Finding reasons not to work out

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    Dec 10, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    The implied superiority is interesting... Somehow being out of shape makes you a deeper, more real and sustantial person. Discuss.


    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/the-guyliner/gay-dating-do-i-really-need-a-sixpack-to-make-an-impact_b_1133329.html
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    Dec 10, 2011 4:26 PM GMT
    i did not like this article at all

    its easily refutable
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    Dec 10, 2011 5:17 PM GMT
    Tickled my funny bone!
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    Dec 10, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    this article=stupid.

    that is all.
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    Dec 10, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidThe implied superiority is interesting... Somehow being out of shape makes you a deeper, more real and sustantial person. Discuss.
    That's not what I got from the article. More like 'celebrate diversity' and 'embrace your body'. Only working on your looks isn't enough in the long run.
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    Dec 10, 2011 5:35 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWe all come in all different shapes and sizes. Just hope that the writer of that column doesn't expect to go home with an Adonis. As long as he is fine bagging a guy that mirrors his physical build then there should be no problem.

    It's when these average guys tout how much depth they have yet want to shag guys who have very nice bodies (and call these gym goers shallow for not having any interest in them to begin with) that makes them look hypocritical.

    So agree with this
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    Dec 10, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    I find that working out and "having a body" offers me so much more pleasure than just being able to bag hot guys.

    I enjoy more energy. I enjoy the look of a leader.

    I enjoy the complements I get from men, women, girls, and boys. And I don't mean sexual comments. I'm talking about the comments I get asking about fitness, nutrition and how it can make a positive impact on your life. A lot of times this conversation is paired with the fact that I've been HIV+ for 27 years. I have the opportunity inspire hope among those who may have a physical challenge. I have the opportunity to inspire the will to live and enjoy a full life among other people who live with HIV.

    I enjoy having the strength to help when others cannot. Yesterday, I was walking down 19th and Kirkham. I had missed my stop at Judah. As I was walking, a man was attempting to help his wife who had bandages on both feet, out of their car. I stopped. I asked if I could help. We used the "two-man lift" to help her to the front door, but clearly the husband was not strong enough nor capable enough to help any further. And then, with my 30lb backback still on, I picked the woman up in both arms and said, "Ok, let's try this.", and into the house we went...and up three flights of stairs. When we got into the apartment, I carried her into the living room and gently put her to rest on the sofa with her feet up over the side arm. The look on her face was priceless. She hugged me and thanked me in Cantonese. The husband give me a hug. The adult daughter had a look on her face which was nothing less than awe and gratitude. I shook her hand and left. That random act helped break the depression I was experiencing in the moment. That family helped me.

    So to those who think that working out is all about the superficial, all about the looks...it's not.

    I was meant to find my gym 14 years ago. I was meant to miss my bus stop. I was meant to make a difference in the lives of a family (and in my own life) just because I had done years of preparation, and happened to be in the right place at the right time.

    If you don't workout, you just might miss out on an experience that can help you to "See the Sun".



    So, does somehow being out of shape makes you a deeper, more real and sustantial person? Not from my experience.
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    Dec 10, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    Sounds like a fat chick conversation.
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    Dec 10, 2011 6:32 PM GMT
    "I don't want a six-pack, which is handy, as I'm unlikely ever to get one."

    well that's not a very optimistic attitude



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    Dec 10, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidThe implied superiority is interesting... Somehow being out of shape makes you a deeper, more real and sustantial person. Discuss.



    That's not what he's saying at all. He's just commenting on the seemingly obsessive nature of gay men to achieve an impeccable physique - a physique that, for many men, is impossible to achieve and/or maintain given the situation in life.

    I do think the author sounds condescending and defeatist, but his point is still valid: gay men place a lot of weight on another man's worth by their physique. It's at a point where even guys with bodies that are still physically healthy and not even out of shape/unattractive can get the cold shoulder because they don't look like the guy on the cover of DNA magazine.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Dec 10, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    The dude is trying to make a point I suppose, but it gets partially lost on how he comes across throughout the article.... like he has a chip on his shoulder. I tend to give these kind of articles less credibility because of the bias involved.

    From a personal standpoint, I started working out long before I was ever out, recognize the limitations and just try to be the best I can.
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    Dec 10, 2011 8:50 PM GMT
    This article is stupid.
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    Dec 10, 2011 8:51 PM GMT
    jpBITCHva said

    Like the author, I don't workout to look like (no offense meant) GAMrican, who has a gorgeous torso and one that I will never achieve, nor ever have. Defeatism? No, a recognition that the tradeoff in time and focus is not, to me, worth it. There's too much else I like to do. Is it wrong for someone to spend all of his non-working hours in pursuit of this? No, it's not wrong, but it tends to create people with too little breadth and too little experience.

    you HERETIC

    I banish you to gay purgatory




    the Dollar Store
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    Dec 10, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    He is so clever.

    I'm sure is thought process went something like this: "I see the hamster wheel for what it is, and I choose not to get on it."
    Bravo.

    The writer misses a few points.
    1) You will have more success finding dates and hook-ups if you look like what you want to attract.
    This is both dressing like and having a body composition similar to what you like. Skinny twinks usually attract other twinks, jocks other jocks, bodybuilders other bodybuilders, obese bears other obese bears, etc. If you want a professional guy in a three piece suit, don't dress like a hipster.

    2) It's Grindr. It's primarily a hook-up site, yes even for the guys who are there for "networking."
    If you're looking to hook up, and only have a small pic to attract another guy's attention, you post a pic of what you think other guys will find attractive/sexy about you.
    If you want meaningful conversation you use some other app and probably won't find pics of pecs and abs. If you want sex you search through the gallery of available beef for one that you find attractive and convenient.

    3) When did people start patting themselves on the back for lacking discipline? The author assumes that to have a body he envies he would have to deprive himself of certain pleasures.
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    Dec 10, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    Plain stupid.

    There ZILLIONS of guys that look amazing and are smart and funny and honest and worthwhile and sincere and fun. I am sooooooo sick of hearing people whine about grindr. What do they expect?

    Everyone is capable of being anything they want. The concept that 30 is too late is so stupid I can't even bother addressing it other than to say it is SO STUPID.

    Whenever anybody achieves something admirable there is always a crowd that will stand around and try to say they feel sorry for them because they have no life and how sad they REALLY are even though they are rich and beautiful.

    I have a feeling there is no reason to feel badly for them....

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    Dec 10, 2011 9:02 PM GMT
    I didn't make any escuses to not work out and that's why I am very fortunate to have a good physique at my age...oh and my parents are personal trainers....oh and I have a gym in my basement.





    ...




    So I have a few advantages over some people I guess icon_twisted.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14353

    Dec 10, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    jpBITCHva knows how to read, wonders never cease.
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    jpBITCHva said
    Cash saidPlain stupid.

    There ZILLIONS of guys that look amazing and are smart and funny and honest and worthwhile and sincere and fun. I am sooooooo sick of hearing people whine about grindr. What do they expect?
    Everyone is capable of being anything they want. The concept that 30 is too late is so stupid I can't even bother addressing it other than to say it is SO STUPID.
    Whenever anybody achieves something admirable there is always a crowd that will stand around and try to say they feel sorry for them because they have no life and how sad they REALLY are even though they are rich and beautiful.
    I have a feeling there is no reason to feel badly for them....

    This is not remotely how I read this article. Not even remotely.


    He starts out telling the story of "30 is too late." He carries on at length about grindr. He continues to say that abs look harsh.

    He has an implied superiority that is mostly a way to justify his self-implied mediocrity.
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    It's objectively good to be active and exercise.

    It's objectively bad to have kneejerk, defensive reactions and miss the point.
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    Greg0201 saidIt's objectively good to be active and exercise.

    It's objectively bad to be have kneejerk, defensive reactions and miss the point.


    It's sort of a slam in the face to those of us that are dedicated to working out...
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    JakeGHK said
    Cash saidPlain stupid.

    There ZILLIONS of guys that look amazing and are smart and funny and honest and worthwhile and sincere and fun. I am sooooooo sick of hearing people whine about grindr. What do they expect?

    Everyone is capable of being anything they want. The concept that 30 is too late is so stupid I can't even bother addressing it other than to say it is SO STUPID.

    Whenever anybody achieves something admirable there is always a crowd that will stand around and try to say they feel sorry for them because they have no life and how sad they REALLY are even though they are rich and beautiful.

    I have a feeling there is no reason to feel badly for them....



    Who are you talking about?


    Oh GAWD Jake..what do you want clarification on? Or can you just cut to the chase and go on one of your tedious, non-sensical tirades now and save some time?
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:12 PM GMT
    JakeGHK said
    7Famark said
    Greg0201 saidIt's objectively good to be active and exercise.

    It's objectively bad to be have kneejerk, defensive reactions and miss the point.


    It's sort of a slam in the face to those of us that are dedicated to working out...


    I think your comment is a slam in a face.

    I don't want a six-pack, which is handy, as I'm unlikely ever to get one. They look ugly, harsh, as if you don't do anything else except slog at it in the gym to have this alien stomach, which, of course, you are required to show off at any given opportunity. I go to the gym; I've got a 'body', but I've got a real one. There's hardly any fat and a few T-shirt friendly muscles are in attendance, yes, and the tummy's flatter than many men my age, but it's real. It's a body that likes a few beers, has been known to eat badly and likes to go for a run. I can look in the mirror at it and know that it's mine - that it's living along with me and I'm not killing myself to make it look impeccable. And, most importantly, it's not for display. You only get to see it if I really want you to.


    It really is. If he thinks that six-packs are "ugly and harsh" that's fine - that is his perogative. But this entire article implies that because you are dedicated to working on perfecting your physique, you are somehow less "real" or less "worthy"

    Because when those eager eyes tire of looking at faultlessness and uniformity, they'll come looking somewhere else, for something real. And I'll be waiting.

    How is that not a slap in the face?
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    JakeGHK said
    Cash said
    jpBITCHva said
    Cash saidPlain stupid.

    There ZILLIONS of guys that look amazing and are smart and funny and honest and worthwhile and sincere and fun. I am sooooooo sick of hearing people whine about grindr. What do they expect?
    Everyone is capable of being anything they want. The concept that 30 is too late is so stupid I can't even bother addressing it other than to say it is SO STUPID.
    Whenever anybody achieves something admirable there is always a crowd that will stand around and try to say they feel sorry for them because they have no life and how sad they REALLY are even though they are rich and beautiful.
    I have a feeling there is no reason to feel badly for them....

    This is not remotely how I read this article. Not even remotely.


    He starts out telling the story of "30 is too late." He carries on at length about grindr. He continues to say that abs look harsh.

    He has an implied superiority that is mostly a way to justify his self-implied mediocrity.


    He's telling a story of what a guy told to him.
    He is talking about how grindr guys are only focused on nice muscles and not other aspects.

    I dont think he has a self-implied mediocrity.


    Fascinating! Frank and insightful. That was a delight! Thanks!!!
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    Dec 10, 2011 9:14 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    Greg0201 saidIt's objectively good to be active and exercise.

    It's objectively bad to be have kneejerk, defensive reactions and miss the point.


    It's sort of a slam in the face to those of us that are dedicated to working out...


    It depends on how you choose to take it. Getting angry about it is an admission of guilt. If you're doing nothing wrong, then why the anger?

    I didn't view the author to be overly damning. He's simply saying that he's sick of the lack of depth out there. He's right; there are a lot of vapid muscle queens. But there are also tons of vapid out-of-shape queens.


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    Dec 10, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    JakeGHK said
    7Famark said
    Greg0201 saidIt's objectively good to be active and exercise.

    It's objectively bad to be have kneejerk, defensive reactions and miss the point.


    It's sort of a slam in the face to those of us that are dedicated to working out...


    I think your comment is a slam in a face.

    I don't want a six-pack, which is handy, as I'm unlikely ever to get one. They look ugly, harsh, as if you don't do anything else except slog at it in the gym to have this alien stomach, which, of course, you are required to show off at any given opportunity. I go to the gym; I've got a 'body', but I've got a real one. There's hardly any fat and a few T-shirt friendly muscles are in attendance, yes, and the tummy's flatter than many men my age, but it's real. It's a body that likes a few beers, has been known to eat badly and likes to go for a run. I can look in the mirror at it and know that it's mine - that it's living along with me and I'm not killing myself to make it look impeccable. And, most importantly, it's not for display. You only get to see it if I really want you to.


    It really is. If he thinks that six-packs are "ugly and harsh" that's fine - that is his perogative. But this entire article implies that because you are dedicated to working on perfecting your physique, you are somehow less "real" or less "worthy"


    Realize that Jake really wants to talk about himself here. And justify the stupid ski mask / head wrap pic.