How to Get Him to Go On a Date Instead of Hooking Up?

  • EddieT

    Posts: 93

    Dec 10, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    Hey guys,

    first time posting on here, figured I'd get some useful advice...

    There's a guy I met and he wants to hookup with me. He's gorgeous and I've always done the wrong thing by hooking up and then not ever being considered again. Well, I don't want to screw this up, is there a way I can tell him that I would like to get to know him better and possibly date instead of hooking up?

    I know he might just want sex but I'm not sure if there's some way to make him consider doing something more significant....I am lovesick and I'm probably looking in the wrong spot, but I'm not sure how to get a guy to consider dating and getting to know each other better before sex....

    Any advice is welcome....thanks in advance!


    I'm not sure how he would respond to "I'd rather get to know you better, can we not hook up and maybe go on a date instead?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    Try it as a compliment like: "From you I'd like more than just a hook-up"

    But don't agonize over what to say, just tell him what you want. If he's interested in you he'll consider dating, if he's not... And nothing you say will make a difference.

    good luck and don't wait.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    Solution: Find a guy who wants to date.
  • EddieT

    Posts: 93

    Dec 10, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    that Mess Around or Not thing is what I was looking for, sorry to make a new thread, that one seems to suffice...thanks for the responses!
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 11, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    Just ask him out on a date, if he says no you have your answer. Or just tell him you're not into hook ups, admit you've done it in the past and felt less than satisfied and are taking a new approach, any guy worth having would respect that.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11829

    Dec 11, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    To be honest nahhhhh...He sees ya as a willin piece of ass...If you want to keep your self respect in tact...Let him to fuck off...If you can handle the situation of casual sex without strings go for it....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    Hey (insert name), I'm more interested in going on a date with you and getting to know more about you than your penis size. How does dinner sound on (insert date).

    Said in a funny way this generally works!
  • EddieT

    Posts: 93

    Dec 11, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    yeah i said something along the lines of that and got no response, oh well...I get too emotionally attached with guys anyway so glad I bypassed it now then later..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Find a guy who wants to date.


    I couldn't agree more. There are plenty of guys out there who JUST want to date (example: Me).
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Dec 11, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Find a guy who wants to date.


    +1

    It's harder to "get" someone to want to date, when you can look for someone who is looking to date.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    Him: Let's have hot sex.

    Me: Only after you marry me.

    Him: How about we go on a date.

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    Just tell him you don't mess around with people you are not dating. Chances are if he has already put up the notion of a hookup.....that is all he is really looking for.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Dec 11, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    Ask him on a date. If he's only interested in sex, he will say no.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 11, 2011 6:14 AM GMT
    Unfortunately, it depends on the circumstances that you two met under. If you two met under pretenses that you would be hooking up than you have to go with the flow. If you two met with the intentions of more than so be it. However, I say just tell him how you feel and see where things go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 7:09 AM GMT
    rockinb said
    Neutral saidHim: Let's have hot sex.

    Me: Only after you marry me.

    Him: How about we go on a date.

    icon_wink.gif


    The above technique is what you call the "door-in-the-face technique". The technique is as simple as it sounds. An individual makes an initial request that is so large it is sure to be rejected (i.e. "will you marry me") and then comes back with a second, more reasonable request (i.e. "want to go on a date with me").

    The second request will fare better than the first, although, I'm not guaranteeing anything.

    Now, these techniques are sure to win the muffins over:

    1st. You gotta put your foot-in-the-door. Break the ice with a small initial request that the guy cant easily refuse (i.e. offer a blowjob). Once that first commitment is elicited, the chances are increased that another, larger request will succeed.

    2nd. Lowballing is the next technique you will use. Get the dude excited, play into his fantasies, tricking him into WANTING you (i.e. fetish, kinks, or just SEX). Once you have him in his desirable state, low ball the dude, go back on your commitment and think of something else to do with your guys' time. This will either drive him crazy or pissed off. Either way, he'll feel the need to finish what you started.

    3rd This is where you use the "door-in-the-face technique" as aforementioned earlier.

    4th This ploy, called the "thats-not-all technique" is the notion your getting more bang for your buck. (i.e. after you've accomplished getting him on a date he'll begin to feel you out and be forced to perceive you differently.).

    You gotta remember most of these guys are playing into their power complex. They want want want...You gotta be smarter than that, and be ready to own the situation, then, exploit it and voila!-

    -Important notice-
    You are NOT to have sex! In order for these techniques to work, you must never resort to sex! This is the means you use in order to get you to your result.





    Cool! Manipulations and mind games, what a perfect way to start a relationship.

    You forgot extortion and threats of violence. Promise him bodily harm unless he agrees to go on a date with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 7:15 AM GMT
    You can try telling HIM this. Nothing wrong with saying you want a date and not just sex icon_smile.gif It's up to him to decide... if he wants to hook-up with... that's all he will do. But then maybe it wouldn't be such a big loss for you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    Hook up with him

    Dating is lame
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 1:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Find a guy who wants to date.


    THIS--because you can't people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    FrostedFlakes saidHook up with him

    Dating is lame


    News to me. icon_razz.gif
  • bmoney1

    Posts: 244

    Dec 11, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    You can't turn a hooker into a housewife. Don't try.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Game playing so gets on my tits.............you'd figure one of the benefits of wanting to date guys is that things would be simple and straightforward.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Sometimes I feel like guys want to get the sex out of the way by the 3rd date if not the 1st to see if there is sexual chemistry. Truth is taking the time gives both people to learn each other and helps you see if there is a possible future with him. But there are definitely decent guys out there looking to just date. Have to find them.. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Find a guy who wants to date.


    ^---THIS!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Find a guy who wants to date.


    BEST ANSWER EVER.

    Doesn't get realer then this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    Ask him out on a date if he says no then go get your ass fucked if you want it.