this is the story of my life, from the reverse side of things lol. i'm 'male-normative' enough to be called masculine, but the guys i'm attracted to are the kind you really can't ever tell are gay- i really like masculinity. its always been the case for me that if i'm attracted to a guy, i pretty much just assume he's straight, and leave it be- because they always are, and because i live my life by a code of not hitting on straight guys because i don't wanna make anyone uncomfortable... its how i get by in my fraternity. the frustrating thing is- if i don't like clubs and gay bars (which i don't) for meeting ppl worth pursuing, and if the internet is such an awful place for meeting guys (who don't live on the other side of the country, as the good ones invariably always do)... how the heck am i supposed to find a guy i'm attracted to who's actually attracted back?? i love college straight bars but they're always just a huge sexual frustration for me by the end of the night, because i've had to watch every guy i was attracted to go after girls in little dresses.
i don't have a solution, i just want to vent the frustration of being one of those guys who would probably be attracted to one such as yourself, but would be terrified to let you know it.
be yourself and don't HIDE being gay so much- you wouldn't be sacrificing anything to talk openly in public about guys you like or something, where i- i mean, people- could overhear you. being gay has nothing to do with liking shopping or having great taste in art- or any of the standard behavioral seriotypes- it comes down to liking the same sex. if the natural you is just very 'male-normative,' great.. but if you feel like you're scared of ppl finding out ur gay in public, and you're decidedly keeping that info to yourself, then its a problem.