROFL icon_lol.gif

    *sticks tongue out at all the other expats*

    I actually ate Chicken Adobo for lunch! MWAHAHAHA
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    Jun 10, 2008 7:09 AM GMT
    Haha. I should be offended but it's just oh so true.
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    Jun 11, 2008 3:16 AM GMT
    Sedative said[quote][cite]

    *sticks tongue out at all the other expats*

    I actually ate Chicken Adobo for lunch! MWAHAHAHA


    dude, i havent had chicken adobo in so long....i gotta get me some!
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    Jun 11, 2008 3:19 AM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif Everyone's still here? man, i want some adobo now lol!!!