First date habits (the kind where you don't have sex)

  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Dec 12, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    Just wondering what sort of affection you show on first dates where both guys like each other's company. Do you hold hands? Smooch?
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    Dec 12, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    Rarely... I usually show it by the way I speak, look, behave... I think I show it well. And sometimes, when we really like each other, I kiss them or touch them... but only when I am sure they want it... I wouldn't wanna date rape them : )
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    Dec 12, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    sbwlguy saidJust wondering what sort of affection you show on first dates where both guys like each other's company. Do you hold hands? Smooch?


    Personally...I really think it really depends on the chemistry. I generally don't start off doing anything, just keep it platonic at first. I am personally not a holding hand type of person.

    If the date was good, I'd give him a peck on the lips towards the end. If the chemistry was really good...well..ya icon_razz.gif

    Also i think it depends on where the first date is

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    Dec 12, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    Intently listen to what he has to say.

    You get to know him and it shows you have an interest in others.

    Discreetly putting your hand on his leg under the table doesn't hurt either.
  • E_84

    Posts: 201

    Dec 12, 2011 7:01 PM GMT
    Haven't gone on many first dates. Have been in a monogamous long-term relationships.

    And for the most part, keep it casual and cool. Listen, eye contact, and keep the humour going. No affection except for a safe hug goodnight.
  • sbwlguy

    Posts: 566

    Dec 12, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    Interesting to hear others' opinion on this. I have been on first dates where we smooched, others where there's some body contact and others where it's kept just plain friendly.

    I agree with what the one poster said though, it's largely to do with chemistry.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Dec 12, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    The most important thing on a first date is to just be yourself, because then if there is a 2nd date then you know they actually like the real you icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 12, 2011 7:24 PM GMT

    Nothing intimate on the first date - usually I just try to keep my cool and just chat/hang out since we wouldn't really know each other at this point. You could still find out he is a serial killer and it would probably astonish you.

    Habits for me would be getting coffee, maybe talking about too much because when I've gone on second dates I find the other guy saying "Oh yeah you've mentioned that" once or twice. That bites. Dunno what it is about coffee and first dates.
    With other guys they seem to be drawn to movies for first dates. This is an issue for me because if I want to start to get to know you...a movie theater isn't exactly the best place for that. Just my thought. Going to a more expensive restaurant is also a habit I find with other guys - cause the first problem would be we might not click, then there's the amount of money we're losing that probably would turn us more against each other.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 12, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    It depends on the date, if it is somebody I already knew before we started dating I might go a bit further. My ex and I made out on our first date, but I knew him from a previous job before we got together so we'd known eachother a while before the first date.

    If it is meeting somebody for the first time from online or a blind date situation then I make a point of not going very far. I think the best strategy is to make sure the date is NOT open ended. Meet for lunch or coffee and make a point of saying you have to be somewhere else later at a specific time. Or if it is dinner/drinks make sure you explain a need to be somewhere early the next day. You don't have to worry about going too far on the first date if it has a definite start and stopping point. I also think it makes conversation easier because you know you only have a limited time so you tend not to ramble as much LOL
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    Dec 12, 2011 7:58 PM GMT
    The most important part of a first date is finding a parking garage that doesn't have a security person driving through.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Dec 12, 2011 8:05 PM GMT
    I generally end with a kiss if I like them and feel some chemistry.
    Holding hands, for me, feels a bit too intimate for a first date, but I suppose it just depends on the two of you.

    (I'll add that kissing at the end of a date provides an extra bonus of making it clear that I like the other person; I've found some people unable to tell if I'm attracted to them or just friendly, that usually makes it clear ;)
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    Dec 12, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    Mmm, if I'm on a date where there's going to be a second date, I've always ended up sleeping with the guy.

    That said, I very rarely find a guy with whom I want to go on a second date. It's happened about 5 times and two of those became boyfriends. I can usually tell fairly early on in the date if it's going anywhere and if it is, it means I really, really like the guy... which means I don't mind being as affectionate as he is comfortable being.
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    Dec 12, 2011 10:14 PM GMT
    hmmm, eye contact, laugh at his lame jokes, tell him lame jokes, smile a lot, and "accidently" make body contact. maybe a kiss, not always.
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    Dec 12, 2011 10:30 PM GMT
    movie..dinner...conversation..coffee..enjoyment of the companionship.if he wants to makeout,fine...if not that's okay too...oh,and i try to pay for the date,especially if i ask him out first...if he tries to pay his own half,..i don't argue with him....but i prefer to pay...
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    Depends on the person. If he was a virgin or something then sure, but if he has had a lot of sex I would not have sex on the first date. There has to be some psychological separation between you and all those hookups.
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:15 PM GMT
    This thread is an oxymoron.

    How do you have a date without sex?
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:16 PM GMT
    The most important thing on a first date is to be sure there is a solid alibi and there are no witnesses.

    And floss.
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:20 PM GMT
    Cash saidThe most important thing on a first date is to be sure there is a solid alibi and there are no witnesses.

    And floss.

    +1
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    Chainers saidThis thread is an oxymoron.

    How do you have a date without sex?


    Yet you can almost always have sex without a date...

    There in lies the great wonder of the Universe....
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:38 PM GMT
    I blush. I'm sometimes shy like that. If I really like someone, I'm afraid at first to touch, but as the date progresses and I really begin to like the person, subtle touches, like holding hands, hand on lap etc. End of date kiss on cheek. I'm a good boy hehe
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:39 PM GMT
    Holding hands seems more intimate to me than kissing.
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:47 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidEvery time I get a new cellmate I like to start off with a nice slow blowjob to show him that I won't bite when he's fucking my face. Then he knows there's no need to knock out all my front teeth. Non-verbal communication is so important at the start of a new relationship.

    Who says romance it dead! icon_biggrin.gif


    When does he tattoo his name on your ass? Or is that more of a third date, this-could-be-going-someplace kinda thing?
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    Larkin_PLR saidMmm, if I'm on a date where there's going to be a second date, I've always ended up sleeping with the guy.

    That said, I very rarely find a guy with whom I want to go on a second date. It's happened about 5 times and two of those became boyfriends. I can usually tell fairly early on in the date if it's going anywhere and if it is, it means I really, really like the guy... which means I don't mind being as affectionate as he is comfortable being.


    Very true, well for me and minus the sex lol. icon_smile.gif

    Chainers saidThis thread is an oxymoron.

    How do you have a date without sex?

    Easily. lol
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    Usually I'm very, very flirty. Like I hold their hand, closely. I hug em a lot. We are usually just hugging, and if we are kissing then you know it's headed for more than 2 dates. Usually a relationship.

    Even though I have only had one date or partner where we started kissing on the first date.
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    Dec 12, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    I invite my date to my house. When he gets there I hand him an apron and we go to the kitchen and make dinner together. This shows me so manyt things about him, craeativity, ability to work with others, talking and working at the same time, able to anticipate my moves so that we move in unison, the ability to know when something is too hot to handle and when heat needs to be applied, what foods go with what and best of all, presentation when it is done.

    If he get through the fun of making dinner and we both like our creation, that says a lot. At that point it might be a date with sex or not. But if not, he is welcome to come back for desert!