I was Emotional Slutty

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    Jun 10, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    He wanted to know more, so I told everything.

    His silence is deafening.
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    Jun 10, 2008 6:21 PM GMT
    Familiarity breeds contempt?
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    Jun 10, 2008 6:28 PM GMT
    Caslon4000 saidFamiliarity breeds contempt?


    Guess so. I'll know better next time.
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    Jun 10, 2008 7:39 PM GMT
    Been there, been that.
    I guess sharing in bits and pieces keeps the mystery intact.
    But wtf, they asked! icon_evil.gif
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    Jun 10, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    Never share too much.

    The past should remain in the past.
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    Jun 10, 2008 8:45 PM GMT
    Knowing is half the battle, but don't change who you are for a guy that judged you from your past - seriously.

    Come on, the guys a loser - look at yourself in the mirror, you're a good looking guy with great qualities and a big heart.

    His loss.
  • EricLA

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    Jun 10, 2008 10:24 PM GMT
    NEVER tell them everything. No matter how much they ask, they can't handle it.
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    Jun 10, 2008 10:47 PM GMT

    What all did you tell him? Or just give us the bare bones.
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    Jun 10, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    EricLA saidNEVER tell them everything. No matter how much they ask, they can't handle it.


    Tell them as much as they want to know, however clarify if they want to know or if they REALLY want to know and if they are unable to handle the truth of who/what you are/were then that's their issue NOT yours!
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    Jun 10, 2008 11:08 PM GMT
    I think emotional sluttiness is fine as long as you're aware that this is the internet and it's all pretty much a fantasy until you actually meet someone in real life. The internet can be a great outlet - sexually, socially, emotionally - but it's not a substitute for real-life interactions. I think the problem comes when you mistake it as something realer than what it is in actuality. I willingly go towards the fantasy sometimes but I don't have any illusions about it. This is not to say that meaningful relationships cannot originate with the internet - just that you don't know it will be as much until you meet someone and get to know him. Going back to the original topic, who cares if they reject you online? It's just circuitry and wires. Save feeling hurt for real heartbreak. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 11, 2008 12:06 AM GMT
    It's an e-heartbreak he's going through. E-hugs to you...
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    Jun 11, 2008 12:12 AM GMT
    Have learned this lesson many times. Never share too much. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 11, 2008 5:58 AM GMT
    zimster saidBeen there, been that.
    I guess sharing in bits and pieces keeps the mystery intact.
    But wtf, they asked! icon_evil.gif


    Exactly!
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    Jun 11, 2008 5:47 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    What all did you tell him? Or just give us the bare bones.


    That I have never had a relationship with a guy, I'm losing weight (he's a chaser but it's not written in stone), I once bookmarked his bigmuscle profile.
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    Jun 11, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    Be a trickling fountain not an exploding water main.

    People love a little mystery, but when you reveal everything at once - it's too sudden, too fast, too much... and they run. And maybe it's because they can't imagine being that comfortable with being so open (unlocking their own insecurities by your exposure of your Achilles or your "truth")

    You're going to "break the ice" into the glass and fill the glass half way full.

    Tell too much - and you're spilling that glass.

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    Jun 11, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
    Wow, me too! But only when it's somehow relavent, but never too too much... But yeah, watch what you allow yourself to tell people. I used to be an emotionally slutty whore when I first came out in my teens. But have learned since then to only say what I really feel is neccessary, and won't confuse people. Though I'm sure it doesn't help too much, lol. But yeah, bad bad slut, go get your pussy and pray for redemption from the ceiling cat - lol j/k.
  • pcsean28

    Posts: 161

    Jun 11, 2008 6:56 PM GMT
    Chasersprize said[quote][cite]GuiltyGear said[/cite]
    What all did you tell him? Or just give us the bare bones.


    That I have never had a relationship with a guy, I'm losing weight (he's a chaser but it's not written in stone), I once bookmarked his bigmuscle profile.[/quote]

    Well you didn't exactly bear your soul. The first thing is basic info (doesn't really scratch the surface), the second thing sounds more like a sexual incompatibility issue (he won't like you if you're not "chub" enough for him? I hope to god you don't take this as a reason to stop your progress!!), and the third thing, again, is not something that tells a lot about who you are, just that you have been attracted to him (if he's creeped out by that then he's the neurotic one).

    My point is that he turned you down (if that's the case) based on pretty superficial information about you... you should take it the same way you would if someone said no because they don't go for white guys, etc. There's no reason to take it too personally, he wasn't rejecting the very essence of you or anything. Don't change the course you're already on for any reason.

    Sean
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    Jun 11, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    Chasersprize said[quote][cite]GuiltyGear said[/cite]
    What all did you tell him? Or just give us the bare bones.

    That I have never had a relationship with a guy, I'm losing weight (he's a chaser but it's not written in stone), I once bookmarked his bigmuscle profile.


    If that's all you said, then there is something else going on with him. That certainly shouldnt have blown any guy away.
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    Jun 11, 2008 9:57 PM GMT
    For those of you who think the past is unimportant to new relationships I say you're hiding things and no matter how hard you try to whitewash your canvass, color will slowly bleed through and disfigure the masterpiece you sought to create.

    Oooh, I'm lovin' that paragraph. This man can write.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    I agree with Sneakerpimp re: people who don't ask questions. I find it scary too. It's strange, or at least self-absorbed, for someone to be so incurious.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:41 AM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidI agree with Sneakerpimp re: people who don't ask questions. I find it scary too. It's strange, or at least self-absorbed, for someone to be so incurious.


    agree with this too. i naturally ask questions because I want to know the person Im talking to and what made them the person they are today. if a person does not ask back, it send up a red flag because it makes me think they only think about themselves and that bothers me that I can show an interest and you seem like you could care less. THis is for both romance and friends. I think its ok to be a truthful because at the end of the day the truth will always appear. Honesty = no surprises down the road.
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    Jun 12, 2008 2:55 AM GMT
    OK, say the guy is looking for a relationship. A 35 year old who has never had a relationship would be a bit of a turn off. I mean, what sort of problems does a guy have that he hasn't had a relationship? You could be closeted, you could be an emotional train wreck, you could be any number of things that would turn off someone looking for a long term gig. And from the topic I am guessing you two haven't talked much.

    Say he is just looking for sex. He is a chaser and you are loosing weight. That is like a guy who likes to be spanked dating a guy with tennis elbow.

    Move on.
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    Jun 12, 2008 3:26 AM GMT
    One is an open book.

    One does not seek approval for my past, nor acceptance for ones further decisions. If they can't cope with the heat in the kitchen, then they SHOULD leave.

    One is a survivor of torture at the hands of Ones catholic terrorist vessel. Not Ones fault. One was an innocent child. Yet this is Ones past. One will not lie about it.

    In Ones early 20s. One worked in a bathhouse. While doing this AIDES hit the news, and the whole gay world tuned upside down. I left went back to the bush to live, and worked as a lumber jack.

    One Has no need to talk about this time. But it is a big part of Ones life education. It also played a very big roll in why One gave back their gay card, and become a fag, and now has nothing to do with the gay community.

    After doing nursing. One has no desire to die of old age.

    Yet being an open book. One still has been able to have two long term relationships.
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    Jun 12, 2008 10:42 PM GMT
    I'm kinda of two minds on this one.

    A recent experience of really sharing a lot of what I think and feel in the first week pushed the guy away.

    1. Since that's who I am (more or less), or at least was, the sooner the guy split the better.

    2. (Not necessarily in the above episode, but generally) There does seem to be sense in pacing self-revelation. The impact of various "self-truths" can be different if someone has gotten to know you somewhat, as opposed to, is in the process of getting to know you. In other words, a balanced approach between verbal "this-is-me" statements and time spent together.

    I think I lean toward no. 2.

    Charlie

    PS--Is it egotistical to think that some of us are a bigger pill to swallow, and need to go more slowly?
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    Jun 12, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    SneakerpimpOften I've been lied to and sometimes information i've revealed in confidence comes back to haunt me like when my sister asked me what exactly happened the cold winter night in 1984 when her guinea pig died under mysterious circumstances.


    I'm not trying to be insensitive but this is one of the funnier things I've read on the site in a long time.