what do you do if you like a guy at a straight gym....is it even possible to approach??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:37 PM GMT
    hey guys........ok so its been going on for about five months now.(I am gay but completely discreet and closeted). Started hitting this new gym and bumped into this amazing looking guy.......everytime we cross path....i just melt. All we do is make eye contact, I dont know what to do because either he is always with his friends or when alone, he doesnt make any move. Am I getting a wrong signal here? Is it possible he is very discreet or maybe he is just plain straight and this is all in my head. He is the hottest guy in the gym for me....should I just give up? any advice?

    P.s. Last week I finally spoke to him to share a machine.....next day he did the same.......and the following day as we passed each other......he said "hey whats up?" does it mean anytyhing?? Dang feel like am stuck in highschool mode lol

    UPDATE!
    So last night (friday), get out of the car and about to enter my gym and guess who is walking towards the door at the same time??? Couldnt believe my eyes. Once we got scanned....he was ahead in line,....started walking towards the locker room and I passed him, made eye contact and said "hey, how are u ?" and he replied with a smile, looking hot as ever! Nothing happend in there because he just stored his jacket and left.

    Go on the gym floor, he was on the other side doing dips and i was working on my back. But everytime i reached the water fountain, he would look and then just look away. I caught him several times checking me out, thought it was a great chance for me to go and talk, but then his workout buddies showed up. So I just gave up and concentrated on just working out. Finished my workout, head to locker and he shows up with friends, ofcourse!. got a glimps of his beautiful body. I have decided to give up because, its too risky and if he wants me then he will have to approach me. There is nothing else i can do......so guys I give up, decided to change my workout time...that way i will avoid him. I belive if it is meant to be then it is ;)

    And to all the guys who are making a big deal about, if there is such a thing called straight gym, it basically meant that it isnt located in a gay village nor in a bathhouse....grow up! And thanks to everyone else for all the advice!.........I offically give up!
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:39 PM GMT
    Yes he said whats up? How could it not mean anything. You know he just wants to meet you in the sauna and fuck you senseless. icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    *looks around*

    Wait...Frosted Flakes hasn't been here yet with his infamous signature?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    You better hope he thinks you're hot too otherwise it's "stalking" (see other thread going on)
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    I thought Canadians had more sense than this.

    Guess I was wrong...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    You could die tomorrow..............just ask him in a round about way, open the conversation up to more than just hi, find out his interests etc and you will be able to gauge quite quickly whether he's into you or not.
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    Dec 09, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    InB4...

    Yeah, you knew it. You saw it coming 1.614km away.

    {YCYL.jpg}

    Remember kids: the gym is SRS BSNS.

    Get in, workout, shower, and GTFO. Or Lose.

    l8NVK.jpg

    (slightly more reasonable answer)

    1. This post had a very high probability of this being a troll post.

    2. If a college educated man at 27 years of age does not know the nuanced conversation of talking someone up at a gym - just give up. There are better venues to meet men.

    3. If this guy has captured your heart in all of 15 minutes of passing each other on the gym equipment... you could just man up and find out if you both have mutual interests.

    Work on from that.
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    Dec 09, 2011 7:04 PM GMT
    287571_745205.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    AlphaTrigger saidInB4...

    Yeah, you knew it. You saw it coming 1.614km away.

    {YCYL.jpg}

    Remember kids: the gym is SRS BZNESS.

    Get in, workout, shower, and GTFO. Or Lose.



    (slightly more reasonable answer)

    1. This post had a very high probability of this being a troll post.

    2. If a college educated man at 27 years of age does not know the nuanced conversation of talking someone up at a gym - just give up. There are better venues to meet men.

    3. If this guy has captured your heart in all of 15 minutes of passing each other on the GM equipment... you could just man up and find out if you both have mutual interests.

    Work on from that.


    What can I say other than, "THIS"!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    hey man, this is definately not stalking cuz i dont follow him around the gym. I play it safe ;)
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    Dec 09, 2011 7:47 PM GMT
    It isn't stalking - and you have a worthy question. I've met guys in the gym or the pools and dated them (I also met one guy when I was running at lunch one day & we dated for a good long while).

    You have to set aside any shyness and go for what you want. You don't know if the guy is straight or gay, and you don't want to turn the gym into a chatty area - since we all hate seeing guys (or women) just standing around taking up space talking. You're not doing that, but you're going to want to break the ice a bit further than you've already done.

    One possible scenario:

    You: Hey man, how's it going?

    Him: Good - really good. I've got to get in a set - I've only got an hour today.

    You: Yeah - me too. Gotta rush my workout today - I'm headed out to see a basketball game tonight.

    Him: Oh cool. Warriors game?

    You: Yeah - - - you a fan?

    .............and so on. You don't want to spend a lot of time this first time talking away........but next time you see him - you can go further - telling a bit about the outcome of the game. Later - you could let him know you have an extra ticket to a game - if he'd like to go along.......and maybe grab some chow and a beer afterward.

    See where it goes. Good luck!

    icon_cool.gif
  • Brick_n_Lace

    Posts: 185

    Dec 09, 2011 8:28 PM GMT
    I have asked men out/showed interest in non-hetero environments. I always feel them out first though to see if they seem the violent or skittish type. It has never turned disastrous so far. i think the key is to ask him alone and also to do it in a respectful non sex-targeted way.

    the last guy i asked kept looking at me everyday like turning his head out of the way. i would go to the local shopping area for lunch and would constantly see him and he would always sit close to me. On the third day I just said Hi i think youre really handsome, would you mind if i gave you my number and started to hand him my card. he declined and said he was seeing "someone" but honestly i was glad to get it off my chest. Weirdly he still checks me out and if i try to ignore him he goes out of his way to make himself seen. I say all that to say read his body language but even still there is no way to know the outcome or why he behaves the way he does. A lot of men also just like attention especially at a place like the gym.
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    Dec 09, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    The hell is up with this crap? So he acknowledged you and even said a few words to you.

    Yep, he definitely wants to fuck you.
  • TallguyNLA

    Posts: 440

    Dec 09, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    well I would say that speaking to you is NO INDICATION of wanting to "hook up!"
    People (in general) go to the gym to work out, not cruise.
    I would be careful not to take his politeness for anything other than just that!
    Guys who dont know each other talk to each other all the time in the gym, its because of common interest ( in exercise or sports) NOT other men.....
    hes into women, YOU are into men, there is NO COMMON GROUND there, so dont act on any impulse and have regret later because you didn't think first!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    You've got a crush.icon_redface.gif However, I believe another wise RJer stated "I don't shit where I eat". This is the gym (and a "straight gym" at that), so keep it about working out.

    Advice: Just leave him alone. If he had as much interest in you as you do in him, then you'd be naked by now. Your conversation oozes no more sexual tension than one you could have with a cab driver, your mom, or total stranger. I hate to say it, but you won't be doing yourself any favors by pursuing something that isn't there. Sorry, bud.
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    Dec 09, 2011 9:04 PM GMT
    I'd be careful not to read anything into someone being friendly. He is likely completely clueless that you're attracted to him. I would say follow his lead in terms of conversation, etc., without being pushy, and little by little you will know more about him. Just be prepared for "my girlfriend..." or "my wife..." and ask yourself if it would be so terrible to have a hot straight gym buddy?
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    Dec 09, 2011 10:15 PM GMT
    Why not do what most people would do? Just be friendly and say hi to him? Maybe you'll make a new friend.
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    Dec 09, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    Is there such thing as a straight gym?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2011 10:19 PM GMT
    GERGIN saidIs there such thing as a straight gym?


    I was thinking the same thing...

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    Dec 09, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    yeah..i think the same way..just strike up a friendship..slowly over time..even if he's not gay,it never hurts to have another friend......just don't waste all of your time talking..workout as well........
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Dec 09, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    Keep it simple! Just see how things go and have no agenda! And keep on chatting. I find a good line to use at the gym is "how's your training going?" (Just to break ice, not to chat anyone up as the guys in my gym are pretty scary).
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    Dec 09, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    Take it slow. Begin by saying "hi/hello" on a regular basis (like at least a month); then move on to asking him 'how's he doing?'. Then, start asking him about his work-out (i.e. 'what are you working on today'; 'which exercises are good for ___?"). In couple of months, you two will start having regular conversations. At that point, ask him about his life, interests, etc. It takes time, but it allows you to gauge his interest in you.
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Dec 09, 2011 11:19 PM GMT
    ooh! ooh! Forgot to put in: apparently a good way is to ask advice for something too, or if he's doing a work out you've not seen before ask him what its for/what does it benefit.
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    Dec 09, 2011 11:28 PM GMT
    well guys so far thanks for all the comments and suggestions.....am hitting the gym now so wish me good luck.......whatever happens ...happens right? ;)

    p.s. I hope he is there....cuz i look super hot right now ....hahahaha
  • Brick_n_Lace

    Posts: 185

    Dec 10, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    GERGIN saidIs there such thing as a straight gym?


    lol i was going with it.....