Do you...?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 7:20 PM GMT
    ***Firstly, I want there to be no ambiguity. This is not a complaint thread. It's a thread to see who views things in a similar manner. That's all.***

    Do any of you ever feel like you're on a time line with things in your life that shouldn't be on a timeline.

    For instances, I have these though of grandeur about in what time I need to meet someone by to feel successful in life. I think this mostly stems from always having to be 5-steps ahead in life (with school and work) and it has carried over into my personal life as well. I'm a 1st year grad student and I have 3 more years until I graduate. Call me crazy (and I know some of you will), but I feel like I need to have met, dated, and be successful with somebody by the time that I finish school so that there can be talks of find a place together shortly after I finish school. I don't know why I have this mentality and when I consciously think about it I reject this notion. However, I find myself acting and being affected by this latent ideology.

    Do other guys experience similar thoughts/beliefs?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 07, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    WillBPharmD said***Firstly, I want there to be no ambiguity. This is not a complaint thread. It's a thread to see who views things in a similar manner. That's all.***

    Do any of you ever feel like you're on a time line with things in your life that shouldn't be on a timeline.

    For instances, I have these though of grandeur about in what time I need to meet someone by to feel successful in life. I think this mostly stems from always having to be 5-steps ahead in life (with school and work) and it has carried over into my personal life as well. I'm a 1st year grad student and I have 3 more years until I graduate. Call me crazy (and I know some of you will), but I feel like I need to have met, dated, and be successful with somebody by the time that I finish school so that there can be talks of find a place together shortly after I finish school. I don't know why I have this mentality and when I consciously think about it I reject this notion. However, I find myself acting and being affected by this latent ideology.

    Do other guys experience similar thoughts/beliefs?
    Yes we all have to ideas when we are younger and some times destiny has other things in store for you. i mean if it were up to me. i would have been married with children by 30. well 30 has come and gone but i am not disappoint that i am not married with children.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Dec 07, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    I believe the same, no longer (30years worth) . . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    Yup. If the guy I'm trying to hook up with online hasn't given it up within 20 minutes of our conversation, I magically disappear. 20 minutes max--that's my timeline. You snooze, you lose.
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    Dec 07, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYup. If the guy I'm trying to hook up with online hasn't given it up within 20 minutes of our conversation, I magically disappear. 20 minutes max--that's my timeline. You snooze, you lose.


    So you're the guy they're talking about in all those 'he was nice and all of the sudden stopped talking to me' threads.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 8:05 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYup. If the guy I'm trying to hook up with online hasn't given it up within 20 minutes of our conversation, I magically disappear. 20 minutes max--that's my timeline. You snooze, you lose.


    If by "given it up" means being on his hand and knees taking it deep from one end or another... that means you don't hookup outside of a short subway ride or walking distance of your neighbourhood (like nobody north of Hells Kitchen or south of Houston if you lived in Chelsea in Manhattan, for example).

    I give my bottoms at least 40 minutes to an hour if I'm hosting.

    Sometimes these events overlap a little and become a 3some.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    Time lines - at best - are only meant to be rudimentary mental exercises to develop your skill for planning and visualizing. They, like time itself, must be fluid and endless. To stick to a rigid time line is to miss it's point entirely.

    If you create a time line for the rest of your life at the age of 15 and stick to it - then at the age of 25 you will find yourself living according to the principles, aspirations and experiences of a teen-aged boy. The same concept applies throughout a life span. Trust me - at 40 you have NO desire to live according to the terms of a 25 year old. Or a 35 year old. And you have yet to gain the wisdom of a 50 year old.

    Plan, plot, aim for a goal. And if it doesn't hit acorrding to your calendar - trust that there is something better than what you imagined possible at the time you drew up your plan.

    There always is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    Unnecessary deadlines = unnecessary stress
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    Dec 07, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    Will - I felt the exact same way my first year of graduate school.

    Two degrees later and I have chilled out quite a bit. Nothing really turned out the way I had anticipated. But it turned out to be a fun ride - even though there is no significant other and no foreseeable talks about splitting expenses with anyone - and I am still enjoying seeing where things will end up.

    You are going to stress yourself out and burn out quickly if you apply the same tenacity to your Stepford Dream Life as you do to your academic curriculum, professional networking, and research obligations.

    Choose where you want to focus your energy early on. Do you want to be successful and risk being single ... or be that guy who is just someone's mate off in the corner who can't talk about anything besides his partner? There are certainly people in between those two extremes - but the purpose of this thread is to scare you, right? Just imagine there are only the two options icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2011 11:43 PM GMT
    I often wish I had planned for the long term, but I like where my life is headed anyways.
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    Dec 08, 2011 2:14 AM GMT
    I wish there was a formula that I could plug and chug like in dosing a patient. I'd even be willing to accept the small marginal risk of adverse events...haha. Energy level wouldn't be the concern. Energy and focus are traits I have an abundance of (too much some people say). If there were a direct sure fire way to achieve those personal goals lack of effort wouldn't be the issue. And I'd tackle my grad program icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 08, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    If he's not nekkid when he introduces himself then he waited too long.
  • dcmacguy

    Posts: 102

    Dec 08, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    I had some crazy and rather materialistic goals that I wanted to meet by the time I turned 30, but they were mine so I didn't really leak or rationalize them. I had a salary in mind that I wanted, and I wanted to own a Mercedes by then (wanted one since I was 4...).

    I met the salary this past July, and ordered my Mercedes last month. I turn 30 in September.

    Now, I would like not to be single at 30. The goals never stop coming icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    WillBPharmD saidI wish there was a formula that I could plug and chug like in dosing a patient. I'd even be willing to accept the small marginal risk of adverse events...haha. Energy level wouldn't be the concern. Energy and focus are traits I have an abundance of (too much some people say). If there were a direct sure fire way to achieve those personal goals lack of effort wouldn't be the issue. And I'd tackle my grad program icon_smile.gif
    One thing you can't plan for is having an LTR. To many things that do not depend on you, your energy, your focus, your plans need to fall into place for it to work out. So, instead of planing, I'd set it as a personal goal and enjoy the ride, smelling the roses along the way.
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    Dec 08, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    My biggest obstacle honestly is my hyper-scientific viewpoint of everything. I imagine things in probabilities and interactions. I'm so use to having to account for extraneous variables. There have been only 2 guys that I have really clued in on how my brain works and my view point on relationships. It's not bad, but when you say it it sounds like hard science (that's just because my brain views things like that). It doesn't mean that I am less vested in it, nor does it mean that I don't care or have feelings. It's just the process my brain uses to understand the world around me. Needless to say, both guys didn't stick around long afterwards claiming that after that discussion they found me too "distant". (I didn't see the distance they were referring to, but I'm also not an unbiased observer).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2011 6:14 AM GMT
    I don't watch any TV. No cable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    WillBPharmD saidMy biggest obstacle honestly is my hyper-scientific viewpoint of everything. I imagine things in probabilities and interactions. I'm so use to having to account for extraneous variables. There have been only 2 guys that I have really clued in on how my brain works and my view point on relationships. It's not bad, but when you say it it sounds like hard science (that's just because my brain views things like that). It doesn't mean that I am less vested in it, nor does it mean that I don't care or have feelings. It's just the process my brain uses to understand the world around me. Needless to say, both guys didn't stick around long afterwards claiming that after that discussion they found me too "distant". (I didn't see the distance they were referring to, but I'm also not an unbiased observer).

    I wish you much success trying to figure out formulas for love, lust, trust, attraction, compatibility, pure dumb luck. I don't think it is possible to scientifically measure, analyze and predict levels of emotions.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Dec 09, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidYou're watching too much tv


    AGREED
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    Dec 09, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    bhp91126 said
    WillBPharmD said ... .

    I wish you much success trying to figure out formulas for love, lust, trust, attraction, compatibility, pure dumb luck. I don't think it is possible to scientifically measure, analyze and predict levels of emotions.
    False. Hormone levels.
    Are hormone levels used to indicate levels of emotions?
  • TennisJock10

    Posts: 208

    Dec 09, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    I often have to remind myself that I am just 19 and that I have plenty of times to sort all that crap out.

    Unfortunately, my hormones and emotions aren't always as rational...icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    bhp91126 said
    Trollileo said
    bhp91126 said
    WillBPharmD said ... .

    I wish you much success trying to figure out formulas for love, lust, trust, attraction, compatibility, pure dumb luck. I don't think it is possible to scientifically measure, analyze and predict levels of emotions.
    False. Hormone levels.
    Are hormone levels used to indicate levels of emotions?
    Emotional urges, impulses and tendencies, yes.


    Is this what all my recent emotional urges and tendencies have been about? Hormones, actually makes sense. I've been lifting harder, taking creatine, more vitamins, ZMA... icon_eek.gif
  • xKorix

    Posts: 607

    Dec 09, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    bhp91126 said
    Trollileo said
    bhp91126 said
    WillBPharmD said ... .

    I wish you much success trying to figure out formulas for love, lust, trust, attraction, compatibility, pure dumb luck. I don't think it is possible to scientifically measure, analyze and predict levels of emotions.
    False. Hormone levels.
    Are hormone levels used to indicate levels of emotions?
    Emotional urges, impulses and tendencies, yes.


    Umm I'm not a scientist or anything but that sounds kind of backwards. Usually our perception/beliefs/values(whether conscious or unconscious) dictate our hormones and not the other way around. It's the reason why 2 people can look at the same guy and one thinks he's garbage while the other worships him. If it was all "just hormones" why wouldn't both guys just wanna fuck him? If I believed a guy had no value, I wouldn't feel for, or be attracted to him(it doesn't mean the guy has no value, he could brilliant and beautiful but If I think he has no value...).