POLL: Which relationship type works best for gay men or gay male couples??

  • chet101

    Posts: 76

    Dec 13, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    This is a bit of a poll to see what your opinion is on which type of relationship works best for gay men or gay male couples?

    1. SINGLE - Play the field and hookup as often as you wish. (GTL - Gym, Tan, Laundry)

    2. OPEN (COMPLETELY) - No permission needed from your parrtner, just fuck who you want when you want.

    3. OPEN (With-Permission) - Just so long as the other partner knows, you can fuck who you want when you want.

    4. OPEN (Play - together) - You can invite a third into your bedroom and you only play together, never apart.

    5. CLOSED (Monogomous) - You can never have sex with another person ever besides your partner.

    (And, if you care, please feel free to comment on why you picked the one you chose. Personally, I find it interested that gay men have so many "choices" while "straight couples" seem to mainly have only two: marriage and more commonly, shacking up or divorce and or more commonly, moving out) .
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    There is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.
  • chet101

    Posts: 76

    Dec 13, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:19 PM GMT
    chet101 said
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo


    This married 39 yo agrees with the single 27 yo.
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    Straight people have all the same choices.

    As far as I'm concerned, as long as everyone involved is honest about what they're doing before they do it, it's fine. For me, I prefer monogamy. If some couple wants to work something else out, that's none of my business though I wouldn't ever choose to be a third, fourth, etc.
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    5) Closed .


    I Dont Like Sharing :p
    I believe in two people being together and no one else on the side.
  • chet101

    Posts: 76

    Dec 13, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    endo said
    chet101 said
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo


    This married 39 yo agrees with the single 27 yo.


    "married" but wont pick one of the choices ??
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    chet101 said
    endo said
    chet101 said
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo


    This married 39 yo agrees with the single 27 yo.


    "married" but wont pick one of the choices ??


    Nope. What works best for me may not be best for others. I don't believe in absolutes.
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:26 PM GMT
    chet101 said
    endo said
    chet101 said
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo


    This married 39 yo agrees with the single 27 yo.


    "married" but wont pick one of the choices ??


    I think him being married is an answer itself. LOL.

    I'd go with 5 since that's how imagine myself if I ever have a relationship. If I wanted to fool around with others I'd just cut out the middle man and stay single.

    Also try playing along and answering your own question. That helps too.
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    Dec 13, 2011 6:27 PM GMT
    One or Five for me. I mean, its either singlesville or staying in a monogamous relationship. If we arent monogamous whats the point?
  • chet101

    Posts: 76

    Dec 13, 2011 6:36 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    chet101 said
    endo said
    chet101 said
    RedheadedRy saidThere is no one right choice for "gay men." There is a right choice for an individual couple, though.


    ...says the single 27 yo


    This married 39 yo agrees with the single 27 yo.


    "married" but wont pick one of the choices ??


    I think him being married is an answer itself. LOL.

    I'd go with 5 since that how imagine myself if I ever have a relationship. If I wanted to fool around with others I'd just cut out the middle man and stay single.

    Also try playing along and answering your own question. That helps too.


    Okay, I pick 3, ....after all, thats the type of relationship im in. I was str8 at one time and was in number 5 with a woman for 10 years. To me the "gay world" is so different from the str8 world and I believe my point in all this is to try and at least speak out about the differences between them and why there are differences. Im not saying there is one absolute choice for all, Im saying which one seems to be working for most ? There are a lot of single guys out there wondering why the hell there relationship only lasts three months or less.... i would think its healthy to know where most guys are at right now....but if guys cant even answer this simple poll, it just goes to show how "complicated" gay guys have become .... jus sayn
  • Lawrencium

    Posts: 63

    Dec 13, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    I think that all relationships should ultimately end in 5; the course you take to get there will likely go through some if not all of the previous choices. I also think that the whole "gay relationships are inherently different from straight ones" is kind of a weak excuse. All relationships are inherently different from every other relationship. Straight guys want to fuck around too (obviously), its part of being a guy....but commitment is also something that ultimately everybody wants. If you don't want to be the only guy in your man's life (and vice versa) then why even be in a relationship with him...just call it what it is, FWB.

    #4 I think can be on par with 5, but personally, the thought of someone else being inside of the person I'm in love with makes me want to hurl. I was in that sort of relationship for a while (with a "straight guy") and although the cup overfloweth with other problems, ultimately that was the one that made me realize that even if he thought I was his soulmate, he sure as shit wasn't mine.
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    Let me rephrase the question for you:

    Which relationship type works the best for gay men or gay male couples for you?


    Now it's a legitimate question. If you don't understand why, that's your own problem.

  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Dec 13, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    There is no reason to add the "gay men" qualifier.

    And there is no one right answer for everyone.

    The right answer is the one that makes the particular relationship in question relationship happiest and msot successful.

    And you did not even come close to listing all of the possibilities.
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    You apparently aren't hearing what you wanted to hear. Disingenuous post is disingenuous.
  • chet101

    Posts: 76

    Dec 13, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    Delivis saidThere is no reason to add the "gay men" qualifier.

    And there is no one right answer for everyone.

    The right answer is the one that makes the particular relationship in question relationship happiest and msot successful.

    And you did not even come close to listing all of the possibilities.


    ....and you failed to answer the question.... and please, what are the other "possibilities" ??
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:50 PM GMT
    chet101 said
    Delivis saidThere is no reason to add the "gay men" qualifier.

    And there is no one right answer for everyone.

    The right answer is the one that makes the particular relationship in question relationship happiest and msot successful.

    And you did not even come close to listing all of the possibilities.


    ....and you failed to answer the question.... and please, what are the other "possibilities" ??


    Among other things, various variations of polyamorous relationships in which actual relationships (i.e., not just hooking up) with others is permitted. Relationships in which one partner is monogamous and the other is poly. There are innumerable variations.

    This 50 year old in a long term relationship also agrees that the only answer that is the "right" answer is one that works for the two people involved.
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    Number 5, because that's the whole point of being in a relationship. Being with the one person you could bear being with for some time. And because I don't see why you would be in any type of relationship with anyone if you are not satisfied with that person.

    And I know this is aching for a flamewar but I don't give two shits.

    I think that open relationships undermine the whole point and value of a relationship. It is just someone having one steady fuck buddy and occasional hooks ups.

    I think many gay guys have this. A booty call on the side so should the one they try to hook up fail them, they still got a hole at home to come to.
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    If it helps with the statistics, I'm a big old five. Monogamous, I never share my delight with others - go find your own. I'm still a firm believer in true love...
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    Dec 13, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    likewatuc saidNumber 5, because that's the whole point of being in a relationship. Being with the one person you could bear being with for some time. And because I don't see why you would be in any type of relationship with anyone if you are not satisfied with that person.

    And I know this is aching for a flamewar but I don't give two shits.

    I think that open relationships undermine the whole point and value of a relationship. It is just someone having one steady fuck buddy and occasional hooks ups.

    I think many gay guys have this. A booty call on the side so should the one they try to hook up fail them, they still got a hole at home to come to.



    That's OK, you keep on trying to meet that special person who is "the only one you could bear being with for some time." Cuz... that certainly sounds like a special kind of relationship.

  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Dec 13, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    chet101 said
    Delivis saidThere is no reason to add the "gay men" qualifier.

    And there is no one right answer for everyone.

    The right answer is the one that makes the particular relationship in question relationship happiest and msot successful.

    And you did not even come close to listing all of the possibilities.


    ....and you failed to answer the question.... and please, what are the other "possibilities" ??


    I did answer the question. You failed to understand it.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Dec 13, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    Layton_wang saidIf it helps with the statistics, I'm a big old five. Monogamous, I never share my delight with others - go find your own. I'm still a firm believer in true love...


    That's extremely insulting. You just told everyone who is not in a purely monogamous relationship that their love is not true.
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    Dec 13, 2011 8:36 PM GMT
    Single or open completely.
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    Dec 13, 2011 8:36 PM GMT
    In a way, it does depend on the couple and what they can accept. Although I've seen many relationships fail the moment they decide to "open" things up a bit, some relationships can handle it.
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    Dec 13, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    As long as the decision is voluntary and no one is being coerced into doing something with which he's not comfortable, everything should be negotiable. I would also add that, often times, the choice is situational, i.e., it depends on the set of circumstances extant at the time the choice is made.