Is he secretly a bottom?

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    Dec 17, 2011 1:08 PM GMT
    I prefer being passive sexually. This dude I am really into knows this. He likes me, but I am really getting the idea that he is also a bottom. Sex isn't great because he lacks the aggression I need to be satisfied. What if we continue on and we both end up being dissatisfied in bed? I want this to work, but I don't want to get into it and a few years later want out. I have broached the subject, but he contends he is "really" a top... but we have been versatile more than I care to admit. (Is this a douche posting?)
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    Dec 17, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    An "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 17, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidAn "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.




    which is why a truly "Versatile" guy is a LOT more fun in bed icon_exclaim.gif



    icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 17, 2011 4:47 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidAn "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.


    So, I am thinking... he probably is a bottom and is trying to make me happy - but in the end (no pun intended) he will be sexually dissatisfied - as will I, and the relationship will fray. Sex isn't everything - but it very very important and clicking in the bedroom is important for a long term thing. I feel like waiting it out a little longer to see if it feels more natural.
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    Dec 17, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    rnch said
    DOMINUS saidAn "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.




    which is why a truly "Versatile" guy is a LOT more fun in bed icon_exclaim.gif



    icon_wink.gif
    You bet your ass it is! Oops, no pun intended! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Dec 17, 2011 4:50 PM GMT
    MaxStirner said
    DOMINUS saidAn "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.


    So, I am thinking... he probably is a bottom and is trying to make me happy - but in the end (no pun intended) he will be sexually dissatisfied - as will I, and the relationship will fray. Sex isn't everything - but it very very important and clicking in the bedroom is important for a long term thing. I feel like waiting it out a little longer to see if it feels more natural.
    You guys can always try a double ended dildo.. and then go for it like hogans gote!
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    Dec 17, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    top/bottom ≠ active/passive
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    Dec 17, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    MaxStirner said
    DOMINUS saidAn "exclusive" top wouldn't bottom even if his relationship depended on it. He wouldn't even entertain a finger up there. A tongue maybe, a finger no.


    So, I am thinking... he probably is a bottom and is trying to make me happy - but in the end (no pun intended) he will be sexually dissatisfied - as will I, and the relationship will fray. Sex isn't everything - but it very very important and clicking in the bedroom is important for a long term thing. I feel like waiting it out a little longer to see if it feels more natural.


    Trust your gut. If you're not getting what you want sexually, it's only a matter of time before your dissatisfaction reaches a breaking point.
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    Dec 17, 2011 10:02 PM GMT
    theantijock saidtop/bottom ≠ active/passive


    Yup.