Body Image?

  • asana

    Posts: 53

    Dec 14, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    Anyone else have body image problems? I've struggled with feeling fat since I was a kid, and had been using laxatives daily and counting calories to control my weight for a long time. I stopped taking them regularly in August, and have given myself more freedom to eat what I want, when I want, as well as seriously upping my weight training. I've gained almost 20lb now, a lot of which is muscle mass, but I'm struggling with being comfortable with my larger size. I feel fat a lot now, and when I eat too much, I feel so much remorse and make myself throw up, which is something I haven't done regularly since high school. I hate looking at pictures of myself now, because all I see is a belly.

    Does anyone else on here ever feel like this? Any suggestions for coping strategies?
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    Dec 14, 2011 4:32 PM GMT
    I kinda suffer from the opposite..
    no matter how much I eat or how much I work out I feel twiggy and skinny.
    It isn't pleasant, but I've learned to ignore those thoughts and live happily.
    It's hard and it sucks but you have to learn to be happy in your own skin.
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    Dec 14, 2011 4:36 PM GMT
    no not anymore, i evolve beyond that.
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    Dec 14, 2011 4:58 PM GMT
    jomach saidI kinda suffer from the opposite..
    no matter how much I eat or how much I work out I feel twiggy and skinny.
    It isn't pleasant, but I've learned to ignore those thoughts and live happily.
    It's hard and it sucks but you have to learn to be happy in your own skin.


    Your "twiggy and skinny" physique looks damn good to me man. Don't worry about it.
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    Dec 14, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    Kippler saidAnyone else have body image problems? I've struggled with feeling fat since I was a kid, and had been using laxatives daily and counting calories to control my weight for a long time. I stopped taking them regularly in August, and have given myself more freedom to eat what I want, when I want, as well as seriously upping my weight training. I've gained almost 20lb now, a lot of which is muscle mass, but I'm struggling with being comfortable with my larger size. I feel fat a lot now, and when I eat too much, I feel so much remorse and make myself throw up, which is something I haven't done regularly since high school. I hate looking at pictures of myself now, because all I see is a belly.

    Does anyone else on here ever feel like this? Any suggestions for coping strategies?


    If you continue along this path you'll end up with anorexia or something else. It sounds like you're not sure what type of physique you want but this may go deeper and be an issue about being comfortable in the skin you're in. Consider consulting a professional but don't worry too much. Take the advice the professional gives.
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    Dec 14, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    Yup like most said you are very good looking right now and seem to be on the right track. It takes TIME. You can take off weight over a period of months just like you can put it on just as easily.
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    Dec 14, 2011 5:18 PM GMT
    ReadyBuddy said

    If you continue along this path you'll end up with anorexia or something else. It sounds like you're not sure what type of physique you want but this may go deeper and be an issue about being comfortable in the skin you're in. Consider consulting a professional but don't worry too much. Take the advice the professional gives.


    Good advice, you definitely need to seek some professional help--and I say this out of concern and not judgmentally. I read a lot about body image issues because I've long struggled with it myself. You might want to look up some titles like "The Adonis Complex" by Harrison G. Pope, "The Invisible Man" by John F Morgan, and the works of Thomas F Cash ("Body Image" and "The Body Image Workbook").

    It's easy to say that you're a good-looking guy who already has a very attractive body (which is true) but in the end this is about how you see yourself, and there's nothing wrong with seeking help from someone who can help you re-examine these feelings.
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    Dec 14, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk & poet
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    Dec 14, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    My family called me fat between the ages of 6-14. I ate a lot, but I was an athletic kid. It got to me and when I was 14 I starved myself down to 109 lbs (I was 5'10). It took a lot to get back on track. I have visible abs but it's still in the back of my mind. I just try to temper myself to have confidence in myself, flaws included and not put so much stock into others judging me.


    For the record, you don't look fat at all, keep your head up.
  • Obese

    Posts: 26

    Dec 14, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    Pretty sure majority of the population does. . . Just try and be as confident as you can, there's always room for improvement. If you don't you will never be happy with yourself.
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    Dec 14, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    Body image has always been a serious issue for me. The mentality will likely exist forever in my head having formerly been overweight. I know I look different and inherently far better now compared to before, but I'm deathly afraid of judgment. Being a performer on stage does little to quell that anxiety, the feeling of being watched and scrutinized in appearance and sound. It's the "I'll literally starve myself if I knew it will make me lovable or likable" mentality. There's absolutely no question: obesity is heavily stigmatized in the gay world. Men are highly visually stimulated, so it can become a self-defeating quest to attain that level of attractiveness, that "perfect standard" that would leave potential dates wanting to get in on it, being irresistible. We want to feel loved (I certainly do) enough that we may be willing to do potentially dangerous and reckless stuff to ourselves to make it happen.
  • MagillaNectar

    Posts: 72

    Dec 14, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    I used to have body image problems because I've always had a belly, bad scoliosis, and hair everywhere (my ass is like a forest). Then, I learned to love my belly because it's like this little cushion thing. Also, with my curved back I can lay on a couch in the most comfortable ways. As for my furry ass, I feel like a teddy bear. You have to love who you are because there is only one you in this world. It's cheesy as fuck but absolutely true. Don't change yourself because you hate yourself. You won't be able to make rational decisions that way and you'll always be unhappy. Love yourself first then if you still want to change do it because you want to and not because you feel like you 'should' because you're not 'attractive' enough or others judge you for the way you look. Just some friendly advice from someone who has been through it.
  • justinlee86

    Posts: 501

    Dec 14, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    I think it is fairly common...I struggle with never feeling adequate and always find something wrong.

    Just make sure you are being healthy while obsessing over whats wrong.
  • rioriz

    Posts: 1056

    Dec 14, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    justinlee86 saidI think it is fairly common...I struggle with never feeling adequate and always find something wrong.

    Just make sure you are being healthy while obsessing over whats wrong.


    What he said! I struggle with the same thing...I have a ot of muscle mass but in times I can't work out regulary I get self conscious and swear up and down I look fat...in the end I do eat well and have a good opinion of myself so I don't let the insecurities take hold for too long.
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    Dec 15, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    I have body image problems. I feel like I'm much sexier than I actually am.
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    Dec 15, 2011 1:48 AM GMT
    i have to admit that i fight with feeling fat..i look in the mirror and always,i try to see the good progress i'm making...but,in the back of my head..is this little idea that i'm not quite as muscular as i should be...and that i'm fat.i have to remind myself that the mirror is not my friend...and,that along with gaining muscle..you will gain a little fat..if you are eating right..that's why bodybuilders eliminate fat causing food later in the regimen...but this only after they reach peak mass...which can take 1 to 3 years,depending on the person.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Dec 15, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    I'm too skinny.
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    Dec 15, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    man be proud of who you are and how you r

    don't let any silly thought driving you to hate your self and do some thing bad

    accept your life and live it day by day

    never give your ears to the criticized because its will be baneful

    and the weight is not shame thing

    be what u want to be and ignore them all
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Dec 28, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    I flip flop all the time. Somedays I feel like I'm too skinny and I have to bulk up and other times I feel too fat. It's crazy! I've lost over 30 pounds since August and hoping to lose atleast 10 more. Then I'm going start putting on more muscle.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Dec 28, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    I think you have a sexy body
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    Dec 28, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    Kippler saidAny suggestions for coping strategies?
    Learn Photoshop. icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 28, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    My problem is that the mirror lies to me. It shows me how I looked years ago. For the cruel reality I have to see a photo of myself. Funny how the mind plays tricks on you. So be wary of how you get feedback on your body, that forms your body image. You may be basing it on misleading information.
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    Dec 28, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    Body dysmorphic disorder here, so yes - very much so.
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    Dec 28, 2011 6:52 AM GMT
    It took me 30 years to be comfortable shirtless. I went from being a really chubby little boy to being emaciated from a really bad illness in my teen years. I was real self-conscious about the rolls on my stomach and my flabby tits - it looked worse when I got real skinny! I've been healthy for about 15 years and slowly started working out and building myself back up. I never got six pack abs but I have no rolls and my chest finally looks like a mans.

    I used to beat myself up over not looking model "perfect" but I begin to realize that the men I was drawn to the most were the ones who weren't perfect themselves - I like thick men with character in their faces. A good sense of humor and intelligence always beats out looks.

    I finally accepted myself around age 30, and it's like a huge weight has been lifted. Not to sound vain, but I really like how I look - even my little gut. There are some in real-life (and on this site) that will still hurl little passive-agressive insults my way - that I'm short, or "fat" or whatever... but fuck 'em. It's their loss. I hope it doesn't take as long for you as it did for me.
  • Trepeat

    Posts: 546

    Dec 28, 2011 9:01 AM GMT
    My body's by no means perfect, but I'm damned fond of it. Accepting and loving who you are and what you look in in spite of any perceived flaws = self-esteem > self-confidence = attractiveness. The more attractive you find yourself, the more people will find you attractive (this is kind of a generalization, there are narcissistic douches out there).