A REAL date after two years...what do I do?

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  Dec 17, 2011 5:55 PM GMT

  So a mutual friend from school who actually knows about my sexuality is setting me up with this one really nice and handsome guy (he's half asian just like me hehehe). I haven't met him yet in person, but I have seen his pictures and he is certainly very attractive. He has a stable job and from what I heard he is financially very well off. From my understanding he's also seen my pictures and liked what he saw Now my dating skills are kind of rusty since the last time I had a real date (not counting hookups) was about two years ago. I'm not exactly sure what I should do.
  
  I don't like clubs and I despise drinking.
  I eat really healthy and despise fatty food.
  I don't enjoy brain-washing media and popular culture.
  I like nature and hiking or surfing and activities like that.
  
  ....what do I do? This is like, hard!! I'm supposed to spend an afternoon and early evening with him tomorrow. I can really use some input. Thx!
  
  

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  Dec 17, 2011 6:16 PM GMT

  Too easy!
  
  Choose two things you love doing and then let him pick.
  
  - Favorite surf spots (firewood and picnic optional)?
  - Theme park?
  - Something else?
  
  Keep it real. Allow him to see who you are - carefree and like a kid.

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  Dec 17, 2011 6:22 PM GMT

  Sigh, what's this guy's address. This is exactly why I have a sniper on retainer.
  
  
  
  
  
  Haha
  
  
  The best advice I can give is to be your authentic self. That's rule number one. Anything you get based on a fabrication of who you are is doomed to fail anyway. Who you are is more than enough for this guy, if not fuck him with a tiger penis.
  
  There are however, tricks that you can employ to speed up the endearment process.
  
  Here's a trick that almost always works.
  
  About 10-15 minutes into the conversation, ask him the following question.
  
  "If you could quit your job and do/be anything in the world, what would it be?"
  
  That will get him gushing about some sort of career or hobby that he is really passionate about and at that point he will begin to associate you with feelings for freedom and low pressure. It will loosen him up.
  
  A strange psychological element comes into play here. When you get someone to talk about something they love, you begin to rack up points, just for being in the room with them while they talk about it.
  
  DO NOT EVER on a first date start talking about things that you hate. It is a recipe for epic fail.
  
  Stick to stuff you love. Talk about surfing, talk about nature, talk about music you like, and talk about your passion for a healthy lifestyle if it comes up.
  
  Don't over complicate it. Just do the following 3 things and you'll be fine
  
  Be positive
  Listen
  Be yourself.
  
  Do these three things, and you will be surprised how naturally everything seems to flow.

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  Dec 17, 2011 6:33 PM GMT

  Enjoy it and be open minded.
  
  If you go out on a first date with someone you've never met before with all these "do's & don'ts" and things you don't like then the date is gonna go by quickly and you probably won't get another one for awhile
  
  What exactly are you gonna do if the guy you are meeting likes all the things you don't? By all means be you (always keep it real) but don't sound and act so picky.
  
  Deki has the right idea. Best post so far.

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  Dec 17, 2011 6:39 PM GMT

  Deki. I think he actually likes his job so that might not work. But the rest sounds good.
  
  If I need him taken care off I'll let you know his addy

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  Dec 17, 2011 6:45 PM GMT

  Guy101 saidEnjoy it and be open minded.
  
  If you go out on a first date with someone you've never met before with all these "do's & don'ts" and things you don't like then the date is gonna by quickly and you probably won't get another one.
  
  What exactly are you gonna do if the guy you are meeting like all the things you don't? By all means be you (always keep it real) but don't sound and act so picky.

  
  
  I know that I'm not supposed to talk about ex bfs and stuff. I think I am pretty easygoing and all. I know he's not supposed to dress like an scaryass clown. But other than that, not sure. What topics should I talk about?
  
  I think someone on the forum once said that girls bond over talking about their feelings and guys bond over doing stuff together. What about gay men? Are we girls or are we boys?
  
  
  

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:07 PM GMT

  JustThisOnce saidThis is a lie waimea stop this shit

  
  
  You think I would go through all this trouble to type out all of that shit? What for?
  
  You're a tool.

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:15 PM GMT

  waimea said<
  I know that I'm not supposed to talk about ex bfs and stuff. I think I am pretty easygoing and all. I know he's not supposed to dress like an scaryass clown. But other than that, not sure. What topics should I talk about?
  
  I think someone on the forum once said that girls bond over talking about their feelings and guys bond over doing stuff together. What about gay men? Are we girls or are we boys?
  
  
  

  
  
  Depends on the guy. I think the biggest thing is having the goal of seeing if you two could be compatible, friend wise. Start there and you can't go wrong. Figure out if you have enough in common to hang out and get to know each other around the events. And don't be so serious. Try to relax and crack jokes. The worst dates are with guys who are so focussed on their own shyness that you never get to see who they really are.

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:17 PM GMT

  Elly! U should date me!
  
  Apart from that, erm. Just be normal.
  
  No intense weird neediness
  No creepy awkward come-ons
  No groping his ass (unless he looks like he needs it)
  

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:22 PM GMT

  JustThisOnce said

  waimea said

  JustThisOnce saidThis is a lie waimea stop this shit

  
  
  You think I would go through all this trouble to type out all of that shit? What for?
  
  You're a tool.

  
  
  Yes that is something you would totally do. Your fabrications and vicarious life through this site is getting pathetic.
  
  But whatever, fool me once shame on you - fool me twice shame on me. Its unfortunate everyone else here is too nice and keeps falling in your trap.

  
  
  I know who you are. You're the sock of unfounded. The only person who actually hates me on this website because I refused to cam with you. Now you feel the need to create a pseudonym account to attack me. But whatever, I am past all that crap. Carry on horny old man.
  
  But I will say this. If you attack me one more time I'm gonna post those pics you had in the pvts.
  
  Yeah I did go there.

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:26 PM GMT

  Lostboy saidElly! U should date me!
  
  Apart from that, erm. Just be normal.
  
  No intense weird neediness
  No creepy awkward come-ons
  No groping his ass (unless he looks like he needs it)
  

  
  
  Aww J this is why you're very dear to me. You're always my first nicest guy RJer I go to!
  
  
  

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  Dec 17, 2011 7:32 PM GMT

  First thing - RELAX.
  
  Next, suggest an activity that you like - maybe you can do some hiking at a favorite spot in the afternoon and then catch a light and healthy dinner somewhere and see where things go from there.
  
  Oh, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but there is something about minature golf that seems disarming and let's guys just goof off and have some fun.
  
  Give us a full report after the date.

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• dabcrt
  
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  Dec 17, 2011 8:56 PM GMT

  ummmmmmmmmmm.......just put out

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  Dec 17, 2011 9:28 PM GMT

  sashaman saidFirst thing - RELAX.
  
  Next, suggest an activity that you like - maybe you can do some hiking at a favorite spot in the afternoon and then catch a light and healthy dinner somewhere and see where things go from there.
  
  Oh, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but there is something about minature golf that seems disarming and let's guys just goof off and have some fun.
  
  Give us a full report after the date.

  
  
  That sounds like a good idea! Thanks man. Will totally give you guys an update

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  Dec 17, 2011 10:27 PM GMT

  waimea saidDeki. I think he actually likes his job so that might not work. But the rest sounds good.
  
  If I need him taken care off I'll let you know his addy

  
  
  What does he do?

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  Dec 17, 2011 11:00 PM GMT

  Haha I find half asian guys so cute!
  
  Paintballing?

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  Dec 18, 2011 12:10 AM GMT

  Lostboy saidElly! U should date me!
  
  Apart from that, erm. Just be normal.
  
  
  

  
  
  OMG that's MORE money I have to pay for the sniper?

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  Dec 18, 2011 12:11 AM GMT

  JustThisOnce said

  waimea said

  sashaman saidFirst thing - RELAX.
  
  Next, suggest an activity that you like - maybe you can do some hiking at a favorite spot in the afternoon and then catch a light and healthy dinner somewhere and see where things go from there.
  
  Oh, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but there is something about minature golf that seems disarming and let's guys just goof off and have some fun.
  
  Give us a full report after the date.

  
  
  That sounds like a good idea! Thanks man. Will totally give you guys an update

  
  
  
  You mean make up a fake story about him not being good enough for you?

  
  
  Why are you trolling waimea so hard dude? Did you really make an account just to troll him?

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  Dec 18, 2011 12:21 AM GMT

  ...all these hidden profiles...all trolling...sounds like a story line out of three billy goats gruff trying to cross the bridge - and the troll a'waiting outta sight...
  
  
  and in case you don't know the story
  
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Billy_Goats_Gruff
  
  
  ...and in other words - all of you involved in the trollin' - shut the fuck up - we are bored...bored...bored....be real men and fight it out in the saloon - swinging doors optional

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  Dec 18, 2011 12:50 AM GMT

  Relax and just be yourself. Anytime you try anything else, it becomes obvious. And if you come across a bit nervous, don't worry. That can also be endearing.

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  Dec 18, 2011 1:12 AM GMT

  JustThisOnce said

  dekiruman said

  JustThisOnce said

  waimea said

  sashaman saidFirst thing - RELAX.
  
  Next, suggest an activity that you like - maybe you can do some hiking at a favorite spot in the afternoon and then catch a light and healthy dinner somewhere and see where things go from there.
  
  Oh, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but there is something about minature golf that seems disarming and let's guys just goof off and have some fun.
  
  Give us a full report after the date.

  
  
  That sounds like a good idea! Thanks man. Will totally give you guys an update

  
  
  
  You mean make up a fake story about him not being good enough for you?

  
  
  Why are you trolling waimea so hard dude? Did you really make an account just to troll him?

  
  
  
  You know very well that this story is just another made up bullshit just like all the other stuff he made up. If everyone compared there personal conversations with waimea, they truth would be shouting out at you.
  
  But whatever, if I understand many have fallen love with his damsel in distress personality where no one loves him and he is in the closet forever because he does not want to disappoing his parent,

  
  
  You're obsessed. you actually compared personal conversations with other members about me? That's so creepy.

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  Dec 18, 2011 1:12 AM GMT

  socalfitness saidRelax and just be yourself. Anytime you try anything else, it becomes obvious. And if you come across a bit nervous, don't worry. That can also be endearing.

  
  
  Thx

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  Dec 18, 2011 1:42 AM GMT

  JustThisOnce said

  waimea said

  JustThisOnce said

  dekiruman said

  JustThisOnce said

  waimea said

  sashaman saidFirst thing - RELAX.
  
  Next, suggest an activity that you like - maybe you can do some hiking at a favorite spot in the afternoon and then catch a light and healthy dinner somewhere and see where things go from there.
  
  Oh, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but there is something about minature golf that seems disarming and let's guys just goof off and have some fun.
  
  Give us a full report after the date.

  
  
  That sounds like a good idea! Thanks man. Will totally give you guys an update

  
  
  
  You mean make up a fake story about him not being good enough for you?

  
  
  Why are you trolling waimea so hard dude? Did you really make an account just to troll him?

  
  
  
  You know very well that this story is just another made up bullshit just like all the other stuff he made up. If everyone compared there personal conversations with waimea, they truth would be shouting out at you.
  
  But whatever, if I understand many have fallen love with his damsel in distress personality where no one loves him and he is in the closet forever because he does not want to disappoing his parent,

  
  
  You're obsessed. you actually compared personal conversations with other members about me? That's so creepy.

  
  
  Weren't you the one threatening to put private picture of a member? Yea empty threats from a empty boy.
  
  And I don't have to share notes, I can have the intellectual ability to sniff out a fake just by their behaviour. Please do yourself a favour and stop lying.

  
  
  Dude, don't do stuff like that. If you keep it up I'm gonna know who you are and that will make this less entertaining

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  Dec 18, 2011 1:48 AM GMT

  Okay I'm done.

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  Dec 18, 2011 6:31 AM GMT

  A date?

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